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#72554 - 09/07/03 03:57 PM Let the chat begin...
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
This is one of my favorite books. I find that interesting because I read it over 2 years ago before I started all this boomer women *stuff*.

Reflecting, I realize the reason I must have devoured it is because it's all about women connecting, encouraging, and supporting one another. Sound familiar? Another affirmation from the Lord that I am following His lead.

The whole girlfriend thing is something I believe I couldn't do without. [Big Grin]

I'm a firm believer that everything is better when shared with a friend.

Another thing I must mention is that I still get together with a group of friends that I've known since first grade, plus two that we met in high school.

While reading this book I could hear some of the same words coming out of our mouths. I have come to find that we have more similarities than differences when we are willing to open up and share. Many of us are joined at the hip and we don't even know it. [Razz]

Another thing I thought was fabulous was the differing reactions of the women when someone chose to disclose something. For the most part they were honest and enabled the discloser to reflect and grow from their comments.

Patricia Gaffney showed me that we are all human and the more we are willing to share our human-ness (is that a word?) we are truly blessed.

Now will the real Emma, Rudy, Lee, and Isabel please stand up?

More later, gotta get to church.

[ September 07, 2003, 08:59 AM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

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#72555 - 09/07/03 04:29 PM Re: Let the chat begin...
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Help! I'm trapped inside Emma's body and can't get out! I absolutely loved this book. I could not wait each day to find out what was going to happen next. I too have friends that have remained "attached to the hip" as Dotsie said. When I want someone to tell me to either suck it up and go on, or cry with me, I call/write one of these friends depending on the situation. Isn't that what these women did as well? Each person brought some kind of strength to the friendship. One was a good listener, one was a pillar of strength, etc...I think when what it all boils down to is love.
When you love someone, or they you, it doesn't matter what they do or say, you love them just the same. No judgements, just love. That is what I came away with after reading this book True friendships stand the test of time. They bend when necessary and they bend over backwards when really necessary. Also, and probably the most important thing I got from the book was that their friendships enabled each of them to grow in some way. Like Rudy being able to trust herself, or Isabel being able to die with dignity, Lee being able to count the blessings her ALREADY had, and my crazy Emma, learning to overcome her fear of rejection and putting someone else's feelings above her own. Sigh...what a book!

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#72556 - 09/08/03 02:54 AM Re: Let the chat begin...
Maggie Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/03
Posts: 765
Loc: Oregon
I too loved this book. Reminded me of my friends here that I gather with once in a while although one died of breast cancer a year ago and we find it hard to gather with busy lives. Like in the book we learned to disclose our inner selves and received the help we needed. The characters all
seemed so real I felt like I was part of the book at times. Crazy at that may sound.
Loved it when one of them told Emma she is a crazymaker and then she settled into her affair.
I think she was the most fun. Rudy and Lee seemed so serious. Isabel definitely was the motherly strength of the book.
Can't wait to hear what the rest of you thought of the book.
Maggie

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#72557 - 09/08/03 04:59 AM Re: Let the chat begin...
boomersis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/18/02
Posts: 31
Loc: Maryland
This book was awesome. I read it while I was on vacation and I felt like I just could not put it down. I read every chance I got - on the beach, waiting for everyone to get ready for dinner, before bed.

I get together with a group of friends from High School every May. We go on a trip together every year. One of my friends, I have known since kindergarten. Even though we do not get together as much as we would like throughout the year, it is like we were just together yesterday when we do make time to see each other. This book reminded me of our get-togethers.

Friends who are connected and can pick up after months of not being together. It is totally awesome! One thing that I did see in this book is that the women seemed to be closer to one individual than the others. Lee and Isabel had a closer connection; and Rudy and Emma were the other pair. I find this same type of pairing within my circle of friends. There seems to be one or two girls that seem to know each other the best. But, when the group is together, we are all best friends.

I look at my kids now and they are both in High School. I have told them both that I hope they are making life-long friends. My life-long friends were made in High School and I love them dearly. I want the same for my kids!

What is the next book?

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#72558 - 09/08/03 03:47 PM Re: Let the chat begin...
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I want to hear what everyone thought of Lee because I was that poor pathetic "gotta have a baby" woman for 4 years. Well, maybe only pathetic for 3 of those years. [Razz]

My hubby and I went through the whole infertility thing many years ago. Is it me, is it him, what if it's me, what if it's him, my period is late, my boobs are sore, I feel this, I feel that, this doctor, that specialist, this test, that invasion, friends and a sister getting pregnant 3 times while I couldn't MAKE 1, baby showers, births and little ole me with nothing in the oven! Beg and plead with the Lord...I swear if I get pregnant I'll never miss a Sunday! Too much stress, change jobs, trying too hard, not trying on the right days, basal themometers, basal charts, husband insemination, period late again, damn, get the period, another month/year, not pregnant...throw in the towel. Doctor upset, not finished with us, nothing wrong...who cares! Not doing this anymore! If the Lord wants us to have a baby, I'll get pregnant. Call the adoption agency, forget the making a baby thing...my baby will be here within the year...for SURE! Get psyched, get the baby room ready, OUR BABY BOY arrives from Korea in 9 months...thank you! Gotta have a sibling from the same country. Back to agency, file again, while waiting for our little baby girl to arrive, get Pregnant, anxiously call the social worker and make her promise that with the news I am about to deliver we will still be able to have our baby girl. She says, "YES!" WE are thrilled, tell no one, OUR BABY GIRL arrives at airport, month or so later, spill the beans that I am pregnant, couple months later, OUR BABY BOY arrives at hospital.

There you have it. I could totally relate to Lee and her obsession! Would have been great if I could have read this way back when!

Can't finish without telling you that it was during that infertility time with a couple other hard lessons (friend commiting suicide and health issues) that we truly stumbled upon our faith again. I had been raised Catholic and did the whole Catholic school/church thing growing up. Fell away from the church. Didn't even want to get married in a church (makes me sick to think about it now). Wanted the outside wedding, the whole bit!

But God had something else in mind when I figured out I wasn't the one in charge of this life afterall. Though it was a very pathetic time in my life, the Lord picked me up and put me on the road with Him and I will never leave His path again. For it is through Him that I find my peace, strength, and contentment!

How about you women? Any of you totally relate to one of the women in particular, and why? [Wink]

[ September 14, 2003, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

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#72559 - 09/13/03 09:24 PM Re: Let the chat begin...
Lynn Offline
Member

Registered: 06/26/03
Posts: 621
Loc: pennsylvania
All of your thoughts and reflections are great! I find that I am a combination of all four women. Actually, it doesn't surprise me since I think I have been schizophrenic all my life!

Yes, I identified with Isabel on the baby thing. I married my husband knowing his infertility. No big deal babies wer not in my traveling future. Hah! Let that clocl tick ever so slightly and wham! Babies are it!!! Well, long story, many years, many spiritual interventions we adopted a loving baby boy born to Korean birth parents in Baltimore. He was ours at birth! We wante to be parents not pregnant so that did not matter but all this occurred a few months after my 40th birthday.

Emma pulls my heart strings. I can identify with her inner thoughts the most I believe. Like many of you I had a small group of close friends that supported each other and their life choices. This occurred a couple of times depending on where I was living. Currently, my group fell apart because of one death, a husband relocating etc. I ahve not found the deep bond with another groupong since. It is time though. The female of the species raises the species and she does not do it alone....she need the other females for comfort and support not to mentin blowing off a little steam now and again. We are alot like lioneses.

I believe I will eventually settle with a new group but it takes time to build that trust and bond.

Loved the book can't wait for our next selection. Actually, I want to start a new book soon...can we decide soon? [Big Grin]

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#72560 - 09/13/03 09:59 PM Re: Let the chat begin...
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
I agree. I am ready to start another book. I hope it is one that we can check out of the library too. I have 498 books. No joke...and my prayer each weekend is "Lord, keep me out of Books-A-Million and Wal-Mart." I am currently reading three books. One is the J. Evonwich series about Stephanie Plum (read four so far), one the The Last Girls, by Lee Smith(just started, zzzz so far), one is The Secret Lives of Bees (on page 4) and I have another one at work but I haven't started it yet and can't remember the title. Wonder why? [Confused] Okay, I love to read. But I also like movies and will check some out from the library today. Hey, just watched "The Hours" and can say without any reservations that it is THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTRIE LIFE! What a waste of talent. It was pointless, badly written, and Meryl Streep was in it, who I love. Also, Nicole Kidman. I thought...it HAS to be good. NOT. Don't waste your time or money. [Mad] Course that's just my opinion.

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#72561 - 09/14/03 09:41 PM Re: Let the chat begin...
hearmeroar Offline
Member

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 21
What an easy-to-read book! Girlfriends are essential, especially as we grow older together. I saw none of myself in all of them and I saw some of myself in all of them. I was a bit taken aback by the lumping of 'new age', 'self healing', medicine and 'God.' Through their suffering, they experienced joy. Great book.

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