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#71413 - 07/20/07 07:46 PM Re: Nice, isn't always nice... [Re: Dianne]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
How often do you see these grown step-girls aka Paris Hiltons? Do they live with you and bf often several times per wk. or what? Would you/your bf be expected to support them financially if their mother couldn't help them financially?

You have to ask yourself just how much energy you want to spend understanding these gals if they don't live underneath your roof.

Not sure if badgering bf about his daughters is going to work right now. Better that you refocus to distance yourself from step-daughters and renew your energy in other areas of your life.

Can I ask you this simple question: Could you, your daughter and stepdaughters be able to all prepare a nice meal for yourselves / do potluck? Start by a shared activity that requires their adult contribution in relationship to you (not your bf). They are adults after all and adult expectations must now be placed on them.
_________________________
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#71414 - 07/21/07 02:36 PM Strengthening spirit... [Re: orchid]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
BonnieK,
I, too, have been troubled in my spirit these past two years. I don't want to blame God for allowing such misery to happen to such wonderful people. When we hurt extremely bad, we tend to fight with God. Why God, why? And our faith is shaken down to the core. So when you said a few posts back, about struggling with your faith, believe me you're not alone.
But I keep praying and I keep asking God to bolster my faith and trust in Him. Because I know, that I know God is the only answer to this ole world's woes!!!
I said all that, to say this..."You're not alone. We all struggle with our faith, sometimes!"
Blessings,
bonnie rose

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#71415 - 07/29/07 03:45 PM Re: Strengthening spirit... [Re: jabber]
BonnieK Offline
Member

Registered: 06/19/06
Posts: 45
Loc: Chicago suburbs
Hi,
Life has been rough. I had another big blow out with BF and have just been struggling to figure it all out. He will not go for help, blames me, saying I need to figure myself out. A very wise dear friend of mine who knows him helped to take my anger out of this. He is just so locked up and unable to come out of his self imposed haven of safety and denial. He has to blame me. Otherwise his head would probably explode. Well..until I can pull it all together I am trying to just not be combative and look at him with just sympathy and honestly, sadness. How sad for him. Its helped me look at his kids in a different light too. How sad for all of them.

I've been reading Eat, Pray, Love and it really hit me hard. I know some of you here have been reading it. I feel like the writer. It pushed so many buttons for me. I wish I had a book deal though! I'd be outta here with dust behind me. But I don't have that financial luxury.

As far as my faith, I'm still struggling. Even yoga yesterday was a battle. My physical body felt like the tin man. It was not until almost the end of the class that I had finally cleared my mind and body and could practice. for now, I am focusing on my job and spending alot of time there. It feel safe and appreciated. At home I am just kicking back, reading and spending time outside. Just wish the morning blues would go away. That has always been my battle.

O.k. I'm going on and on. Thanks for helping me feel I am not alone.

Bonnie

p.s. Bonnie rose...is that your full name or is rose your middle name? I'm from the Chicago area, very few Bonnie's. I was suppose to be "Beth", but my grandfather who was from Europe pronouced "th" as "t", so that is how I bacame a Bonnie!


Edited by BonnieK (07/29/07 03:49 PM)
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#71416 - 07/29/07 08:59 PM Re: Strengthening spirit... [Re: BonnieK]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
BonnieK, soemthing from your post struck me. It sounds as though you are only staying in this relationship for financial security. Would you say that is true? I only point this out because it sounds as though the relationship is a rollercoaster of emotion. There have been several women here who have taken a chance and walked away from financial security to learn that, survived, and are happier alone without the turmoil.

Just a little something to ponder. I hope I don't s o und harsh. Just a thought...

Also, I am more than happy to answer any questions you may have about faith, and I'm sure other women here would do the same.
_________________________
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#71417 - 07/31/07 12:55 PM Re: Strengthening spirit...
BonnieK Offline
Member

Registered: 06/19/06
Posts: 45
Loc: Chicago suburbs
Dotsie,

The financial part is big..I have to admit it. Lots of other things. I am attached to me, I have to say. But how? Probably familiarity, fear of being alone and some sense of fondness. He is not completely the boogie man. He was very supportive during my divorce, roller coaster with my then teenage son and the sudden illness and death of my mother. I hear all of you saying..thats nice, but it doesn't mean you owe him your life. I know, I know. The financial thing has been my lifetime nemesis.

On a better note, I prayed and asked for strength of mind and spirit and guidance to help me make the best choices for myself. Well...today is the first day in a while that I woke up and din't feel so down, gloomy and struggling. Hmmmm...I trully am grateful. The depression in the morning is awful. Makes you now want to get up.

So, today has started peacefully. Thanks for the support
_________________________
Bonnie K

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