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#71290 - 01/06/06 10:58 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
karenelaine1977 Offline


Registered: 06/15/09
Posts: 238
Loc: Mississippi
Number5-Here's a big ole hug for you. ((((Number5)))). I think that you have to take care of yourself now. Apparently, your husband is set and satisfied with his ways, but YOU, honey, have a daughter and granddaughter to think about. I am sure they want you around for a long time. So, for yourself and for them...remember that you don't deserve to be treated this way. May God give you the strength. Love, Karen

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#71291 - 01/06/06 10:31 PM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I just emailed her to see how things are going.

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#71292 - 01/09/06 07:37 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Hi everyone,
My life is too complicated for me to handle. I keep slipping up. I drink too much to drown the pain then get in trouble for drinking with the very people who are responsible for the pain. They don't like it when the enabler has a problem and isn't as strong as they would like. They can't lean on you anymore. People keep telling me to think of myself for once in my life, but I don't really know how to think of me. I keep saying that when this one's problem is resolved or that one's problem is resolved, then I can think about what I need and what would make me happy in this life.
I haven't felt powerful for a very long time and now my daughter who is going for sentencing on Friday the 13th had a bad pap smear and won't go for a biopsy. I'm so afraid of losing her and have been since she was 13. I just lost my husband from a massive heart attack on April 5th 2004 and remarried this asshole, now I live in fear of losing my daughter also. How do I find my way out of this tragic maze??? I have my three year old grandaughter with me and I want to do right by her. She is so precious and beautiful. I want a normal life for her and a routine. Life seems to be so tragic. How do I find my way back?

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#71293 - 01/09/06 07:45 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
The latest news on my step daughter is that she brought her boyfriend to meet us and used him as a scapegoat to gain her dad's attention. When she didn't get the emotional response she wanted, the rejected the boyfriend and left him emotionally bleeding and angry.
Then she stole my daughter's expensive clothing after she took the step sister out to eat, loaned her clothing and was kind and attentive to her, even bought her expensive perfume for Christmas.
My daughter suggested to the step daughter that meybe her belongings wound up in her suitcase by mistake. Finally, the step daughter admitted she had the expensive clothing items and said she would send them back. She knows, however, that my daughter is going away on friday the 13th to either prison or a program so these items probably will never be returned just like mine were never returned.
My husband continues to defend his daughter and says mine who may have a serious health issue that goes untreated is lazy, not a good mom and would love nothing better than for her to be locked up forever or worse.
I really do hate him for that.

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#71294 - 01/09/06 07:57 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
You are taking the first step out of the "tragic maze" by writing down the facts, but that will not protect you. Drinking will also not protect you. It will only endanger you and drag you down to a the level of those who abuse you.

Staying in this terrible situation certainly does not sound as if it has lead to a normal life for your daughter nor will it lead to a normal life for your granddaughter.

If your 'self esteem' is not strong enough at this point to escape for yourself, maybe you can do it for your daughter and granddaughter. You are not only putting yourself and your daughter, at risk, you are putting your granddaughter at risk also.

But this is your decision. Only you know the whole story and only you can take action. We will be here to support you no matter what you do.

Holding you in prayer.
smile

[ January 08, 2006, 11:58 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

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#71295 - 01/09/06 10:17 PM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
Number 5. I posted earlier and I'll tell you again. As soon as possible pack a bag and go to the police station, ask them to take you to the crisis shelter. YOU may not have the strength, will or self-esteem to get out on your own but THEY will help you. All you have to do is take the first step.

Your granddaughter and daughter need you fit and whole to help them. If you can't find enough love for your self to help yourself right now, you CAN find enough love to get out for the sake of your granddaughter.

I too, had been too frightened and too beaten down to get out on my own but when I looked into the eyes of my little boy I just couldn't sentence him to a lifetime of abuse. His life gave me the strength I needed to run to the crisis shelter--the help I received there was invaluable and was a turning point in my life. It can be for you too. That was almost 15 years ago and I am so glad to be out of that nightmare life! It's available to you too, grap it!

PS. They will also help you understand some of the ways you sabotage yourself--just when things are going good we tend to set ourselves up for failure, they'll help you recognize and bypass this self-distructive behaviour. Also they will help you with the 'self-medicating' you are doing. Reaching for a drink to dull the pain--if you think about it you probably started dating this man to dull the pain after your husband died.

I hope you won't think me pushy, but Jesus can take all that pain away and replace it with pure joy. He has for me and I know he will for you. Jesus loves YOU and has cared for you since before you were born. Reach for Him and He'll be there to take your hand...I'm praying for you and your little family--you've been on my heart all weekend. All of us are here for you and we love you!

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#71296 - 01/11/06 11:55 PM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
Pattyann Offline
Member

Registered: 07/08/05
Posts: 245
Loc: Ocala Florida
#5
You really need to go
How is drinking too much going to help?- You have been forced to be the strong one here and if you sink into some drunken stupor there will be no one to protect your grandchild.
There is really no way to live in this situation
If you need to start all over again with nothing- you can- as long as you have your life and your soul and that precious child
Please go

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#71297 - 01/21/06 07:04 PM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
Bubbles Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 16
Loc: WA
Boy, #5...hope everything is alright in this situation. No woman should have to deal with this. If a man loves you, truly loves you, then this stuff wouldn't be happening.

Why is your daughter going to prison? Or a program? Is this the mother of your grandchild?

Don't mean to be blunt but I'm coming into this kind of on the late side.

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#71298 - 01/22/06 04:03 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
See what I mean Number5, we really all do care very much even the newer ladies..

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