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#71280 - 01/03/06 12:30 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
Pattyann Offline
Member

Registered: 07/08/05
Posts: 245
Loc: Ocala Florida
Oh#5
Please run -Now!!
The only things you need to pack are the clothes the little theif didn't take and your precious grand daughter
You are not a slave- and for sure you are not an equal partner in this marriage- get a good lawyer
He is that bad- sorry- you really are just making excuses for him- you don't need to be mentally abused and for certain he is no one to be around a child

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#71281 - 01/03/06 02:06 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Number5 I already gave my opinion on this situation in your other post about it today and my answer still stands, padlock and key and your husband sounds like more of a putz than before.... [Eek!]

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#71282 - 01/03/06 02:59 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
LSmith5434 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/02/05
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington State
Wow......I missed this post.
Here we go again.....I totally agree with Chatty and everyone else.
Please......get out and away from both the abusive people in you life!
Lynne

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#71283 - 01/03/06 02:27 PM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I'm so happy to have found this site. Thanks to all of you for your input. When I read what I wrote in a public forum like this, I realize that I sound like a total wimp for even trying to make this work.
I think I've lost my self respect and have accepted a role as servant or underling. Last night I went with my daughter to work out in a town nearby. My husband threw a fit saying, "There is so much to do around here and you want to go and work out!" "Sure, leave me hurting and working, that's my workout." "You go on the the gym with your daughter though"
I DID and enjoyed every minute of it, furthermore, after the gym my daughter, grandaughter and I went out to eat at a Japanese restaurant. I worried and fretted the whole time we were eating out only to discover when I talked to him on the phone that he had left his "chores" and gone to the bar shortly after we left.
He was already about 3 sheets by the time I got home. I can't live like this anymore, in fear and anxiety and wondering from one day to the next if I'm even going to have a home or a husband or a job or be yelled at or doors slammed or things broken.
Once he put me in a hammer lock and forced me to ride in a vehicle with a drunk driver. Other people saw and heard him. When we got home he chased me throuogh the house and tried to kick the bathroom door in. The hole is still there.
He threw a metal beer bottle at me several times trying to hit me with it and broke his own eye glasses and several of our dinner glasses all over the floor and I had to clean it up.
Maybe his daughter would be good for him or someone from Russia.....
Anyway thank all of you so much and God bless you.

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#71284 - 01/03/06 06:52 PM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
yepthatsme2 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
You deserve so much better....

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#71285 - 01/03/06 07:47 PM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Number5,
It sounds as if the abuse in your marriage is becoming increasingly violent. I hope you are making provisions to protect yourself as you may be in danger.

Please don't be concerned that we will think you a "wimp." Facing a failed marriage is so difficult. It's a time when believing in miracles is easier than facing fact. But the fact is you must protect yourself and your family.

Writing your experiences down and posting them on here is a huge first step. And it sounds as if you are already becoming emotionally stronger. We will be here to listen and support no matter what decision you make.

Your survival should be your most important consideration at this point, but perhaps you should consult an attorney to help you develop exit strategies.

You and your family will be in my prayers today.

smile

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#71286 - 01/04/06 08:06 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Number5, please begin making plans to get away from him.

Wimp, not. I believe you are strong.

Coming here may have been step one, but we need to hear about step two. What plans are you making for your departure from this abusive situation? Feel free to tell us and perhaps we can offer some suggestions.

We will certainly build your confidence to do the right thing...and that is to protect yourself.

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#71287 - 01/04/06 08:06 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
#5 Don't think about anything, just pack your bags as soon as he leaves for a couple of hours and leave. Go to the nearest police station and ask where the women's crisis shelter is. They will take you there. You will be safe there, it isn't listed so he won't know where you are. You and your grandchildren are in danger. You are in an abusive situation where he is setting you up to use you as his financial support after he retires. He is using the threat of throwing you out to control you. Beware of cycles where he is nice and you fall for him all over again--they will be quickly followed by periods of abuse. We will all support you, encourage you and pray for you. Be bold, take action, protect yourself and leave before something really bad happens to you or your grandchild.

My advice--don't wait for plan B. Get out and then make plans. If he comes home drunk and forces you to go on another joy ride--you might not ever get to plan B. Go now, go quickly.

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#71288 - 01/04/06 02:14 AM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Good God girl what are you waiting for, the ME to be standing over your dead body saying, poor thing! You never mentioned violence in the other post at all or my answer would have been much stronger. Now is not the time to worry about what anyone else thinks of you. You are not a wimp, you are an abused, frightened and confused woman who needs to get herself together and get the hell out of there while you are still able to....No one deserves what you have been given and mark my words the worst is yet to come if you remain there....

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#71289 - 01/04/06 01:01 PM Re: Hanging On By A Thread!
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
Number5, I agree with everything that's been said.

It's imperative that you leave this very dangerous situation ASAP. It will only get worse. You're endangering yourself, your daughter and your granddaughter.

If you're worried about the money and time and effort you threw into this relationship already --- the longer you stay, the more you'll lose. Cut your losses before you lose everything -- and I do mean EVERYTHING.

See a lawyer. NOW.

You cannot fix your marriage. It was damned from the start because you husband has been abusing you in one form or another since Day 1.

Get out.
Get out.
Get out.
Get out.

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