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#71087 - 07/19/05 07:10 AM Re: 25 doing on 12
chickadee Offline
Member

Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
Welcome Virginia Lee. A happy belated birthday to you. You will enjoy it here. Welcome aboard.

chickadee

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#71088 - 07/19/05 03:13 PM Re: 25 doing on 12
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Virginia,
Welcome girl! I visited your homepage and wow! I love bluegrass...how I envy you the talent. Do you all ever come to the Bluegrass Festival at Athens State here in Athens, AL? It's a pretty big deal around these parts. Let me know if you do, I'd love to seek you out and hear you. Welcome to the board and maybe you could go over to the Welcome post and tell everyone about yourself. Jump right in and post anywhere you want, you're gonna love it here!

JJ

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#71089 - 07/19/05 05:49 PM Re: 25 doing on 12
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Another Boomer from Nashville! I'm in Franklin so let me know where you'll be playing so I can listen in. Welcome.

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#71090 - 08/05/05 07:16 AM Re: 25 doing on 12
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
I hate to break your bubble, Virginia, but we're dealing with two very, very immature people. The situation has gotten worse...in fact, it's gotten so bad that I've decided to back out of any interfacing with G and M. Not only has G still refused to apologize to me for anything, he has called me a liar and now has started changing his story about what happened when he slammed down the phone on me. G and M thought they were going to come here and continue on as if nothing happened without have to do any repairs for damages they've done to us...when Larry told G that he still is required to apologize to me, Grady wanted to know what for and then began a character assanation about me to his father. It's gotten quite rediculous. In order to keep my husband out of the middle, which unfairly so he was for quite some time, I've asked him to tell G the next time he wants to tear me down to tell him that I'm off limits and if he can't say anything good about me then he will not say anything at all...(my mamaw used to tell me that)....anyway, I don't discuss G anymore with my husband unless he brings him up. What's made this even more sad is G's wife, M, who is pregnant told Larry the other night that all this stress is bad for her and the baby and she needs not to be stressed. She knows Larry is very tender hearted and can be easily manipulated and made to feel guilty and is using her pregnancy as an emotional blackmail with him...he may not see it, but I can...the moment M was pregnant she used her pregnancy to get out of doing her housework, being close to her husband (her words to me...she only had sex so she could get pregnant), and when she doesn't want to do something she'll say she's sick.
The bottom line here girls is I'm too old to be playing these games and my husband is tired of being used by G and now manipulated by them. We had a very good discussion about what's going on with larry's mom the other night...she said G called her and tried to complain to her about me and she told him she wasn't getting in the middle of it (way to go, mom). We had never really sat her down and told her everything and when we did, she was supportive and shocked at G's behavior not only to his dad but to me. She knows how supportive and giving and loving I've been to her grandson. I never, ever, ever, ever treated him like a red-headed step-child (that was a saying from when I was a kid...and a step-child, myself). My step-mom was a witch and I promised I'd never be like that if I ever became a step-mom and I haven't...But I have become firm in not letting G and M bully me and Larry and I will continue to hold that stance, even if it means G and M are out of my life forever. When people are distructive to our lives, even if family, they need to be held at bay so they do no more damage to one's family. G and M are still young (early 20's) and have a lot to learn...my letting them walk all over us is not what I want to teach them...or allow them to do. If I allow this, then they'll do it for the rest of my life...that isn't going to happen.

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#71091 - 08/04/05 09:18 PM Re: 25 doing on 12
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
When a soldier is in a war zone it's important to maintain radio silence. I think by backing away from them and not playing these mind games, they will...hopefully...stop. It sounds like you and your husband have been put in a war zone.

People continue to do what works for them and when it stops working they either try harder or catch a clue and stop their behavior. Some people just have to learn the hard way, sadly.

I remember telling my husband that it wasn't right for him to allow his sons to "tattle" on me and he needed to put a stop to it. I also told him that if they had a problem with me, they should be men and call me. Of course, they never did. They may still tattle to dad but I sure don't hear about it! [Big Grin]

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#71092 - 08/04/05 11:11 PM Re: 25 doing on 12
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
I agree with you completely...we'll see if it works. Are you a step-mom? For how long? What did you go through?

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#71093 - 08/05/05 12:17 AM Re: 25 doing on 12
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Yep, I'm a stepmonster. 10 years for me and they are grown, in their 30's. I could write all day what I've been through but it boils down to them not being able to accept a woman in their dad's life or feeling they can interject their thoughts into our marriage. And, there's my husband being afraid they might go away if they think I'm taking their place. It has become so stupid I don't go there anymore. I just back away and let the fur fly but I do think my husband is slowly coming around.

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#71094 - 08/11/05 02:19 AM Re: 25 doing on 12
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Just wanted to let everyone know that it's been blissfully peaceful for the past week or so. My husband hasn't received anymore phone calls (that I know of) concerning me from his son or daughter-in-law. I think they're finally getting the idea that I want to stay as far away from them as possible and that I am not interested in putting my heart in the fire again. It got burned quite badly and I don't plan on being foolish again. So for now, all is quiet and peaceful...which is nice.

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