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#70915 - 11/09/04 03:26 AM Re: Holidays?
Lynn Offline

Registered: 06/26/03
Posts: 621
Loc: pennsylvania
Thanks for your suggestions Dotsie and Chatty.
I never thought about not talking about her. Even in her worst ways, I still felt like it was his family and family is a gift. (From my point of view anyway). Maybe he is better off without her.

But...what do I do when she surfaces? I went for quite awhile and never said a word about her then she arrives and I have to explain her presence to a 4 year old. I did it and it was ok but I did not like it. I'll think on it.


#70916 - 11/09/04 04:36 AM Re: Holidays?
chatty lady Offline

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Nancy, try this, tell the little guy that she/this if she's there is his SOMETIME SISTER I bet he'd take to that explanation, say its sort of like him having a COLD SOMETIME. My ex had a daughter that was a similar problem for my youngest and thats what I told him whenever she graced us with her exhalted presence. He was about 3 or 4 and that explanation worked just fine, he understood that he had a sister sometimes....Kids are alot smarter than we give them credit for. I personally NEVER discussed her in front of my sons and they got so they couldn't care less. Good luck! [Big Grin]

#70917 - 11/22/04 10:45 PM Re: Holidays?
Dotsie Offline

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I read an article in our local Sunday paer yesterday about families uniting for the holidays. In other words, your EX would come to your home with his new family and everyone celerates together for the sake of the kids. [Eek!]

The idea is to keep the kids from having to split themselves in two and race back and forth between families.

What do you think ladies? Have you ever tried that?

I can't wait to see what the queen has to say. [Big Grin]

#70918 - 11/23/04 12:09 AM Re: Holidays?
TVC15 Offline

Registered: 09/03/04
Posts: 2538
Loc: North Carolina
Dotsie, we've been doing this for years. After my MIL remarried it was hard for us to see her and Dad for holidays. Fortunately she married a wonderful man and it was at his suggestion that my father in law be included in all family get togethers. It made life so much easier for all of us and it always worked out fine.

#70919 - 11/28/04 04:18 AM Re: Holidays?
Lynn Offline

Registered: 06/26/03
Posts: 621
Loc: pennsylvania
Just a short note to let you know that the prodigal daughter called on Thanksgiving, I ansered and she promptly wished me a Happy Thanksgiving and asked for her father. (He was in the bathroom) While I went to fetch, Nathan picked up the phone to chat. The conversation was short, she wanted her father, Nathan took the phone to the bathroom where her father talked to her.

While this was going on, Nathan then lamented about a few things that he should have said to her. I encouraged him to get back on the phone and tell her how he felt. But he just shrugged it off with slumped shoulders and carried on.

This is what kills me. The quick spurts of life that are not for him. He has others in his life but it is not her.

Just makes me sad. Thanks for listening.


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