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#69892 - 07/25/05 12:36 AM Advice on relocating
Kelly L. Adams Stone Offline
Member

Registered: 04/08/03
Posts: 267
Loc: Florida
Wondering if anyone else who is single and doesn't have the benefit of a spouse's income to assit with finances has had the experience of relocating to another state without first having a job to transfer to. I'm wanting to move back to FL next year to be closer to family but of course job, money to live on while job searching, how to sell house and pay the mortgage until it sells, etc. all has to be dealt with and planned for.

If anyone has pearls of wisdom I would love to hear them. I've been wanting to do this for oh, about 10 years, and realize I will just have to up and do it rather than waiting for the "perfect" time.

Thanks in advance.
Kelly

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#69893 - 07/25/05 09:19 PM Re: Advice on relocating
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Hi Kelly,
I haven't seen your posts before. If you're new welcome. If not welcome back.

As to moving as a single person, I've done it and my only advice is 'get a job first.' I have never moved with neither a job or a husband in the new area, but without a husband's income to lean on, it seems prudent to look for a job first especially if you are at midlife.

And with the internet, it seems as if finding work would be pretty easy. There is, of course, monster.com and almost all newspapers are now online so finding something should be fairly simple.

And even if it is not what you want long term, being employed simply makes you more employable.

Good luck to you in your move. Please keep us informed. If you're new, look around the site. There's a lot of smart women here.
smile

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#69894 - 07/26/05 05:10 AM Re: Advice on relocating
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Sometimes if someone has a good profession and gets hired long distance the new company will move you in order to get you there. I moved to DC and the newspaper I went to work for paid for my move and put me up in a furnished apartment till I found my own place a couple months later.
Personally I have found that there is no perfect time and I have moved across country with 2 children 4 times alone without a job to go to and somehow it always works out....

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#69895 - 07/28/05 07:27 AM Re: Advice on relocating
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Kelly, you say you want to move closer to family. Can they help you make the transition? I wish money did not have to get in the way of our dreams. LLL

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#69896 - 07/28/05 04:37 PM Re: Advice on relocating
Kelly L. Adams Stone Offline
Member

Registered: 04/08/03
Posts: 267
Loc: Florida
Hello everyone,

Thank you for the advice. At this point my goal is to save enough money to where money isn't an issue, at least enough to get me thru the transition. Wish me luck.

Also, I have been on these boards previously as Kelly L. Stone. I have added back my family name to the mix just to give it a try for a while.

Best,
Kelly

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#69897 - 07/28/05 06:38 PM Re: Advice on relocating
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Kelly, I was in the same sort of situation for many years. I had moved to Nova Scotia (the East Coast of Canada), but all of my family still lived in Ontario. It was only supposed to be for six months, but I ended up staying there for 17 years...but spent the last 7-8 years of that time yearning for a way to move home. I was too poor and didn't have a clue how to make that move by myself. Looking back, that inertia seems surprising, because I had made the initial move TO Nova Scotia all by myself with no job and yet found one the day after I arrived there. So you'd think that would have taught me to trust my instincts a little more!

I never told my family about wanting to move home, because I had already put them through so much grief with my depression. Looking back now, I know they would have loved to have me back home and would probably have done everything in their power to help make it happen. Sadly, I didn't recognize THEIR yearning for me too until I DID move back.

It was after I met my now-hubby that the dream of going home became a reality. I admit that it's sad that it took his money and strength of will to do it, but at the same time, if I had moved back on my own when I had wanted to, I would never have met hubby, so maybe it was all meant to work out that way.

Anyway, I say to follow your heart. Life's too short to not follow what dreams you are able to make come true. If your heart is yearning to move closer to your family, I say do it, and the rest will follow. And if you have any sort of rapport with your family, tell them. What can you lose? If they're not in any position to help, then you're no worse off. But if they CAN help, like mine would have, then who knows what can happen with their love to back you up.

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#69898 - 07/28/05 06:56 PM Re: Advice on relocating
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Eagle, I like the way you think. I agree that you never would have met hubby and that was meant to be!

Kelly, does your family know you are planning to do this? You are not the first boomer I know who has wanted to get back home. I bet this topic could make a good book.

[ July 28, 2005, 11:57 AM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

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#69899 - 07/29/05 02:36 AM Re: Advice on relocating
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
Kelly,
I am also in the same situation. Divorce in process, family would like me to move closer to home. (I would too). However, son is just getting his head on straight and making plans to start college this fall and will have to commute-at least short term. I have been looking for a new job to help make ends meet for 7 months and haven't found anything worth while. I do live in a somewhat rural setting, but it only took 3 months to land this job 3 years ago.

Considering our 'boomer' age and how important it is for us to have a nestegg at retirement, I wouldn't move without a job.

Personally, my plan is to find a house or duplex that needs work, buy low, fix up for next two years, finish recooping from divorce, then decide whether or not to move, son will have graduated from college and he'll be on his own by then.

If I decide to move I can either sell high or keep as a rental property to continue to bring in extra income. In a pinch, rental income could be used to carrying me over till I find a job--course by then, I will be a big name writer and not need a J-O-B anymore!!

I'll be praying for you!

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#69900 - 07/29/05 06:45 PM Re: Advice on relocating
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
starting ove, who knows, youmay be the next JK Rowling!

I think you are smart to stay settled for your son. That's probably the best thing you can do for him at this time. I admire you for putting his needs above your needs at the moment. Like you say, he will be on his own before too long. [Wink]

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#69901 - 08/01/05 10:06 PM Re: Advice on relocating
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
Dotsie,
From your lips to God's ear, as they say! I would love to write something that is as big a hit as what JK Rowling has done--who wouldn't?!!

It's so sad to think about moving away from your child. Children are supposed to grow up and leave you-not the other way around. I know it's the best thing for him right now, but I confess that I was also way too emotional about the thought of moving away from him--it just felt like I was abandoning him--even if he is 20! Parents don't move-kids move. I don't know, it just seemed wrong somehow...

Has anyone else gone through this--the emotional 'hey-this-is-wrong-parents-don't-move-kids-are supposed-to-do-that',thing?

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