Hi,
I'm new here and have been reading many of the posts. I have been single for almost ten years and have three children. I left an abusive marriage to a man who drank and had affairs. I denied it for a long time but finally because of my children made the decision to leave.
I was wondering how many of you have contacted past lovers after leaving your marriage. I have been on a journey for some reason and have reunited with more than one since my divorce. It has been a healing process although very painful. Each time I meet up with a past lover I go through the pain of the break up all over again. I have finally figured out that I have been trying to go back in time as I know the past and am afraid to go forward and develop a new relationship because of trust issues. Just last month I met up with a guy I dated through high school. We broke up because my parents objected to us dating because he was of another race. He is married and always held a torch for me. I was at a trade show in my home town 3,000 miles away from where I live now. He picked me up at the airport and the day I left he drove me to the airport after stopping by his house. He is doing well for himself and gave me the grand tour. He also got out the photo albums where he had photos of us. After I got home I wondered why he took me to his house. Was he trying to show me the lifestyle I could have had? He knows that I am not very well off. I found it confusing. I also found looking at the photos of us very painful and wished we could have spent more time together although I realize that he is married and don't want to interfere with that situation. I emailed him when I got back asking him to stay in touch and thanking him for the drive etc. but he has not emailed me back. I also find this confusing because he wanted to see me and insisted on picking me up and driving me to the airport and then he doesn't keep in touch. Any thoughts. Also just thought a new post on this subject would create some interesting stories from others as it is often a dangerous thing to reconnect especially if there are unresolved feelings. That said it can also help you to work through unfinished business and move on.
Stories anyone?
KATE

About two years ago, I got an email from my HS boyfriend, whom I unceremoniously dumped after I graduated. That was Chicago, and he lives 90 miles east of me now. He found me on Google and invited me to visit.

He's living with a BF of 7 years who was majorly jealous of me, although I have no idea why.

It was a pleasant enough visit, although I don't suspect we'll meet again. I guess he still was curious about me. When I left in 1968, I didn't look back.

Where did all the posts on this topic go?

Lynn329 if you click Singlehood under the General column on the left of the screen it will bring up all of the posts under this topic, they are all there somewhere and only change when someone issues a new topic. You can revive any there by clicking on it and then posting your reply...

SORRY,FOR SOME REASON WHEN I STARTED THIS POST IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE IT WENT THROUGH SO I DOUBLE CLICKED. MAYBE THE WEBMASTER CAN PUT ALL THE POSTS IN ONE AS I COULD NOT FIND A WAY TO DO IT.
KATE

Not a problem sweetie, it all works out in the end.....

Katie, something similar happened to me several years ago. My first child was only an infant when my abusive husband and I parted. I was convinced that I was done and started dating a very handsome and loving young man that had just completed college. I cringed to even think of my husband once I met him and knew that I had screwed up by jumping the wrong broom with the wrong man...a man that would even hit me with a broom.

During out dating time, he helped heal some of my wounds by treating me tenderly w/compassion and dignity, like a man should. He treated my infant as though he was his own too.

I was stuck off in my old fashion ways and confused myself about raising my child with his natural father, my husband. My new love was offered a job that he couldnt refuse down in Mississippi (I had moved to Chicago with my husband but was a country girl) Anyhow, this man begged and pled for me to go with him and start life anew.

I refused. The next time I visited the south, surely I looked him up. He picked me up from Amtrak and took me to his house. When we arrived, dinner was done and being served by this woman. I had no idea that while she was setting the table and he was giving me 'the tour' that this was his wife! How rotten! Not to mention how our lips met long and sweet just minutes prior to entering 'their' home.

As time passed and I kept in close contact with some mutual friends and some of his own family, they'd tell me these rotten things this man would do to that woman.

All I can say is, "But by the Grace of God, there goes me."

Who knows what you were spared or even why.

Sugeree