When single, I had the tendency to intimidate men. Probably because I never let them intimidate me! I'm not bashful, not afraid, but not loud or boastful either. I was just happy to be out with someone that I liked and was there to have fun. Meeting new people (men) can be an adventure because they all have such different jobs and hobbies so you learn a lot!

Hmm...Sugaree and Dianne...these are interesting ideas you are putting forth.
Sugaree...I hope your contact with this new fella proves satisfactory to you. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and know what you're about!!!! An inspiration. I hope it works out for you.
Dianne, you sound like me! Neither am I loud or boastful, but I do seem to intimidate men. Oh, well, that's their problem. For now, I am not inclined to be in the company of any man! I think it is worthwhile to pursue serenity, peace of mind. For 20+ years of marriage I wanted that. Now, in 8 years of singlehood, I have wasted a lot of energy on dating and dysfunctional relationships. Time to reassess and take stock of where my priorities lie. As I stated in my initial posting here on this thread..."How much anxiety, self-doubt, self-recrimination, nervousness is justified in order to maintain a relationship with a man...NONE!! NONE!!!
ARI

He may be a good catch since he's a CEO of a fairly large co. here. I love his style. He's a keynote speaker as well. He's got so much going is why I feel small around him. Maybe he's the type that wants/needs someone that isn't as smart so that he wont be intimidating. In past relationships I've heard (in so many words) that I'm intimidating which equals elimidating. That's a good thing though.

If a man wants a dummy, he will certainly find one because there are many out there.

You say that you've wasted time and energy on dating....maybe not. I guess every lesson in life is for a reason. Now you can enjoy your visits with you a bit better since you know what's out there. You can be a bit more content.

Hey, when you find this content stuff, tell me what it feels like, ok? LOL-just kidding. It has its moments, like anything else.

I'm listening in on this conversation. Ari, congratulations on your epiphany! It's wonderful when revelations came come from grief because then it becomes growth! I recall that men were intimidated by intelligence, yet I was always so stupid as to pick these men! I recall long nights of lonliness, yet the desire for solitude. The lonliness was not so much for a man or a friend, but for my SELF. I was lonely for my own self. Where was I? Once I started to spend more time with my spirit, I became less likely to seek companionship with others. We are so complex! When I met my husband, I told him I'd been married before, and I would never get married again. Famous last words: We have been married since 1988. Many women are married and lonely, and a man can't always fill that lonliness. Nor would I expect him to. Love and Light, Lynn

Got this quote in my email today and thought I'd share it in this forum.

"Honor your total self. Life becomes meaningful and your purpose more clear when you come from a place of wholeness."

Dr. Bernie Seigel

Let's keep digging into our inner selves so we can create more beautiful outer selves. Beauty comes from within. Let's hear it for a more beautiful midlife!

[ May 12, 2005, 01:19 PM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

You couldn't have found a better post for this occassion! Kudos to Dr. Seigel for publishing his thoughts and you finding at least one of them!

Thanks sugaree. I loved it too.

Super Sugar and something all can benefit from...