Did you have lunch?

I don't know if you've read the other posts in here, but I just read a book that you might want to check out. It's called He's Just Not That Into You. While reading it I couldn't believe the excuses women give for thier men. The male author will be a real boost to your self-esteem and make you realize you don't have to settle for second best. You are a wonderful, loving, caring person and there is no need to put up with excuses in relationships.

Also, please read some of the other forums because you will find there are several women in here who have decided they don't need a man to feel complete. They have found happiness from within and that can make all the difference in the world when it comes to finding someone to share this life with.

Jen, Dot's last response is so true. When I first started off here, I was a wreck trying to decide whether or not to continue with excuses for the lump of dung I thought I loved. These women, especially JJ and Chatty, lit into me so good that I didn't have a choice but to revisit exactly what was keeping me in the 'second best' mode.

I must admit, I did see him several more times afterward ( too cowardly to admit this in the forum prior, LOL). But, after reading all of the input, I was with him with my eyes wide open. The sparks that kept me thinking of him were dull, and now just gone. Everything, especially the Chatty input, was true about him. Each time he came up with a reason for his ill-behaviors, I thought about what had been presented to me here.

You can always go into the archives to take a look at those chats. Very interesting stuff there. Or, do what Dots suggested, get the book.

Good luck with that fragile heart of yours. Remember, you only have one.

Sugaree

Why are women so willing to overlook being treated badly? Because we are raised to be "caretakers", and men are raised to "look after number one?"

I've got a few experiences of my own, and can't seem to resolve the situation (at least not yet).

My relationship with my boyfriend has turned into a "best friends with benefits" sort of situation. Which is not entirely bad. I have somebody to do things with, and the freedom to be with my friends at other times. But I would appreciate some kindnesses every now and then.

One example: He had some money problems over this past holiday season, so we agreed to not exchange gifts. No problem there. But I didn't even get a card.

We went away the week after Christmas (my treat) and he got angry with me because he perceived "a cold wind blowing through" when I didn't accept affection one day. On New Year's Day, there was not even a "Happy New Year." Yet, he's not a bad guy.

Other guy friends tell me that men appreciate straight-forward messages. I "want" to tell him "let's still see each other but not be exclusive anymore" but I haven't gotten the nerve yet.

Chatty, you speak the truth.

Jenniemouse, if marriage is on your "want list" he did you a favor by ending it early-on, instead of letting you waste precious years waiting for him to "be ready." I know that doesn't lessen the immediate pain, though. Hang in there...

Whirlwind

I have not heard from him since that day, and I don't expect to hear from him until after the two-week "cooling-off" period is over (whatever that means).

Today, I was very melancholy at work. I missed having someone to call up on my cell phone and just talk about the events of the day, both national and personal. It's the little everyday things, not the big weekend plans, that you end up missing the most.

jennie, have you spoken with him about the little things that mean so much? Would he be surprised if he read your post?

If you have communicated with him about these types of issues in the past and he hasn't gotten the message, then maybe it's time to rethink and carry on.

Is it better to be alone and without bitterness than to be with someone and feeling discontent?

Just something to think about.

Dotsie, I have no idea what he would think of my post. I doubt very much he would find his way to this board...

The two-week cooling-off period ends this Saturday. If he calls, I'm going to keep it nice and friendly. Perhaps if we can talk again about the events of the day, I could be content with that.