Her dreams of marriage and collected marriage values disintegrate when she finds her husband/partner is sharing with others what was meant for her. The partner is her/his own property and dignity that she does not want to loose. Her man for her is everything, whatever kind he is, she manages and sacrifices to get along as long as he is honest and dependable. Infidelity by her man is attack on her marital status and is suicidal for her:
• She looses the trust and dependability; who would she trust when own man has cheated. She is devastated sensitively and mentally. She leads her tensed life with grieving emotions would be enough to develop mental and physical deceases.
• Both partners believe sexual partner as a personal valuable asset that demonstrates dignity and pride. A sexual partner is most valued partner becomes own dignity thus loosing partner is loosing dignity. Unfaithfulness of the partner is an insult to the personal values. So the matter becomes unbearable and embarrassment if partner’s sexual attraction goes into others hands is shameful and loosing self-respect.
• Her financial and other security is at risk. For a woman, her male partner is her security and safety. In addition, for a woman who is dependent, her man is the economic security. Her man shares her necessities, burdens, takes responsibilities of her, and kids. When he is there she is totally worry free.
• Loss of the best and emotional friend/partner she got. She, as she wished could share with partner her sentiments, anger, sorrow and everything of her was for her mental relief, what she cannot share with unknown. So is an emotional attack on her.
• For a woman it is pride when her man is around her. Absence of the partner results loneliness, which she would hate more than anything. Loneliness exists when is unable to share personal thoughts and sentiments with reliable person, is like killing self.
• She/he is not worried of her/his relation out side marriage rather what worries him/her is loosing emotional attachment woven during the whole episode. So more than the security she looses the emotional values she possessed and shared. Security is for survival and emotional attachment is for the energy she needs for existence. That is why women feel totally distressed when her man deceives.
• For a man his woman is his dignity and for a woman her man is her dignity and identity. Her man is her identity as father of her children. Her man is her identity as her security.

Living and sharing together is attachment of both souls they unknowingly build. Feeling of oneness contributes to energetic atmosphere. Feeling of meant for each other with who can fight, love, share, capitulate, expect, involve sentimentally and etc; all attachments are disintegrated when one cheats. Woman is more touching as uses heart more than the brain to visualize so is intolerable for her that her man shares his life with other woman too.

Infidelity is psychological syndrome created by attraction of the opposite, genetic and discontented behaviour, unrelenting sexual and emotional craving. Infidelity is an outcome of fading ambience, dislike, despair, humiliation, loneliness and etc. No adult person can escape the attraction of opposite sex, it influences our mind to admire and capitulate towards the quality. Some attractions are too strong to influence us to get involved emotionally despite married life; this involvement of extra marital is named by the society as infidelity. Woman too is human, she too has feelings and her body chemicals too react by mental signals when comes in contact with attractive person. She too perceives the virtues of attraction and imagines relating with, but in many occasions her conscious prevents getting involved observing the danger of family and social consequences. In developed countries she has rights to leave the partner for better. But when she keeps two philanders simultaneously becomes offence and is extra marital relation.
Link to this article:
http://www.sadashivan.com/marriagedreamswhenfails/index.html

WOW....heavy stuff and mostly truth I believe. This seems to be the subject these days at many gatherings as infidelity of both sexes has run rampant....

Just a note of caution. I clicked the link and my virus catcher caught a trojan virus that came with it.
Sada, maybe you should contact the site administrator.

smile

thanks will contact for any virus

Uh oh, I also got the high virus alert. Weird, huh?

Virus has been cleaned from the site. Thanks

I didn't click the link and thanks for sharing that it was infected! Whew! I have been doing some administrative sorta work on this particular computer and turned off some intricate parts of this firewall and virus protection down and even off at some points. Really, thanks.

Ok, back to infidelity...yes indeed, that article is true. I recalled feeling those very emotions as I read thru it. I recalled thinking that when I experienced it, it was an isolated incident and that I wouldn't let it destroy me. Little did I know, my mind archived that pain and took that 'baggage' into the next relationship. So, when incidents that threatened (true or not) and evoked similar feelings, I attacked first. I even cheated on the next thinking immaturally, "I'll get you first."

Yes, I did but lost more than I could ever understand with my weery mind. I didn't like it and longed for the relationship that would make me feel complete and whole and free of worries. I left that relationship, for more than those reasons, but have never really recovered from the sort of pain associated with those emotions.

Learning to trust is soooo hard. Never learning or the inability is sooo lonely. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

Sugaree

[ August 25, 2005, 02:38 AM: Message edited by: Sugaree ]