I will allow for someone to be late the first time, but they don't have a good excuse, like they had to stop and give CPR to a dying person, they pay for the consequences. I just leave if I'm waiting too long for someone.

Daisygirl

I read these rules of etiquette in Edith Post's column:

It is okay to be five minutes late for a buffet style dinner but not more than this.

For a cocktail party with snacks a 15 minute late arrival is okay, but not more than this.

For a sit down dinner you are required to be on time.

I guess I should've clipped the newspaper article for her. When she was my children's Godmother she arrived on time at our home to go to the church.

One Christmas Eve my mother kept us waiting for two hours! My mother-in-law and father-in-law were also here as guests for three days. My poor mother-in-law was wringing her hands and couldn't believe the audacity of my parents keeping us all waiting to eat. I was steaming! When my mother finally arrived I asked her what had happened. She said she was doing some last minute Christmas shopping!!!!!!!

Later on when we were talking I brought this up to my mom and told her I would never wait that long again. Boy did that make her angry!

Ladybug maybe leaving her off the guest list a few times would suffice and when she inquires as to why, just say "well it was a gourmet meal that would be ruined unless served on schedule," BAM, hopefully that might get her attention....Its suttle but to the point.

Once my new sister-in-law was invited with her husband (my husbands brother) over for Sunday dinner. i slaved for two days making meatballs, stuffing sausage meat into cassing and cooking my sauce for n5 hours on the stove, the table was set, the salad dished and in they walked only a half hour late BUT the kicker was they said casually when asked by my husband if they had trouble finding the place, "oh no but Pat (the wife)wanted to stop at Burger King for a snack." My husband was so livid I thought he would burst a blood vessel. They just picked at the food and were never invited over again. Oh and believe it or not, my brother-in-law had the nerve to say, "man that sausage & meatballs were was so good, how about making me a couple sandwich for lunch tomorrow?" I did too...

I so agree with Eagle Heart when she said that "we teach people how to treat us"...I spent my first fifty years treating people the way that I wanted to be treated...but I realize now that by always being sweet and accepting rude behavior by excusing it I had become a doormat...I intend to spend my second fifty years still being sweet...but "sweet with a backbone" if you get my meaning...I'm no longer going to excuse rude behavior just so as not to make waves...
Ladybug..you are so thoughtful to worry so about your brother's friend..I am sure being with you on Christmas will be such a blessing to him..
Chatty...how long ago did you make those extra sandwiches for your BIL? I'll bet just thinking about it today makes you wish you had told him to stop at Burger King on the way home as well!!!
There is just no excuse for anyone to arrive late to a planned meal...How Rude!!!!

Don't mean to belittle this post because I have to laugh. I just told family members who are typically late to be here 15 minutes earlier than everyone else. I think it's rude too. When people are late they are saying, "my time is more important than your's." That's selfish.

One friend used to pick me up for church and she was always 10 minutes late. She would usually say she was picking up at her house. How rude! She was obviously being passive aggressive.

This is a pet peeve of mine.

Daisygirl

That was my first husbands brother and his wife so it was in 1960. I haven't seen or heard from any of them since my husband passed away and don't ever care to either....