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#60119 - 12/30/04 04:47 AM Whiiiine
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
I just have to unload with a huge whine. And I am asking for prayer too. I am so sick of pain and I'm still having it. I can't take much more of this.
I thought the surgery was going to help and it did for a while until the femoral block wore off. I thouhgt it was just the post surgery pain. But I'm back to the nerve pain again. It's like a filling on a nerve. Just drives you insane. The pain pills help, but don't entirely relieve it. I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow. Maybe it's the cast.
I've been tough for twenty years and I don't want to upset those who love me, but it's just more than I can take. Sometimes I just have to cry quietly.
smile

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#60120 - 12/30/04 07:26 PM Re: Whiiiine
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
oh smile...this makes me so sad. Please let us know how you do at the doctors. I'm praying your pain can be relieved soon. Did they make any promises about the pain going away before they did surgery?

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#60121 - 12/31/04 08:04 AM Re: Whiiiine
Maggie Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/03
Posts: 765
Loc: Oregon
Smile,
Hope the doctor can help you tomorrow. Your on my prayer list.
Maggie

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#60122 - 12/30/04 09:47 PM Re: Whiiiine
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Thanks for the prayers. You guys are the BEST.
I went to the doctor this morning and got the cast cut off. Had to fight with them again, but I'm felling much better now. Fighting was probably therapeutic. Didn't bother me this time at all. I'm getting meaner by the day.

Dots, they didn't promise the pain would be relieved, but the leg bone at the point where it joins the ankle was about three times the normal size and was rubbing bone to bone against an ankle bone. Apparently it did not heal correctly from the accident. In surgery the doctor discovered that one of the tendons was twisted. Hopefully straightening the tendon will help with the pain though there are no guarantees and prayer is still the best treatment for just about anything.

Sorry for the whine. I'm fine now. Thankful for a place to whine and for boomer prayers. I'm pretty sure God has boomers on the Hot Line.
smile

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#60123 - 12/31/04 12:24 AM Re: Whiiiine
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
You deserve to whine as much as anyone in here. My heart goes out to you, dealing with all that pain.

I just sent full minute of prayer, and will be redoing throughout the day.

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#60124 - 12/31/04 03:57 AM Re: Whiiiine
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Thanks to all you wonderful women for listening, the good thoughts, and most of all the prayers.
I am much better tonight with a new cast. Still some pain, but nothing unbearable. Gee I hope this surgery ends the pain.
I keep remembering that physical pain ends never to be recalled. Those who experience emotional pain and loss hurt not only at the time, but for years.
smile

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#60125 - 01/01/05 11:32 PM Re: Whiiiine
Lynn Offline
Member

Registered: 06/26/03
Posts: 621
Loc: pennsylvania
Smile, It is just like you to think of others in worse pain than you.

I am so sorry for your bone pain. I know what that is because that is what John had been going through. Hard to watch also.

My prayers are with you and you whine as much as you need becuase as far as I can tell, you are way behind on the whining. You give so much to others that it will now come back to you.

I know you don't like to take the drugs but at least if will take the edge off the pain until the nerves settle down and the inflammation goes down.

Has the doc put you on steroids for inflammation?

Keep us posted.

Lynn

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#60126 - 01/02/05 01:26 AM Re: Whiiiine
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Lynn, I am so sorry for John's pain. I have been so intent on praying for his surival, I forgot to pray for his well being. I will definitely remember his pain in my prayers from now on.

I view pain as the enemy and whining reveals my weakest points. Also it draws those around you into the pain which only breaks their heart.
Not recognizing it is the best way I have found to conquer pain. If I can find something to enjoy or be excited about, I can almost always, at least for a moment, triumph over pain.
Sometimes though, especially late at night, you have to cry out and it's a great blessing to have a safe place to do it without rejection.
Also, I think everyone has a degree of pain in their life and I have so much to be thankful for that it is selfish to whine.
smile

P.S. I have had a lot of steroids and they really help. But they affect my thinking. Somehow suicide becomes such a reasonable solution, even for small problems.
A very strong friend with no previous emotional problems killed himself a couple of years ago while being treated with steroids. I am afraid of them. I would rather endure the physical pain than contend with the impaired thinking. (Most people do not have the type reaction that I, my friend, and several athletes have experienced, but it is good to be aware of them. I believe the possibility of a serious reactions incease with repeated use and since I've had one bad reaction (No attempts, but definite suicidal thoughts) I am afraid of them.)

[ January 01, 2005, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

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#60127 - 01/03/05 01:51 AM Re: Whiiiine
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Smile, it must have been the drugs because you are the last person I would think might have suicidal thoughts. Good for you to recognize what the cause was and continue to say no.

Keeping busy and trying in some small way to reach out to others is often the only way to get our mind off ourselves when living in pain.

I do believe there comes a time after living with pain too long that it might be good to give in to an anti-depressant. It's not good to get so far down that you have a hard time getting back up again. When most medications are prescribed appropriately they can help us.

Smile, remember this is only a stage in your life. This too shall pass. Until, feel free to come and whine with us.

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#60128 - 01/03/05 05:55 AM Re: Whiiiine
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Thank you Dotsie. The suicidal thoughts were accompanied by strange out of body experiences. I could "see" myself doing things from outside my body. I was young and it was terrifying. But it made me know that something was wrong. Thankfully my doctor was a wise older guy who had another patient who had similar experiences and he took me off the steroids immediately. Soon thereafter my mind cleared. (Improved brain testing is now showing physiological basis for changes in mental outlook in some people as a result of taking steroids.)

You are so right about keeping busy. Seems to me that it's the cure for a lot of things. And helping others is beneficial, not only spiritually and mentally, but physically. It certainly seems to relieve pain.

I periodically experieince depression as a result of being in this cast, confined to the house with one leg up in the air--Oh lordy, not a pretty sight--and so inactive.
I didn't really understand what I was getting myself into. But I know this is situational and when the situation changes, so will my outlook (A little whining helps too:)).
I really believe that anti-depressants are great for clinical depression, but they have too many side effects (One of which is suicidal/homicidal thoughts) for situational depression.

I'm not kinky or anything, but I wonder if I have become too well adapted to pain. When the surgeon said he could possibly relieve my arthritis (which is not all that bad anyway), it almost felt like I was losing a friend. I know that's nuts, but it's true. Even when I was young, I figured everyone lives with some degree of pain and I just made friends with it.
In many ways it helped me. I learned early that smiling, working, and doing things for others actually relieves pain. The challenge of it inspired me in some weird way too. Only recently, it became unbearable. But it's better today and I will find my way past it. I have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. Like you said, this is just a stage. And like about everything in life, it's temporary.

Thanks for reminding me of that. How on earth would I ever cope without this site??
smile
Now if only I can keep from gaining a hundred pounds. Dan is doing most of the cooking and he's has no concept of calories. But...

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