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#59671 - 03/12/06 09:02 AM
Re: Why do people do this?
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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Well, I'm with you Dianne.
It's hurtful. Very hurtful. and these people are insensitive. I'm pretty sad that these people didn't identify you as a family member. I've been through this too. And it's a pretty painful exprerience......When my parens died, my siblings got most of the cards, etc. I can only figure that they were the ones inovolved in the burial rites.....I had to be involved in Nichole's illness at the time..... This is still a sadness......
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#59674 - 03/12/06 10:32 PM
Re: Why do people do this?
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Member
Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
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I don't know why people are so insensitive when it comes to doing things like that, but they are and will, I fear, continue to be. I truly don't remember if this sort of thing happened after Chuck lost his father.
I DO know that my mother insisted we be listed as "her beloved children Jacquleine and Charles" and the same for my brother and his wife. We were all unbelievably touched. The funeral director said he's never had anyone do that before. I thought it was beautiful.
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#59675 - 03/15/06 10:35 PM
Re: Why do people do this?
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Member
Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
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Dianne, I'm truly sorry for your loss. Our in laws become as much a part of our lives as our own parents. Sometimes we share special interests and memories the natural child can't or won't. Our relationship with them is specail because of that.
When my husband passed away, his ex-wife (whom he said he left because she was boring) called the funeral home and ordered the exact same floral arrangement that I selected to be placed by my husband's casket. So there was one from me and one from her on either side.
Then she wrote an article about him which was published in the paper in Omaha, NE where the two of them had lived listing herself as a survivor right along with me and his mother, brothers and sister.
Then she held a memorial service for him in Omaha and invited all their mutual friends to attend. Oh, and by the way, you can attend if you want to, to me....
I have never been so angry or hurt in my life. I emailed her but her reply was nasty and she accused me of being unreasonable.
Even though John was no longer with us and didn't know the difference anyway, still it was me she hurt and made me feel that my simple funeral for my husband which was filled with little things of his and song we both loved and memories we shared, was small and inadequate.
Still having a hard time with it.
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