I have been in this bad relationship for 2 1/2 yrs and I dont know how to end it. From things that happened in the past, there is now so much anger on both are parts.
Recently I have turned to God for my answers and have found so much peace and he resents my happiness. He keeps trying to make me angry, he is not happy for me in any sense.
So why do I not just walk away?? I feel like a stupid fool , why am I torturing myself ?
I am seeing a psychologist and he says that I do love him but I dont like him. So what do I do?
I do resent when he constantly tries to upset me by saying mean things, in the past I would have been shouting, now I say well I am sorry you are not happy for me. But inside my stomach is in knots...any suggestions???

Pink: wow. Very sorry to hear about your pain and struggles.

It is good for you that you have found solace in faith and also have taken the steps to secure counseling. You are certainly no mere whiner, but a self-advocate and that strength will surely see you through.

I think there are a lot of elements that go into a consideration like staying/walking away from any relationship, not the least of which are the less "heart-felt" and more on the practical end:

are you financially independent?
are there children from this relationship?
are you married/co-habitating?

depending on your answers to some of those questions (you don't have to answer them -- they were just for your own consideration) your decision about what to do may vary.

You could ask the fella if he'll go into joint (or his own) counseling. In the end, if both individuals (one is not enough) aren't committed to saving a relationship then there is no relationship, anyway. Not really. At least not one that is likely to help either party be nurtured and to grow spiritually.

Wounds take time to heal and old ones don't have much of a chance to mend if new ones are being inflicted daily. A little time and space, maybe?

Again, I don't know what your "level" of material entanglement is.

In any event, I'm sure you'll get some worthwhile thoughts from the ladies here. There is much heart here.

I wish you the best and encourage you to believe that the right solution already lies within you. I wager you will unfold it and discover what it is as you continue to wrestle with you dilemma.

Thanks Garrie for your encouraging words!
He was at one point living with me, he moved out around May at my suggestion, all we did was fight.
We dont have any children together, actually nothing that ties us together. I am however very fond of his children, I love them as they are my own but that is not enough to stay together.
He is the kind of person that everything is someone else's fault, he is a big child, temper tantrums included when people dont do or act the way HE thinks they should. Alot of poor mes.
I dont understand why it is so difficult to let go, just walk away.
My friends tell me all the time why do you stay with him, you could do better. And I say I guess I am just stupid, and I feel like that alot of times. Especially when I allow him to hurt my feelings.
Well hopefully between counseling and God I will find the strengthen to make to the right and final decision.
Thank you again for you wonderful advise!

PP, (that doesn't sound right ), anyway, thanks so much for coming here and using us as a sounding board. It often helps to gather thoughts from people who don't know the person who is being hurtful because all we know is what you tell us. Sometimes when words are typed on a pc they come through loud and clear to others ...and are made clearer to ourselves while typing. I know I've had my share of revelations while sharing in here.

Anyway, I agree with everything Garrie said. It appears to me that you are on the right track by simply searching and talking about this with friends, counselor, and God. You have made yourself AWARE and that is good. Have faith that He will guide you. Take time to hunker down and listen for His truth for you. He loves you and wants what's best for you.

You mentioned that you don't know why you stay. Well, change is hard and all of us stay with one thing/person/situation, or another in our lives for longer than need be. Sometimes we stay because we are afraid of change and what may happen when there's an emptiness. If you are thinking about a change then you will work at filling that emptiness in one way or another. I am not saying you should leave, but from the sounds of it, you are leaning in that direction...just my perception.

I empathize with you because I love kids too, and it sounds like you don't want to leave them. Please know you are on my prayer list now and I lift up the people on that daily. Hope this helps!

i'm going to be very blunt here -- so please take it as loving bluntness and NOT as criticism -- just my two cents worth

life's too short to be unhappy !!!

you're only stupid if you feel you are -- and if you feel you are -- then change what makes you feel that way

don't use the kids as an excuse to be abused -- they can still call you -- visit you -- write to you -- share holidays with you -- just like you could if you were married with children and got a divorce -- leaving him has nothing to do with leaving them and LET THEM KNOW THAT

no one is going to tell you anything you don't already know -- and getting "permission" from others to do what you know you should have done long ago isn't going to do it either -- until you KNOW in your heart what the Lord already knows -- YOU ARE WORTHY -- there is nothing that will convince you to move on --

so come vent in the forum with family -- and believe me when i say THESE LADIES will make you feel worthy very soon -- and when they've got you to the point of looking in the mirror and saying -- Hey !!! I deserve better than this !! you'll know what's best for YOU

Thanks so much for all the wonderful advise and your prayers, Dotsie and Garrie!
Everything you both say is true, it is very hard to leave a relationship because I find myself wondering if I will find someone even worse. That is just my luck usually but that was then and I have a better outlook now with Gods help I will find true happiness.

Thanks again!!!

Hi, Pink! I'm entering the conversation a little late, sorry about that...I'm thinking that if the main reason you are sticking aroundhim is because you are fond of his kids.... perhaps you and the man could agree to break up as lovers and agree to be just friends.... sometimes that works, and you can still be friends with his kids. I hope this is helpful....
Hugs,
Lil