Hi everyone,

My brother needs prayers!
He called me last night just heartbroken.

He has a bird that he has had for 2 months - you know how it is - she was part of the family. Would give him "kisses" ride along on his shoulder, the whole 9 yards.

Last night he found her dead underneath a pillow. My brother's girlfriends 3 yr old had either hit it with a pillow - or smothered it. He doesn't know which.

The 3 yr old is precious. Very smart - but has been through alot in her short 3 yrs.

He is angry, disappointed, and wants her to take responsiblity. I told him gently that she is only 3 ....and that I think he is asking for too much.

I also told him that the little girl is more important then the bird - and that he just needs to lover her up. We all know that when you have children in a home - things get broken. And what is more important - the vase your grandmother gave you - or the child? (I'm NOT advocating abusing animals - I love them too!)

If anyone has a good resource for him - about what to expect from a 3 yr old - I would appreciate it. He is new to the "parenting" thing - and I think needs some input!

I DID sympathize with him - and encouraged him to have a good cry -- but maybe I'm wrong, the little girl needs him to "reconnect" with her - not be "disassociated" from her!

Thank you for praying -- these are not little things -- as you know, these are big things that build in our soul and need to be looked at objectively.

danita

p.s. I also indicated to him that him and his girlfriend need to be keeping a closer eye on the little one. It is their responsiblity to keep her safe and out of trouble!

Danita: I'll be praying for your brother and his heartache. It's terrible to lose a pet.

As for the adults being responsible for keeping an eye at her and keeping her safe, you're absolutely right!

The girl needs to understand that what she did is wrong. Her action must have a consequence that will help her learn, but that will not harm her in any way. I believe it is best if he and her mother talk about it and decide together what the best course of action should be.

And... be aware! Kids need 24/7 supervision.
Have a good day!

Danita,
The child is the important one here. This could be an extremely traumatic event if handled improperly.

The bird is gone. Your son and his girlfriend, being adults should focus on preventing any future damage to the three year old.

At the age of three she may have been loving the bird by placing it under her pillow or something, but she is not old enough to be held responsible for its death.

She certainly needs to learn that such actions can be dangerous, but care should be taken that she not feel guilty or identify herself as a killer of this precious pet.

Just my take.
smile

Danita, My prayers for all. Three year olds don't normally harbour the desire to kill anything. You said she has been through a lot for a three year old, God bless her. Has your brother mentioned how he wants her to take responsibility?
Being new to parenting, ( how old is your brother? )he needs all the help he can get. Glad you are doing what you can for them.
chick

Thank you so much everyone for the input - it was good to hear that I was not alone in my thought process.

I talked to him again last night (he is 42 - never had children with his first wife)...he couldn't say much because peanut (that's what we affectionately call her) was right there.

He said she said she was "mad and was trying to kill it"....I said, "what does a 3 yr old know about killing and something being "REALLY" dead".
He agreed. (kids say things they don't even know what they mean).

I think they are indiscrimante about what they watch on t.v. around her -- and that could be an issue also. I will eventually bring that up as well.

It's been a loooong time since I had little ones - but teenagers and 3 yr olds are pretty simular (lol).

Thanks for praying ladies. You know there is a fine line between my overstepping a boundry and helping. I am diplomatic about how I say things - and he is receiving it.

danita

Danita, I am especailly praying for "peanut". God love her. Maybe we need to speakermom in here. I bet she has some wise advice.