'Raising kids is a scarey endevor', that is certainly the truth Danita, and it goes to the next generation when our grandchildren have lived with us for whatever reason. It helps me when worrying and fear is too big, and i cant do anything more to protect them, to ask God..... 'please just keep two large angels around them and protect them, because i cant'.

Flipper,

We live in Colorado, and her (ahem) Fianceeeee (or however you spell THAT word. lol) lives in Maryland.

She wanted to leave a year ago - it was when she went through her "Bad time".....she could have ended up a run-away...I just asked her to give me one more year with her. She honored my wish.

So, anywho....I'm leaving it in God's hands. We have a very good family life, our home is peaceful. She isn't leaving us, she just wants to be home (in MD).

When Bre (my DD) had her situation, I would have "mommy thereapy" with her. I would just hold her in my arms and love on her. She said it made all the difference in the world.


danita

[ November 12, 2005, 09:23 AM: Message edited by: Danita ]

Norma, I pray for the health and safety of my kids every day. I pray the Prayer of Jabez for all of us.

Danita, what a blessing that she would let you do that! You are one wise woman.

Once when my daughter was angry with me (she's adopted) said that she wishes she was adopted by another family. I can relate. I told her that when I was a kid I told my mom I wished I had been adopted! I don't take offense. It's all a stage! I no more wish I was raied in another family than the man in the moon!

Wisdom comes with age and experience.

[ November 11, 2005, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

danita, please go back to my post of 11-07 about my daughter - i know it is easy to get mixed up with what you've read from whom in these threads - they get kind of tangled now and then.

your daughter is a very lucky girl and has a wise and loving mom. it is so hard to know what to do when our kids want to fly before we think they are ready.

my oldest boy wanted to elope when a soph. in high school. we got them to wait and they did get married when he was 21. we were so relieved and put on a big splash of a wedding. DIL is a blessing to our family and they have blessed us with our first grandchild, a little girl who is now 9 mo. old. i get to be her day care granny so am having a great time with her.

my 22 yr. old son is downstairs with his girlfriend right now. i really like her but they haven't been going out very long and am hoping they don't try to do the overnight thing here already. we didn't KNOWINGLY let his brother his lady sleep together here and i was hoping this one wouldn't challenge us on it.

i know they will do what they want to but i don't feel we have to provide the place. on the other hand, if the worst thing a kid does anymore is sleep with their future mate, i guess we should consider ourselves lucky. i wonder sometimes if we relax our standards through rationalization or for genuine changes in our attitudes.

i'm tired and talking myself into a corner so better quit and go to bed.

Flipperjo,

I am soooo sorry for the mistake. Talk about losing your mind! I DID have you mixed up with the poster who had just brought her daughter home from the hospital.

Great story about your oldest....there is hope!

danita

Flipper, they can and will do what they want. We can talk until we're blue in the face about saving one self for marriage. But we have no control. However, we're not going to make it easier for them by knowingly allowing it in our home.

Flipper, I'm so glad your son listened. That would have been a few tough years for all of you. Don't you think?

yes, it would have been rougher than it already was. the kids had been going steady for about 6 mo. when the accident happened and our daughter was killed. that night, it was like son and his girlfriend became superglued together. he asked me if he could get married the day he got out of the hospital. i tried to tell him this was not the time but they just wanted to be together all the time. we didn't know what to do because we knew they needed each other but we didn't want to deal with a high school pregnancy on top of everything else we were dealing with.

they bought an engagement ring and made a plan to elope. luckily, they were young and dumb enough not to keep it a secret at school and we found out about it. thank God we managed to stop them.

i have to give DIL a lot of credit, though. she was my son's rock as he grieved for his sister. even his therapist told me that sunshine (my nickname for my son) was doing his biggest grief work with her. she showed a lot of guts for a 16 year old girl. she stuck in there with him and is a joy for him and our family.

Wow flipper. What a powerful story.

d.

flipper, I love stories aout how 16 year olds making a difference. Teens often get such a bad rap. Mind me asking how long your son was in the hospital after the accident? My gracious. You had a lot on you.

sunshine and my younger son wade were both in the accident. sunshine had a small crack in the back of his heel. wade had no broken bones, lots of bruising. he still has chronic back pain where the worst bruising was. they were both in icu for the first night and in a regular room for a second. only one needed the second night but we opted to keep them both there so they'd be together.

it was an awful time. i stayed at the hospital with the boys while dh had to be home because we were milking 100 cows at the time. family and friends gathered and helped with everything but we were so numb, everything just seemed to float around us.

jenny stayed with sunshine the whole time in the hospital and for several days after we got home. and you are right about the bad rap teens get. we saw how compassionate and loving they are when given the chance.

sunshine and missi went to a catholic hs. for 2 years after the accident, missi's classmates and friends had a special memorial service for her at school on the anniversary of the accident. we also hosted all of them who wanted to be here on her birthday (dec. 30) and served sloppy jos and birthday cake every year till they graduated and scattered to go to school and get married, etc. whenever i see any of them now, they have a big hug and lots of chat for me. i don't know what we'd have done without them.