I would loooveee to hear everyones' most embarrasing moments! I think it is fun to look back and laugh!

My most embarrasing moment wasn't very funny. Really.

I worked at a camp in the colorado mountains - and one day - I was walking to camp registration with a mom and her two girls.

The girls had faces like angels. I mean it. I kept looking back and forth between the two - just taken by them.

Finally, I look at the older one and said (because they both looked so much alike), "Oh, look, you have a "mini-me"

As soon as those words escaped my lips, I looked closer at the smaller of the two, and noticed for the first time that she was a "little person".

I would have liked to have died on the spot!

(those who haven't seen Austin Powers -- Dr.Evil had a "mini-me" (midget look alike) called "mini-me".

The "little person" was about 6 -- and so full of life. I cried myself to sleep that night!

Danita

I'm sitting here wondering if I dare post my most embarassing moment in a public forum...They don't call me the Queen of Experiences for nothing...

Let me think on it. Lord, I have so many to chose from...but the single, most embarassing one...that would have to involve Exlax, a State Softball tournament, and me.

JJ

I don't know if this qualifies as being embarassed or being mortifeid. I was in a public office with my then new husband. The woman knew me and knew I had two big sons, right? I am trying to make a good impression on him as we were newly weds and he was 6 years younger than I. Anyway she comes walking up all smiles and says "hello dear lady and this must be your son." I said "nope, its my new baby husband." The entire room stopped moving and she tried laughng and so did I and she finally skulked away. I wanted to die....

I was 17 years old and had won the title of Miss Yavapai County, competing for Miss Arizona. Did my interview in a room with judges, walked away and opened the closet door instead of the door leading out of the room. Bad thing was, it was kind of stuck and I had to fight to get it open. The judges sat and stared at me and naturally, I didn't win that competition!

Mine happened about 25 years ago. My room-mate (and co-worker) and I decided to eat out at a restaurant before heading to a prayer meeting that evening after work. Being in the music ministry, I had my guitar with me, and set it down beside the booth in the restaurant. After we were finished, we both got up to leave and I tripped over my guitar case and landed flat on my face on the floor. The restaurant was packed. Thankfully I had a great sense of humour back then and we were both able to just walk proudly out of the restaurant - and then we doubled over with laughter out on the sidewalk.

Those were great! Just what I need in the a.m., a good chukle at someone elses' expense!

J.J., it was your website that inspired me. You asked a question (I can't remember what it was)..and I was thinking...embarassing moments would be fun!

Danita

My most embarrassing moment? I guess it had to be when I was sixteen. I was going away with my debate team to state championships. Lucky me, I started my period for the very first time right before we were to get on the van.

I hurried to the bathroom, but didn't have any sanitary supplies. I girl came in with me and had a tampon. Now, I'd never seen a tampon in my life and didn't know how to use it, but I answered "yes, of course" when she handed it to me and asked if I knew how to use it.

All the way to the championships, I was painfully aware of this tampon and when we arrived, there was a large pool of blood on the seat and across the back of my skirt.

Discarding the misused tampon, I wadded up toilet paper into my underwear, tried to rinse out my skirt, but nothing worked. The stain remained. Without any time to change, my debate team was sent to our rooms to begin our challenges. I was mortified. I walked in such a way to hide most of the stain and while I was on stage I don't think it could be seen. Instead of turning to go back to my seat, I would walk backwards.

Imagine my surprise that even with all those distractions our team won! Once we arrived at our sponsor's home she was nice enough to point me to a box of sanitary pads and I was saved. No one teased me about the situation and I only got a ruined skirt out of the process.

Thank you Danita...

Okay...here's one. Apparently one night when I undressed from work, I pulled off my skirt and panty hose at the same time, and I didn't notice when I hung up the skirt that the panty hose were clinging to the inside of the skirt.

Fast forward to the next week.

I work directly for the Vice President...I'm wearing the skirt again but had on a fresh new pair of panty hose with it, because I couldn't find the old ones. You with me so far?

Okay, I'm standing at the copier machine looking over some of his documents. He rushes out and standing beside me starts to bark out some more of his "I gotta have" stuff...as he starts to open his mouth, my "OLD" panty hose fall out from under the skirt and land on his shoes. We both look down at the same time.

I'm thinking, "so there you are!" He says, "How the hell did you do that?" He thought it was the pair I had on....what a schmuck. I just smiled and said, "Now that I have your attention, how many copies of this do you want?"

So many embarassing moments...so little time.

JJ

You know there's a website looking for your embarrassing moments to be included in an anthology. They pay $200.00. Its called
Splitmyside.com. I don't know anything about them but maybe it's worth checking out.

J.J.....OMG! what a hoot. and you handled it sooo gracefully!

vicki, where did you go to school? I feel like I've heard that story before!

Danita

p.s. I litterally get a "mental block" when it comes to remembering my "most embarrasing moments". The one I shared just haunts me - so I haven't been able to "not remember" it!

Oh my there are three that I never got over.

The first one is I was presenting an award for soldier of the month at Fort Greeley. I am painfully shy and I sat in my seat waiting for my name to be announced so I could run up, give the award, and slink back into my seat. Anyway, the master sgt said "Alaska Federal Credit Union" I ran up, shook the G.I.'s hand, made my pathetic speech and ran back to my seat. The problem? The announcement was for a different credit union (I worked for Alaska USA Federal Credit Union). Everyone stared at me (they knew I worked for the other) and the master sgt. said, "Alrighty" and gave me the sweetest smile.

One day I wore a black shoe and a navy blue shoe to the office. (They were the same style) I noticed it when I sat at my desk. I beat everyone to the punch by asking which color they thought went best with my outfit.

And the worst, I had my very first hot flash, while wearing a turtle neck and holed up in an conference room with 50 male stock brokers. I was almost purple from the flash, I was so hot.

Sorry to hog the board but this is the first time I have been able to purge this embarrassment. Thanks Danita and so sorry for your moment.

[ April 20, 2005, 02:56 PM: Message edited by: Jersey Girl ]

JJ you experienced my worse fear. Though a pair of stowaway underwear nearly made it to the office once.

(Why is underwear referred to as a pair, when it is a single item?)

Hey good question. And why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Okay...second scenario...was around 16-17 and riding with the love of my life (for that month) in his '57 Chevy on the way to meet his parents for the first time. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I got.

Queen Jaw Jaw Fact: When da Queen gets nervous, she ahhhh....builds up....ahhhh....oh let's call it air, shall we?

Okay, back to the ride...Air has to go somewhere, right? This was the dead of winter and I kept lowering my car window. Finally he said shivering, "Aren't you cold with that window down?" I said very stupidly, "why no, I'm hot-blooded." He just said, "Hmm." But he let it go. He lived at the top of a mountain. Climbing the road, I could feel the "air" building to a crecendo, k? But somehow I managed to ahhh...well, I controlled myself.

We arrived at his Momma's and Daddy's house, he comes around and opens my door. We approach the house and dear old Mom and Dad must have been watching thru the window because here is what happened next.

As I walked to the front door, his Daddy slung open the door and at the same time threw out his hand to shake mine...all in one swift motion. He opened the door so quickly it startled me because I wasn't expecting anyone to do that.

I jumped back and Steve (my love) caught me and then....he made the fatal mistake of patting me on the lower part of my back and saying, "go ahead, go in" ALL OF THIS HAPPENING AT THE SAME EXACT MOMENT.

Call it the SHOT HEARD AROUND THE MOUNTAIN...

All I can say is that his Daddy jerked his hand back like someone had tried to chopped it off. I was mortified. I stood there, Steve (looking around the porch like "what the H was that noise?") stood there, and dear old Dad kept his composure for a second or two and then between giggles disguised as a cough, said, "Ah cough..cough...haha..ahem..want you come...cough...cough...come...cough...teeh..cough...in?"

We didn't stay long. We didn't go parking afterwards either. I never could figure out why....hmmm

JJ

I have my husband convinced that women do not get air.

You must have been mortified but you did have good timing. LOL

Danita, I went to school in Michigan. Yikes, has my incident become immortal? The debate championships were for the state, or a tri-state area. Don't remember now. But, there was a lot of people around.

[ April 20, 2005, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: Vicki M. Taylor ]

vicki,

I graduated from a little town in Wyoming. I was on the speech team also!

I seriously doubt our paths crossed - though your tale (excuse the pun) is probably a classic one -- that has happened generation after generation.

How funny! God bless you child!

I started my first period in jail. Yup, you heard me right. Jail. I was in the holding cell at the Sheriff's office for shoplifting.

And, to top off the embarassament of being caught (and I EVEN had money in my pocket)..my father WORKED for the sherif's department.

I'll never forget my mother sobbing, "what did I do to raise you this way"....etc, etc, etc (you know the catholic guilt trip!) ha!

J.G. - isn't confession good for the soul!

J.J. - had me ROTFL! OMG! Talk about timing!

Danita

I'll have to relax my brain cells to find the "embarrasing moments" that I know are burried deep within!

Thanks for sharing ladies!

I needed this laugh. Good for the soul.

Okay...one last one...I just can't part with the exLAX story right now...so this one will have to do.

I was married and my hubby had a demanding boss. Just when you thought it was safe to breathe, this jerk could call the house and always huffing and puffing wanting my hubby to hurry up and get to the phone. Well, I was no UNimpressed with him that I didn't give him much concerned.

He called one day though when for a change, I was in a huff and trying desperately to get to the grocery store (a new one) before they closed.

He said, "Hey there...is Dave around? I need to---" before he could start his spill, I said, hold on, I'll get him, sorry...but I'm in a rush to go to the pubic store." Dead silence....I was annoyed. I said, LOUDER, "Did you hear me? I've got to run to the Pubic store and he's outside, so hold on, okay?"....I hear snickering...then chuckling...then between the heehawing he managed, "yeah...hahaha...yeah..fine...teehee. Oh heck, just tell him hahahah...to call me here....wahhhooooo....at the office." He hung up.

It hit me. I had said "pubic" instead of PUBLIX which was the name of the new grocery store. Now why the devil did they put a X on the end of the store's name anyway? It threw me off every time!

Anyway, I refused to go out to eat with his boss for a long time. Good grief...

JJ

Ha ha ha, what fun I'm having reading these.

Many, many years ago, my friend and I were at a night-club. She nudged me and said "see that guy, don't look now, but he's looking this way...Oh, he's coming to ask you to dance." Well I looked up and he was gesturing to me with his hand and mouthing, "would you like to dance?" I smiled, nodded yes, and got up and followed him to the dance floor. I was dancing and really gettin down, if you know what I mean, eyes half closed, arms flailing, singing to the top of my lungs... Hey, it was a fast dance. Through the corner of one half opened eye, I noticed a girl to my left. I almost hit her in the mouth with my dance moves. I gave her a quick smile and was just getting into the groove again when I noticed...she was dancing with him. I got a little territorial, but when I moved, she moved and then he moved. Huh...wazzup,I wondered. Over the noise of blaring music I yelled, "WHO DID YOU ASK TO DANCE?" He pointed to the girl on my left. I smiled and said, Hah...ah..Sorry, and graciously slithered off the dance-floor.

chick

and the winner is.....CHICK....omg!

I second the motion!

D.

Okay, I have far too many embarrassing moments, but I keep thinking of my cousin.
When we were teens, I loved the roller rink. She had a crush on this guy there, but had never skated so she came with me so she could meet him.
she wore a cute skate skirt and while still learning she was skating along behind him. I guess she got distractred by his nice behind and suddenly she was falling forward.
In a desperate effort to break her fall, she somehow got her hands into the back pockets of his jeans which were soon around his ankles.
They wound up in the floor with his jeans around his ankles and her skirt over her head.
I'm telling you it was hilarious. She was always doing something like that.
All I gotta' say is, thank heaven it wasn't me. Of course I had a lot of bloopers too, but I'm not fessing up yet.
smile

[ April 20, 2005, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

How about being all dressed up in a fire engine red dress with clevage down to your waist, rhinestones bordering the shoulders, a big ruffle on the bottom and looking real good, then leaving the ladies room with your pantyhose tucked into the back of your slutty new dress?

The second time I had that happen, I was putting something into the trunk of my car (the back of which faced the street). Different dress.

Louisa

okay, I take it back. It's a tie between Chick, SMILES'S cousin (omg!), AND Louisa. TWICE? You did that twice? What's the chances of that happening to someone twice? you poor thing!

JJ

I know they say the third times a charm, but I'd just as soon not find out if that's true. Louisa

Okay - many years (eons) ago, I worked in another state for an attorney who was blunt. We had new clients who raised smelly farm animals and whose last name was Horr. So - As I'm about to bring a new client into his office, he shouts out, "What time's the stinking Horr's supposed to be here." I shuffled around for a minute (mind you, I'm 18 at the time; and finally turned to the new client and said, "It's the punch line from a joke he couldn't remember earlier."

#2
I'm a grant writer. My first multi-million dollar grant application, which was the 3rd highest rated in the country, and which was chosen as a sample by the federal government, and which had been proofread at least 15 times by 8 different people, contained the phrase:
"...a nutritious snatch will be served to the afterschool students."

We didn't discover the error until AFTER all of the above, and we had to call the top lady and ask her to please correct the phrase.

I don't think I'll ever forget those two incidents, and #2 is why I always say NEVER rely on spell-check!

This was just toooo funny, Dian.

Hey, I'm impressed with your grant writing by the way.

chick

You guys have had me in stitches here!!! Thanks for the guffaws!

It was my cousin's wedding. I was 17. I had one of those poofy curly hair attachments bobby-pinned to my head. I was out in the middle of the dance floor having a great time and dancing with Dad when I shook my head to the music and my hairpiece flew across the room.

I calmly walked over to the errant curls, picked them off the floor, and handed the hairpiece to Mom who was doubling over with laughter on the sidelines. Then I resumed dancing with Dad.

Afterwards everyone said how well I handled it.

I'm seeing a book here...

JJ

Jawjaw, I thought the same thing!

I was reading this thread yesterday and guffawing like a nut. My son was within ear shot and said, "Mom, are you crying out there? Is everything okay?"

Then I wrote a reply and somehow lost it. So I'm back... laughing again.

I was the Coordinator fo Member Care at our church. Sorta a Den Mother for the congregation. I was in charge of membership, assimilating members, hospital visitation, shuts-ins, the whole nine yards. I was supposedly a part of the compassionate arm of the church.

One Sunday morning while greeting I said to a member, "Wow, you look great. When are you due?" She quickly replied, "I'm not pregnant!"

So much for compassion. I wanted to crawl in the broom closet.

Oh Dotsie!

I've never heard the word "guffawing"...it must be a writer's thing.

I can so relate to your above embarrasing moment.

My husband was in real estate and did that to a woman. I'm like, "honey, YOU NEVER ask a woman when she is due"...you say something like, "are you two planning on having childen"..

So my faux pas, has been to ask two "older women" who were visiting my Arbonne booth at a craft fair, "is this your mother". ughhhhhhhhh
Hard to back peddle from there!

I now say things like, are you two sisters? (can't lose).

So, recently, I was at another event, and I WAS SURE the lady was preganant. I was 100% sure. And she had said something about babies...AND she was wearing a loose blouse -- so, I asked her WITH CONFIDENCE, "when's your baby due"...and you know the rest of the story.

I would have liked to have crawled into a hole.

UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Danita

Oh my Dotsie. LOL

JJ, this could be a book

Oh I can splain that one Danita...

Hehawing is when you laugh and sound like a mule OR a jack as_ OR a man...same thing.

Guffawing is when you laugh but then you cry cause you want to be on the gulf instead of working...

Glad I could help....JJ

JJ,

You are ONE IN A MILLION! but you know that!


danita

This is one of my many embarrassing moments. I also a web site and this one is on my site under Life's Most Embarrasing Moments.

A Night at the Hilton


My husband and I were at the Hilton in Huntsville, Alabama. We were in town for business purposes.

That evening while we were asleep, I woke up sweating. (I had a hysterectomy a few months earlier and was having what my cousin Diane calls a senior moment). Being all sweaty and uncomfortable, I took off my gown. So, needless to say I was sleeping in the nude.

The room was pitch black. Sometime later, I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. I did not want to turn on the lights and disturb my husband. So, I got up in a sleepy stupor and went to what I thought was the bathroom.
I went in and closed the door.

I gasped when I looked around. I was in the hotel hallway. I crouched to the floor and covered what body parts I could with my hands (where is a plant or a newspaper when you need one). I started beating on the door and asking my husband to let me in.

My husband is hearing imparied. He thought I was laying next to him and asking him to get the door. He said "You get the door". Needless to say, with this reply, I had a few choice words to say. Thank goodness, he realized I was not in the bed and got up and let me in.

I was so embarrassed the next day. I was sure someone saw me. I was afraid to leave through the lobby. I had my husband check us out and have the car in the front. I took a garment bag and held it up against my head as I was leaving. (Like this didn't look suspicious).

Moral to the story: At strange places, always leave the light on in the bathroom with the door partially open and most importanly DON'T shut the door.

Theresa Adams
Womens Funny Pages
Funny videos, jokes, pictures, inspirational

-------------------------
http://www.womensfunnyvideos.com

Theresa,

That is halarious! (sp?)

Talk about ones' worst nightmare!

d.

No comedian could even write a skit this funny.

Good thing it was just the Hilton cause seeing a naked woman in the hallways there is no biggy, any on looker would probably just think to themself, Oh, it's just one of the Hilton women...

[ July 16, 2005, 11:20 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Boy Chatty I never thought about the Hilton's tell you mentioned it. Of course this was before they were so popular. I quess I am just old news and it is now OK to let the news out about my episode. I quess you could say I was the first desperate housewife being naked and looking for a tree to hide behind.

--------------------
www.womensfunnyvideos.com

Theresa, That's hilarious. Made me laugh uncontrollably. Have you read JJ's book yet? It'll make you laugh out loud til you wet your pants. She should be the spokesperson for DEPENDS!
smile

Oh my goodness@! I laughed uncontollably as I visualized this! You're absolutely right too Chatty! Jeeze, what a way to end a good nights sleep! Did you ever go back to sleep? Did your husband laugh at you all night long or just part of the night?

http://www.toilette-humor.com/cartoon.html

Thought you'd get a kick out of this and aren't offended.

Dianne,

"Thought you'd get a kick out of this and aren't offended."

What were you thinking? A KICK out of this? NO, it was a gas!!!!!!

lmao,
d.

Some things are just funny, no time to be embarrassed while cracking up is there?

You won't believe what happened to me yesterday. I'm in this little boutique, trying to fit my big butt into a pair of pants and sweating in the little fitting room and in walks a film crew with Tanya Tucker. Seems she's going to have her own reality show in the Fall. I normally walk around that store with my pants unzipped while checking out other clothes but kind of hard to do with a bunch of men, carrying cameras. So, I stayed in the fitting room, sweating like a pig and just kept trying on different pants. All of my make up ran off my face.

They were filming her shopping with her 16 year old daughter. I had to finally leave and they actually made me sign a release just in case my face was caught on camera while walking out.

Who put that picture in here? I can't wait to show my kids and hubby. We love potty humor.

Dianne, where were you shopping? I love your description of yourself trying on pants. ISn't life grand?

What's the name of the show so we can be sure to look for your sweaty self?

[ July 20, 2005, 11:11 AM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

I'm the guilty one. I put it here.

I was shopping in this cute little boutique called Valarie's.

Have no idea what the name of the show is but it's supposed to be on the TLC channel. Tanya had a make up artist to fix her sweaty self and I just had to suffer. Ain't fair. Did find a cute pair of pants tho!

The rest of the story: Tanya and the crew stayed at the shop until 8 PM and then, all had a beer and some cigs outside the shop afterward. (Better than other times where Tanya went to the back of Valarie's store and smoked there!). I guess reality shows don't like to see stars actually paying for clothes so they set aside $1,700 worth of clothing and said they'd come back the next day and pay for them. Never showed. Valarie won't take checks from Tanya anymore (no comment) and I guess she didn't want to flip out a credit card. However, this is great publicity for Valarie so not a wash out.

This is in response to Theresa...the one who got locked out of her hotel room thinking it was the bathroom...talk about hysterical...I'm still laughing...I think I would have zipped myself inside the garment bag and had my husband roll me out to the car on one of those luggage rollum thingies...thanks for the chuckle.

Many years ago...we were staying in a hotel with a band we were friends with. I got a call at 4am that nobody picked up 2 of the guys in the band..

Their rooms was across from mine, with the tv blasting. I got out of bed & went across the hallway. As I walked out of the room, the drummer saw me & thought I was sleep walking! He took me back to my room & put me back into bed!!! Of course I let him!!!

Has anyone ever found that their skirt got tucked into the back of their "all in one" (no panties required) panty hose? I worked for a very busy credit union....my back was to the main entrance where hundreds waited to enter....some kind soul kept banging on the door and pointing....I grouchily looked at my watch and mouthed "we open in 5 minutes" and turned my back. The banging persisted. I went and opened the door at the scheduled time, annoyed by the impatient customers until one elderly woman said, "Dear, you derriere is exposed!". That explained the breeze! I rushed to my office where I untucked the skirt, covered the cellulite and hid in my office till closing time.

Kathryn, you could have been wearing a thong! Still laughing...

Me in a thong? Oh Lord, now that would be my most embarrassing moment!

Here's one that's kind of --ahem--different. When I was working in China, I blatantly used every opportunity I could to show off my (limited) Mandarin language skills. So, one day in a group of about a dozen Americans, I began ordering breakfast. When I ordered my pineapple juice, the waiter looked stunned and kept shaking his head, "NO!"
I kept insisting (knowing full well that they did have pineapple juice) but he kept shaking his head. This went on for a couple minutes, he becoming ever more agitated. He finally he took his hands and made a gesture like he was following the outline of two hills, or maybe, the humps on a camel. That's when it dawned on me. The words for pineapple and camel are strangely alike in Chinese (phonetically, it would be like low-ah tow-ah vs. bo-ah lo-ah).
I had attempted to order pineapple JUICE, but I was ordering camel PEE!!!
Between my red face and about a half dozen other waiters cracking up as the story was told over and over and over while we sat there all morning, even though the Americans didn't understand fully, there was no missing that I had made a HUGE mistake.

These are some funny stories! Camel Pee! LOL
thanks for making my day ladies!

When I was in Italy I was trying to say you're welcome and no wonder they looked at me strange. I was saying, Prada, my favorite shoes! But Camel Pee tops my story by a mile!

That would have to be one day at work when I came out of the ladies bathroom with my skirt tucked into the top of my pantyhose...and yep, there I was the commander's secretary (I worked for an Army officer) walking down the hallway back to my desk...I wondered why I kept getting hoots and hollars as I passed offices...When I sat down in my chair and felt the chair's fabric on my butt, I realized in horror what had happened...needless to say I didn't go to the bathroom the rest of the day...