Dianne, I just read read the statement at the bottom of your post. It says "If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice."
Maybe that's a message to you and your son. Maybe if it doesn't feel good to him to miss the payments, he won't do it again . And if it doesn't feel good to you to trust him to make payments that he doesn't you won't do it again.

Of course, as we all know, when you love someone, a lot of good advice just goes out the window.
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Dianne. Somehow, through fate and a desire to re-rent the apt as quickly as possible. The apt complex did not report the eviction on my credit.

But, I that was a lesson I had to learn too. I had to step back and stop bailing her out. She's 21 now and I had to let her grow up. It was hard. Really hard for me. I enabled her for a long time. Too long in some people's opinions. (Like my husband.)

I really feel for you. I know what you're going through. You want to help protect them from making mistakes, but instead you're buffering them from real life.

This is a hard one. I have three grown children and we have done some bailing and some not bailing. Each kid has been different in their response to money. My oldest son is 25 and living in New York. He is a starving actor, tried college but then quit because he wanted to try and make a go of it on his own. For his 21st birhtday we bought him a brand new car and agreed to make the payments until he graduated or quit school. Well we just finished paying on his car this last June of which he only contributed to for a few months. We will be getting the car in January to do with what we want because he really has no use for it in NYC. He rarely asks us for money. My second son is 23 years old and a senior in college. He bought his own car agreeing to make the payments but once he got involved in college he had to stop, so we took over his payments for him to avoid getting our credit messed up. He also had messed up three semesters at the University of Alabama before we decided to bring him home and make him go to a state school. He also needs to find a way to pay for his own college although we do help out with his rent and food expenses. When he goes for his Master's in the fall he will be doing it on his own except for the car payments. Now my 20 year old daughter is another story. She is living at home with her one year old daughter. Has had three attemps at starting school and is starting her last chance in January if she messes that up I told her we are no longer bailing her out. We also bought her a brand new car a year and a half ago. Because she needed a safer car for driving her baby around. We are making payments on this car also. Now she wants to move into an apt with some co-workers and her baby. We will see how that goes. I babysit for her while she works and when she goes to school I will babysit then also. So ladies where do I draw the line. Yes you have to let them become responsible but it is so hard to decide when to let go.

Chris(angel)

I have a daughter who dropped out of college twice, packed up her car and took off to the West Coast with a girlfriend, camped up and down the coast, spent every penny I sent her on silliness, stayed in the homeless shelter, slept in hospital lobbies, and showered in people's sprinklers. I was worried insane when at last, she decided to come home. Pregnant.

In the midst of losing my mind, I bought her a house. I wanted her to have a roof over her head. But I refused to make the payments on a New car she bought and so it subsequently got reposessed, I bought her a used car and refused to waste any more tuition money.

The baby was born-a great and wonderful child-and my daughter got herself an education grant, went back to college, finisehd in less than three years with a 4 point gpa, and is now a CPA.

I am certain it was prayer combined with love. I had personally given up, but when the baby came along and filled us all up with such tremendous love, even my daughter could do nothing but excel.

That was my UNsolution. She solved it on her own. Now she the father of her child is her husband. He's good to her and she's happy. She gave birth to my granddaughter in May. I pray they stay happy forever.
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It IS hard to know when to draw the line. If you throw them out, they stand the chance of being on the streets and all that goes with it. If you let them live with you and buy their cars, they take advantage of you! Geesh! I leased my daughter's car but she always makes the payment on time, by herself without me writing a check for her. But, it took a while for us to get to this point. It was hard for me to cut her off, very hard but now, she says it's the best thing that ever happened to her. Hated me for a while but now understands. Do we ever get them raised?

I think it was Dotsie that said you can have more than one child, raise them all the same and some turn out and some don't. I have 2 sons, one is gone and I haven't seen him now for almost 10 years....The other, my oldest son, has a beautiful new home and wonderful family and they beg me to come live with them so we can see one another every day. Its funny because this son gave me the most trouble as a teenager while his younger brother (by 5 years) got straight A's and was a health nut and body builder, now I don't have any idea where he is or what he's doing. Go figure!