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#4034 - 06/22/04 06:29 AM Re: 1st Job Interview
DreamrKate Offline
Member

Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 446
Loc: California
Hi girls, I'd like to add my two cents worth. My number one son is now 21 and is a finish carpenter doing fine and actually I think he makes more money than I do now.

But I think I had to tell him EVERY day to do his homework, do his homework, do his homework. He was bright, personable, but not thrilled with taking orders from anyone. He didn't like teachers telling him anything when he was in h.s., didn't like wearing a helmet while skating/riding his bike, didn't like staying 'on the block' when he was little (6)...you get the picture.
So when he was your son's age, I told him repeatedly to get a job and finally he did. He went to work for a fast food place. And he liked the check. Then he found he liked doing something well. Then he found his own rhythm.
With each job he quit to do something a little better until he got this carpentry job. He started working with my husband but then my husband couldn't do it anymore and the boss kept my son.
I guess my point is - don't worry - let him find his own rhythm. Thank GOD we are allowed to have the gift of getting to have children who are truly special and unique.
I have one totally "normal" child (our daughter) who thinks that she's a non-conformist when she wears two different colored socks, (socks that will be completely covered by jeans and her shoes.)
My boys on the other hand, all three of them are in various stages of living by-the-seat-of their-pants, but I have no fear that they'll figure it out.
And what's really amazing is that while you worry and fret for them - the interviewer has no such hang-ups. All they see is the unencumbered kid-looking for a job.
They don't know the strangeness or the little irresponsibilities or anything about that kid.
They don't see that your husband is just hoping the 'kid gets a job'. They don't see that angst.
They just see the person. And he'll do fine. No matter what, he'll learn from his experience, good or bad. If it's not a perfect fit, he'll know what doesn't fit and have a better idea of what does.
He's on the cusp of life. Help him embrace it so he'll eagerly approach it.

Kate
p.s. Sorry, that was at least a bucks worth. [Razz]

[ June 21, 2004, 11:40 PM: Message edited by: DreamrKate ]

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#4035 - 06/22/04 07:54 AM Re: 1st Job Interview
DreamrKate Offline
Member

Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 446
Loc: California
Now THAT - I guess all a mother's gotta do is shore up the child while they're busy figuring out what that rhythm is. -- THAT was well said!

My Scotty seems so settled now that I wonder why I worried. But he did ride a bumpy road for a while. Sometimes I think part of what helped him is that I kind of rolled along with him and didn't get too too, too horribly blown out when he blew it sometimes. Those are nightmare stories we'll save for another time, when someone brings up "kid's brushes with the law."

Kate

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#4036 - 06/23/04 07:32 AM Re: 1st Job Interview
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Garrie and Kate, I'm smiling after reading your posts. You are wise women and I couldn't agree more.

Sometimes I think the kids who have learning differences that are addressed and cared for make better adults because diversity smacked them in the face at such a young age.

They have excellent coping skills because they've had to use them. They're hard working because they have to be. They're kind because they know how it feels to be the brunt of someone's mean spirit.

This makes me think of the book I read to my kids when they were little. I've mentioned it in here before. People, by Peter Spier. It's awesome. It makes you grateful that no two human beings are alike.

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#4037 - 06/27/04 12:20 AM Re: 1st Job Interview
Agate Offline
Member

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 164
Loc: Minnesota
Thanks everyone for some sound wisdom. [Embarrassed] It helps to hear from other mothers who've already been there, done that, and everything turned out okay. And thanks Kate, you have some very good advice.

My son worked two days last week and has 3 days to work next week. He's kind of disappointed in how few hours he's got (not as much money as he thought he would be making) and working a cash register is confusing, but he seems to have a good attitude about it. And he still has the opportunity to offer a painting class at the store if he wants.

The bonus for me is that he gets a 25% discount for himself and family at the store! [Big Grin] So we'll save some money on canvases, paints, etc. And if I take up scrapbooking, just imagine the savings!

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#4038 - 06/27/04 03:44 AM Re: 1st Job Interview
Maggie Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/03
Posts: 765
Loc: Oregon
Agate,
Congratulations on your son doing well. [Smile] Lucky you with the discount. I'd go for the scrapbooking while you can. Its so addictive and expensive but if your careful its easier. [Wink]
Maggie

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#4039 - 06/27/04 03:07 PM Re: 1st Job Interview
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Agate,
Last week he hasd two days. This week he has three. He must be doing something right. [Big Grin]

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#4040 - 06/27/04 10:16 PM Re: 1st Job Interview
DreamrKate Offline
Member

Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 446
Loc: California
It's always interesting how things work out just the way they're supposed to work out.

Just think, Mary, if he would have been scheduled for a 40 hour week right off the bat... it would have been "cash register overwhelm," and it would have been every single day without letting him have a breathing space to digest it all. This way he has a little bit of time to adjust to the new atmosphere, the register, the rules, etc. before he goes back to assimilate his young self to the working world.

It's perfect.

And though it's not as much money as he would have liked right at this time, he'll be able to pick and choose what are the most important things he wants his money for and it will teach him about prioritizing.

Isn't that amazing? And all you had to do really was to sit back, (faith=trust) and watch it unfold. The hand-wringing was optional. [Big Grin]

I just got back from church...I've got this whole God thing ALLllll worked out! [Razz]

[Big Grin] [Razz] [Wink] Kate

[ June 27, 2004, 03:21 PM: Message edited by: DreamrKate ]

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