With 3 teens in the house there is always one who doesn't want to do the "family thing". It's okay. I'm getting used to it. I'm just thankful that we started some family traditions when they were little because they don't seem to mind doing the very traditional outings. For example, Thanksgiving at Grand-dad's. They know they will see their cousins, goof off, play pool, get to drive on Grand-dad's property (before they have their license), poke fun at each other, throw a few things, etc. Plus everyone else is with their families that day too. So getting out the door is no problem. They now LIKE to get dressed up and don't have to involve me in doing so. Well,except for my Senior in high school. For whatever reason, he loves to wear a jacket and tie. He did ask is he should wear a tie. And I was like, "Matt we're going to Grand-dad's for heavens sake, just chill!" I swear he's gonna get a job that requires the whole dress to the hilt thing. Actually, I love seeing him dressed to the hilt, after the early days of Caldor sweat pants and dungarees(that's what my husband calls them and the kids ask, "What are dungarees?")

ANYWAY, This whole CONVINCE THE TEEN THE FAMILY OUTING IS WORTH IT is wearing off! But,fortunately a lightbulb went off for me the other day when I remembered being a teen and having to attend all the family get togethers during the holidays. "Do I have to go?", I can recall saying! "All my friends are getting together to do such and such and I am going to miss it!" OR, I would just put up a verbal battle and not even communicate the real reason for not wanting to go. Simply stated, I didn't want to be with my family that night. Friends always took precedence. Now, there were the nights that my friends were STUCK doing things with their families and nothing on the friend front was going on. Those nights the family parties were okay. I had some cute cousins that were pretty cool to hang out with. There were the little cousin crushes that sound way too weird now, but it was all very innocent. No kissing or anything, just infatuation!

Where am I going with this? I guess my point is that since the lightbulb, I understand this teen attitude a little better. FRIENDS FIRST seems to be the motto and you know what, that's a healthy thing for teens. We should just be thankful they have good friends that they like to hang out with. I've realized it's time to lower my expectations about THE FAMILY OUTINGS. It's time my husband and I start making more of our own plans.

i have found if we have the parties at our house and let our kids invite their friends we have more luck. that way the others have to worry about their families dealing with the outings!!! the only problem is sometimes our kids and their friends can be rather embarrassing!! we always give the forewarning and hope for the best when folks arrive. if it goes downhill...well just keep giving the guests tons of liquor, make 'em sleep on the couch or arrange for them to get a limo home or something and hope they forget about our obnoxious kids by the following day! boy oh boy what fun we have to look forward to for the holidays!