I stayed home intil my daugher was in high school and then worked part time as a crossing guard to have the summers with here and we would go to the pool and keep thing up until she went to college and loved it. The weather outside go to me and had to retire . I went back to school and learned computer work and love this so much and work part time now , but not as a crossing guard .

I enjoyed those day an taking her to piano classes and ballet .

When our first one was born over 20 years ago I quit my job and never went back to anything.

I enjoyed sitting and reading to them for hours or walking in our woods on "nature hikes." I loved the tune of Sesame Street, the Letter People and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

I really enjoyed tutoring at school, chaperoning on field trips, and volunteering for everything
the school hosted. I never wanted to miss being the one taking my children to school and picking them up to take them home (yes, we have a school bus) and dance classes.

That was how I chose to do it. I don't regret it. Those are some wonderful memories. However, a job, even part-time sounds good. I wouldn't want anything like I use to do just a few hours out each day. I have always wanted to write a book.

Everyone should enjoy what makes you happy now and just free to be whoever we want.

[ December 11, 2005, 10:10 AM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

I don'tregret one minute of staying home and raising a family. I wish my daughter could have the same luxury. I believe today it is a luxury when a woman can stay at home with her children. For most young moms today, working is a necessity. They need both incomes to support a household and in some cases the wife carries the health insurance. Another necessity.

When I got married in 1968 and got pregnant in 1969, I quit my job and stayed home for many years. Today, it isn't that easy. Young couples often want to buy their homes first, have two vehicles, travel, buy timeshares, etc. We put that stuff aside for a while so we could live on one income. We went without a lot of things. That doesn't mean our way was better, just the way it was then. When I see these kids today mortgaged to the hilt, with cars that cost as much or more than my first house, paying for health care and day care, timeshares and heavily into credit card debt, rents of $1000 a month, I just don't know how they do it. Granted they make more money than we did, but still, it doesn't seem possible. Not to mention trying to save for the future and for the education of their children. It can't be easy.

Louisa

I know most will think me old fashioned and maybe I am but I will always believe children are brought up better, nurtured more when mothers are at home to oversee them. I had to work when mine were young being a single parent but have always felt sad because I was not there as much as I wanted to be, as much as they needed me to be....

But, they turned out just fine didn't they Chatty?

I agree with you Chatty, which is why I resigned after a four month maternity leave. I couldn't bear to leave my baby with someone else and my husband agreed. I myself though, would never judge a mom who truly needs to work. The key word here is truly.

[ December 11, 2005, 08:56 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

I don't think it's old fashioned Chatty to feel that way. I feel the same way. It's what we were taught. I think mothers should be home with their children, but I understand that they can't always be. A mother has to do what a mother has to do. A single mother needs to do it all. You shouldn't feel sad or guilty for working. You had to feed and clothe them and pay the rent. I know you must feel you missed out on something, but I think you should be proud of yourself.
Louisa

I don't think it's old fashioned either. It's the way God intended it to be. Unfortunately, other people can cause mothers to have to work. And kids understand that. I've been home with my kids all their lives so far, and they're not all turning out so great. Chatty, from the things you've written, yours sound very loving and considerate. I especially like the story of your son getting the snow for his little guy. That's so precious! He's got a heart like his mom!!!

I always loved being a SAHM and have never regretted it. I was criticized for never hiring a baby sitter so my husband and I could go out. I reasoned this way, my children will grow up fast enough and I'll have plenty of opportunities to go out. I am not and never was a party person. I love being at home with my family. They are the best friends I will ever have in my life. I owed it to them to raise them myself. Your advice is solid.

Speakermom I see so many married couples who spend way much more than they earn. They take expensive vacations, have a new car every two or three years buy bigger and bigger houses with huge utility bills to match, wear designer clothes and then say to me, "I have to work." From where I sit I'm thinking to myself, no you don't, if you'd spend your money more realistically and not have every extravagance. I made sure when my kids were small that their lives were not filled with a schedule that would frustrate an adult. My kids went out and played like I did when I was little.
When we went to a band meeting in my daughter's 8th grade it amazed me to hear the music teacher and principal extolling the virtues of parents running mad to band practise, soccer, softball, etc,. etc. They said, "we did it and you can too." Sorry but running around every night after school to meet these schedules was not my idea of a healthy environment for children.

When I'd pick my kids up after school they'd look sadly at the other kids being herded to the after school program. My son said to me, "I'm glad you didn't do that to me." He was only in the fourth grade when he said it.

My daughter played the flute in band and took dance classes from second grade to seventh grade. When she told me "no more" we didn't force her to continue. She has a 4.72 GPA and is the second highest student in her senior class of 277 students. She also received a college scholarship. I'm very proud of both of my children. I wouldn't do any of it differently.

If a parent must do it (and single women surely do) I am hoping they are doing it for the right reasons and not for material excess. I believe a child needs us more than designer clothes and every new gadget that comes on the market.