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#34209 - 12/07/02 09:53 PM I have almost always been one!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
This is a topic that not many people have been drawn to so I thought I would post something since I STILL consider myself to be one. I have stayed home with the kids since the day we brought our first adopted son home from the airport. My husband and I decided that if we were going to have children I would stay home and care for them. Leaving the working world and staying home to be with an infant was quite a switch for me. While I loved my son dearly, I sometimes yearned for the company of other people and the need to feel like I had accomlished something other than laundry, dinner, entertaining my son, etc., etc. Recognizing this I started treating my days with him like work days. I made a list almost every single day of what I wanted to do, where I wanted to take him(and eventually, his siblings) who I needed to call, and the list goes on.

There were those people who would ask me WHAT I DID ALL DAY. I felt like telling them I sat around and ate bon-bons, or better yet, I sat at home with my finger in my nose. When you have 3 little kids to care for...what do people think you do all day? Looking back now I must have decided somewhere along the line that I was a PROFESSIONAL HOMEMAKER and not a HOUSEWIFE. A housewife was a woman who stayed home in front of the tv, usually eating and letting the kids evolve around her. She didn't get dressed until noon (if she felt like it) and when she was dressed she chose to stay home and watch the afternoon soaps! The kids were just making messes around her and she wasn't actively involved in their lives other than to scream an occasional order! When hubby came home and asked what was for dinner, she didn't know!

I, on the other hand, was a PROFESSIONAL HOMEMAKER, I had my shower before hubby left the house for work and was up and ready to tackle the day. The list was made of the day's activities. The kids knew in advance what the order of the day was, where we were going, what we were doing and with whom we would be doing it. Sounds rigid, but it worked for us. We walked, strolled, played, zooed, aquariumed, parked, swung, slid, picniced, swam, napped, baked, cooked, playdoughed, libraried, read, chilled,...get the picture?

When they started getting older and were in school I added volunteer work to my schedule and started helping at the church and schools. Believe me, a woman who chooses to stay home can put in many volunteer hours in a week. Anyway, there are many ways to go about raising our children and I am grateful for the way I have been able to raise mine.

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#34210 - 12/08/02 10:51 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Candice Johnson Offline
Member

Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 416
Loc: Alexandria, VA
I have always known that when the time to have kids came, I would want to stay at home for the most part. My husband knows this and our compromise is that as long as one of us could be at home for the majority of the week, that would be good.

I have known this ever since my mom started to be a nanny. While I think she is a great person and the next best thing to someone's "real" parents, the parents still miss out on things. My mom gets to see them take their first steps or say their first words, and the parents don't. The thing is, those kids won't ever hear the stuff my mom knows about what they were like because she moves on to a new family once the kids go to school.

While I know what I want to do, I also feel incredibly guilty. I have a college education that many would feel would go to waste if I did not stay in the professional world. I think Dotsie makes a good point about the fact that there is a lot to be done in the home (With just a husband I feel overwhlemed at times!). She also makes a good point about what a switch is was for her and how isolated she felt, which is what I worry about too. While it is MANY MANY years away for me, I already feel disconnected from many of my friends at college because of being married and have branched out to other people I know because they are married or in more serious relationships.

But I do think if it is something you truly want to do and believe with all your heart it's what's best for your child, you can make it work. I would much rather be satisfied with seeing a happy, healthy child who learned something from me at the end of the day then to know I've contributed to the company bank.

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#34211 - 12/09/02 12:31 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Micki Offline
Member

Registered: 10/30/02
Posts: 144
Loc: Linthicum, MD
When I was growing up, we (mother, father, brother and I) lived with my maternal grandparents. My mother, father and grandfather worked full-time, and my grandmother was there for us. When she died (at 52) when I was 12, my mother stopped working for a few years and stayed home for us. Then, my grandfather had a heart attack and retired, so Mom went back to work, as he was there with us.

Having had the "luxury" of having a parent or grandparent home all the time, I must say that we managed it because there were always three of them working and that meant one could stay home. After Grandmom died and before Gramps started being there, things were pretty tight for a few years. When Gramps retired, he still got his paycheck and Mom and Dad both worked, so we had the best of all worlds.

I never had children of my own, but I would have wanted to stay home with them if I had. However, I don't think we could have afforded it. Things are so expensive these days (and I am just talking housing and food and clothing, not the extras) that I don't see how anyone can do that unless they are independently wealthy to begin with.

On the other hand, I see kids every day on my bus that don't have the benefit of having a parrent home all the time, and I am appalled at their behavior. It is downright maddening to see how they act.

So, I guess you just have to make the best decision for your family and go with it. It IS a conundrum, and I don't know just how I would handle it anymore. Drop back and punt, I guess.....

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#34212 - 12/11/02 06:35 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Uvagolfmom Offline
Member

Registered: 11/22/02
Posts: 17
Loc: Towson
People always get in hot water in this topic, and I do not want to offend anyone,but time and again I noticed that, whether people like it or not, somebody has to be the Mom. If neither parent will be, a nanny (or grandparent) will take that place. I liked being the mom, my husband often had to work weekends, so I worked part-time, if at all, for the first 15 years and we had a babysitter we paid full time but generally used 1 or 2 days a week. This ended when the kids were all in school and we made it work around their school schedule. I am gratified my kids do not even have a recollection of me working when they were small. Because I strove to be home, I did not miss out on the first step, the first word, whatever. Those were saved for me. I am now making the transition to thinking of myself as something other than a mother. I feel good about getting involved in some things for myself now, but I hated it whenever work caused conflict or even momentarily threw our family out of whack. I have no regrets whatsoever about the time I spent at home. People have to understand this for the sake of the kids, but the neglect does not happen with working mothers alone. We had a nanny in training living with us at one time. She would have what I called Nannies Anonymous meetings. The nannies would fret about the doctor's wives or whoever who did not work at all, but were out nonetheless from 9am-6pm or later with social activities almost every day. The reality for our kids is they do not know or care whether we were away working, saving the world, basking in a spa or serving as a socialite. They just know we were not there. I always said I would rather be known as a good mom who one day could be a good professional than a good professional whose kids are really screwed up. At the end of the day, there is nothing more important in terms of what we are accomplishing on earth. I hope this encourages people. I do not mean to be anything other than encouraging to people questioning the utility of staying home.

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#34213 - 12/13/02 04:54 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Kathryn Offline
Member

Registered: 11/20/02
Posts: 317
Loc: Towson
I hope this doesn't offend anyone but here goes anyway....I don't know how it is possible to not be a "full-time homemaker"? I work 30 to 40 hours a week at a job outside of the home, and then go home and put in another 8 to 10 hour day not including weekends. Homemaking, if defined as mothering, wifing, household management, is always a full time job. I've always been bothered by the fact that too many people fail to recognize what it takes to manage a home and family. There are the big obvious things like meals, laundry, cleaning etc. But what about the million other things. Who helps with homework and projects? Who shops? Who pays the bills? Who goes to PTA, coaches little league? I do! And I have a husband. He thinks he does his share and I suppose compared to many other guys, he does....in a guy defined kind of way. The way I see it, I have two full time jobs and this time of year, it seems like three. Now that I've finished bitchin', I should add, I wouldn't trade one minute, one lacrosse game, one band concert, one hug or cuddle or one sleepless night for anything in the world. My kids love me and know that I am devoted to them. They also respect that I have other abilities that generate an income that help our family. I am a very blessed, if always exhausted, full time homemaker.

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#34214 - 12/23/02 04:02 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
DJ Offline
Member

Registered: 11/22/02
Posts: 1149
Loc: Ohio
Since this is a site for "boomer women" I want to make an appeal to my sisters: we should not feel defensive about raising children and taking care of the house! We may be the only women in the world with this problem -- I lived overseas some years ago, and I remember that Italian housewives went on strike for benefits! and they got them! Yes, housewives have pensions. Meanwhile, back in the USA, women were either dressing in man like suits or apologizing for being housewives and staying home. We need to recognize our collective worth and our collective power and not let the world tell us what's good or bad about what we do -- we already know it. We need to be proud. AND I'd say it's high time housewives qualified for health benefits and retirement -- I'm not sure how it should be funded, but I think we can figure that out. Other countries do this. Have you ever looked at the social security benefits summary, for those years you stayed home? You earned zero.

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#34215 - 09/29/05 12:38 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Danita Offline
Member

Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
Bringing this back to the top too!

Check Dotsie out! You can hear her rant about "what do you do all day"....and check how far she's come. From a "ranting" stay at home mom...to the founder of an INTERNATIONAL BOOMER GROUP!

YYAHHHHHHHHHHH DOTSIE!

D.

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#34216 - 10/04/05 01:48 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
nanno Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/03/05
Posts: 2
Loc: central wisconsin
After reading what all of you have written, has made me feel really great about being a "Domestic Engineer",AKA the Homemaker/Housewife. My husband and I have raised 5 wonderful children and have lost 5 children. I was at home with the kids until they were all in school full time and then I went back to school to finish my high school diploma. After doing this, I started working 2 jobs, one during the daytime and the other was at night so we could get the downpayment for our house. I worked this schedule around when the kids would get home from school and when their Dad would be home so some one was always there for them. I was finally able to retire from my last job ,as a jailer, a few years ago and haven't had a minute to rest yet!!Now I'm babysitting some of our grandchildren. I don't want to get too long winded, but I would like to thank all of you for your honesty. It really is refreshing to find a place where your comments make you feel welcome and not the outsider looking in. Thank you.

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#34217 - 10/04/05 03:29 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
yepthatsme2 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
Hi Nanno,

Sounds as if we have lots in common. I also have 5 children, ages 32, 28, twins 25, and the baby 21.
But, unlike you, all are still home except for the daughter she's 32. [Eek!]
Guess they are still liking the creature comforts. We have one grandson who is 15, and a new step grand-daughter who just moved in with her dad who is 13.

Worked most of the time my children were growing up also. Pretty much had to with 5 to feed.

You will find this forum full of honesty, with some truly outstanding women willing to share and care.
Fairly new myself...it's totally addictive here so prepare to visit often. In fact I visit several times a day. [Big Grin]
You might want to go to the welcome forum and introduce yourself. That way all the ladies will see you.... and give you that special welcome only they can.

Glad to have you here!

[Smile]
Brenda

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#34218 - 10/04/05 07:15 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
chickadee Offline
Member

Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
Hi Nanno, looks like we have fishing and hunting in common. I bet you have some pretty good jailer stories that you could share. Welcome to the site and enjoy.

chick

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#34219 - 10/04/05 09:11 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Danita Offline
Member

Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
Wow, ladybug, that is impressive!

I've been a stay at home mom for 16 years - and it has been a joy for us as well. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I also love as my kids have entered their teens that I have some room "for me" to build my own business - so when they fly the coup -- I have a vision for my life!

danita

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#34220 - 10/04/05 09:15 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
I'm going on 25 years being a stay at home mom. My oldest is 24, youngest is 3 1/2(yeah, I dragged it out!!). I turned 46 in June and it's been 37 days since my last period...and I'm queasy...pray for me, ladies...I am so tired.

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#34221 - 10/04/05 11:02 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Danita Offline
Member

Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bluebird,,,,,I'm a praying!

danita

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#34222 - 10/04/05 11:22 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Well I just took a test...it was positive... [Frown]

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#34223 - 10/05/05 12:18 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
I wish I could agree with you, Ladybug. I'm 46, I have 8 kids and a grandson...I've been doing this for 1/4 of a century already...I am bummed.

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#34224 - 10/05/05 01:53 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Oh my gracious. Congrats! We are here for you if you need us. Have you spilled the means anywhere other than cyber world?

Boy Danita, you really dug up an old post. You go girl. I had forgotten all about this one.

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#34225 - 10/05/05 02:07 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Danita Offline
Member

Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
Dots,

I was just doing my job as "hall moniter" and bringing "old topics" that didn't have alot of response to the top! LOL! how much fun was that!

d.

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#34226 - 10/05/05 02:07 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Well thanks, Dots. Forgive me if I'm not excited...I had to call my husband in NJ to tell him. He's been back east for a week, helping his mom. My daughter and son-in-law were here when I took the test. My husband's new business partner called and I told him. My older sons will be embarrassed as usual and my husband's one sister will make fun of me, as usual...sigh

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#34227 - 10/05/05 02:36 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Pattyann Offline
Member

Registered: 07/08/05
Posts: 245
Loc: Ocala Florida
Good health, a healthy baby- and a wish that you will find the calm acceptance of the child you know you will welcome once it all sinks in
Pattyann

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#34228 - 10/05/05 02:38 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
I know it is a waste of time to be depressed about it, but I am. You don't know how long I've been waiting to do something else. I don't know what the heck that is, but there's something there...Two different times I wanted to open a Catholic bookstore, both times I got pregnant. I love my children so much, but I don't feel I can do this again. I know God will get me through it, but I can't be happy right now...

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#34229 - 10/05/05 02:40 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Thank you Patty. I could never reject a life that's been entrusted to me, but I'm so weary.

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#34230 - 10/05/05 03:10 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Bluebird, I hear your weariness. My heart doesn't know what to say, but just know that I hear you. I wish I lived close enough to come over and make you a good hot cup of tea. It never solves anything, but somehow makes everything seem better just for a few brief sipping moments.

There's nothing wrong with sighing that huge sigh of weariness...no matter how much of a blessing this baby is/will be, it doesn't change the fact that you're 46, tired, been doing this for a very long time and thought you were heading in another direction...it's a shock and you do need to adjust and get used to this new reality.

Whatever you do, I hope you won't feel like you're supposed to feel happy and overjoyed about this when you're here with us...be you...be real...and let us help you through this initial shock and profound weariness. We'll help you through...

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#34231 - 10/05/05 03:14 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Thank you Eagle...you've helped me get some tears out, which always helps. I can ell you "hear" me, I knew you'd understand...
How are things going with you and your husband? I've been thinking about you for days, now...

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#34232 - 10/05/05 03:29 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Thanks for thinking about me Bluebird. I'm not able to be as forthcoming about "that" as I usually am...I have reason to believe that it could be hurtful to someone else I care deeply about who has mentioned that she might be checking this site out sometime soon. Which is why I felt it best to delete the post I wrote earlier this week.

The situation is calmer now, but still tinged with some apprehension and sadness, so a little prayer here and there could be helpful. Maybe we could trade prayers. When I'm really sad and down about my situation, I'll be praying for your situation...and when you're feeling really down and weary about your situation, you can pray for mine...looks like we might be thinking about each other a lot over the next few days and weeks, eh?

That's okay. I like lifting you up in my prayer...and I have LOTS of tedious sanding to do by hand tomorrow...so it's going to be a perfect day to get in LOTS of prayer for you and my other Boomer sisters who have asked for prayer!

I do hear you Bluebird. If you need to vent, cry, rage, whatever, feel free to PM me anytime...although I have limited online access for the next couple of weeks...if it takes awhile for me to respond, trust that I'm still thinking about you and caring and hearing you!

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#34233 - 10/05/05 03:44 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Eagle, you are just as sweet as can be. I haven't met many women who are as sensitive and compassionate as you are. If my mother had been like you, I would have been the most well-adjusted kid around. [Razz]

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#34234 - 10/05/05 04:48 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Ladybug, I don't contracept because I agree with the Church. I don't believe in cutting God out of this part of our lives. He made sex for procreation, he made it enjoyable so we would do it! I don't believe in seperating the two. It's like food - we eat it to nourish our bodies, but God made it enjoyable so we would eat!

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#34235 - 10/05/05 04:55 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
But thanks for the offer of support. [Smile]

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#34236 - 10/05/05 04:58 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Well I happen to believe that the Catholic Church is the church founded by Jesus himself and as such, it has the authority to make rules for our lives. But I follow this teaching because I agree with it!

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#34237 - 10/05/05 05:23 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Thank you Ladybug. That was very sweet of you to say. I appreciate your concern for me, I really do.

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#34238 - 10/05/05 05:32 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
chickadee Offline
Member

Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
Western Bluebird, I am offering prayers for you tonight. I cannot know how you are feeling and I don't know how I would handle it myself. I am just going to ask God to give you peace and comfort the way he knows how.

Hugs
Andria

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#34239 - 10/05/05 05:41 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Thank you, chickadee - I know I'll get through this. Especially knowing I have so many beautiful souls praying for me...uh...us!

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#34240 - 10/05/05 06:33 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
I wanted to really thank all of you for your prayers and kind words. I'm feeling a little more positive today, I guess the initial shock has passed...I'm going to try to get through one day at a time, and not be overwhlemed by it all. God is on the throne.

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#34241 - 10/06/05 07:30 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Western, keep looking for the blessings. Perhaps there is a way for you to follow some of your other dreams while mothering.

Have you tried journaling to see if there is a way to fulfill your dream of opening a Catholic bookstore? I don't want to stress you out, but perhaps you could do it with another woman and have a little day care within. Your employees would love you if they could bring their little ones to work.

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#34242 - 10/06/05 07:43 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
The store I wanted to open was in NY, there was a need for it where we lived. This is a little town, 1 small Catholic church which is starting a library. So I'm not sure it would fly here. But I've already volunteered to work at the library so I think that will be good for me. My husband is going to be self-employed so he will be able to help more with the kids. My bible study has begun, lots of wonderful women! next week I will tell them about the Boomers! I can't ell you how much I appreciate all of you, supporting and encouraging me. Women are the best!! [Smile]

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#34243 - 10/06/05 07:46 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
I forgot to mention,I have been trying to start journaling for years now...I wasn't sure if my husband would respect my privacy and not read it. But he is coming along and I think he is starting to give me the space I need. I want to be able to write anything and everything (like I do here!).
Ladybug, thank you again for your positive attitude!

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#34244 - 10/06/05 06:26 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
westernbird,I've been journaling for years. I'm sure my family knows. They see me sitting at the kitchen table with my Bible, folder and journal in the morning. I don't think they've ever cracked the journal. [Wink] Mine ismore of a prayer journal so even if they did they would only read how much I care and pray for them.

I wouldn't leave your journal sitting around if you are going to write about topics you don't want them to read. Journaling is so healthy for the journaler, but can be dangerous for those who snoop.

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#34245 - 10/07/05 12:06 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Pattyann Offline
Member

Registered: 07/08/05
Posts: 245
Loc: Ocala Florida
Bird- I think one of the reasons I divorced my first husband was because he read my journals. I have been journalling since the 5th grade- kept them all but when times got bad with him- he was always looking for things of mine to see if the seperation I wanted was because of another man- no I was just screaming to be free, to reconnect with the me I lost to pacify him- so I destroyed ALl those journals- now what I have left is my journals fromJuly 1st 1991 when I left til now-the difference between that marriage and the blessed one I'm in now is that my journal sits on my coffee table, my purse isn't hidden and there is trust and the certainty that if we need to talk something over we do and our privacies are never violated

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#34246 - 10/07/05 01:52 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
That is a healthy marriage - good for you!

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#34247 - 10/07/05 03:49 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Pattyann Offline
Member

Registered: 07/08/05
Posts: 245
Loc: Ocala Florida
Yeah- I'm lucky and grateful- anyone want to rub my head for luck??
How are you feeling, anyway?/ Morning sick- or eating everything in sight like I always did?
You know I have to say I admire you about actually living according to the catholic teachings-I was raised catholic- nuns had me from kinder til high school . I don't believe anymore but that's me but I know very few couples who live those rules and you do and that takes an incredible faith

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#34248 - 10/07/05 05:33 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Thanks Patty, it means alot to have someone admire my faith, instead of ridicule it...it's not an easy path, but being obedient to God is worth all the suffering. Not much morning sickness, a little queasy. I do want to eat everything but that's also because the weather is getting cooler.
Have a great night!

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#34249 - 10/08/05 04:02 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Just wanted to let everyone know that I started bleeding today. I should have known I would not be able to finish this pregnancy. I am 46 and this happened last year also. Thank you all for your prayers.

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#34250 - 10/08/05 04:42 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Pattyann Offline
Member

Registered: 07/08/05
Posts: 245
Loc: Ocala Florida
Hey,
I bet you feel sad , maybe a little relieved and sad again but maybe it's meant to be. You are a strong woman girl and damn if I'm not crying when I write this
Be well

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#34251 - 10/08/05 05:05 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Thanks, Ladybug. I hope this doesn't sound terrible, but I am relieved...

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#34252 - 10/08/05 05:05 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Ph Pattyann, I didn't see your post. Why are you crying?

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#34253 - 10/08/05 05:07 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
That should have been "oh"

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#34254 - 10/08/05 04:39 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Pattyann Offline
Member

Registered: 07/08/05
Posts: 245
Loc: Ocala Florida
Hi, Bluebird
Thought about you all last night and hope you are doing well
I know I had three miscarriages and though two were a relief I still hadthis little well of sadness inside
So rest girl, then go out and buy two journals- one with beautiful pages for all your hopes and blessings and a big fat notebook to let all the rants inside out as you scribble yourself centered!!!
Guess I was crying last night for both of us

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#34255 - 10/08/05 06:31 PM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Pattyann, after I asked "why are you crying", I kind of heard this voice that said "duh, she's a woman!!". I probably would have cried for you too. It is a relief and this is my 3rd. miscarriage as well. The first 2 were further along and required D&C's, and as you may, or may not know, I have 8 children and a grandson. I'm not sure how my husband feels. I'm sure he's relieved as well, but I supsect sometimes he's almost glad when I get pregnant because he figures it's now "safe" to have sex anytime!!
Ladybug, I haven't walked outside in almost 2 weeks. I couldn't do it while m husband was away because I couldn't leave my 3 year old alone. I tried the treadmill twice (it's not the same!) and now our mornings are cold and wet. I will ry to walk today, though, it will help with the cramping, which isn't too bad...I wasn't too far along.

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#34256 - 10/29/05 07:24 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Western, just checking in to see how you are feeling these days. Any better physically and emotionally since the miscarriage? Isn't it crazy how one can experience such events and hardly skip a beat? I'm sure that's your experience since you have such a big family.

How's the journaling?

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#34257 - 10/30/05 07:49 AM Re: I have almost always been one!
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Thanks for asking, Dotsie. It was a very early miscarriage so if I hadn't taken the P test, I would have thought it was just my period. We didn't even tell any of the kids, just our oldest, who's married.

I have still not started journaling. I guess between BWS, Bible fellowship and emailing and writing to others, I've been getting things "out".

Thanks for thinking of me! [Smile]

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