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#33953 - 01/21/06 07:06 AM Re: 12 Step for anyone
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
Vicki, it's sad to hear that one of the reasons you do not like to tell people that you are bipolar is because of the way they might treat you. Unfortunately this does say a lot about our society in general and it's not good is it?

We don't make fun of people with cancer and diabetes or heart disease so why do people react this way to mental illness?

My dearest friend is bipolar and the words unstable, criminal or crazy when thinking about him never enter my mind. He's as stable as anyone else that I know. He's polite, talented and friendly. He'll do anything for you if you ask. There are many "stable" people I know who don't even come close to the kindness of this person.

How can we get society to stop thinking this way about mental illness. The biggest question is, why do they???

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#33954 - 01/22/06 08:55 AM Re: 12 Step for anyone
Vicki M. Taylor Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 2196
Loc: Tampa, FL
They do because we only sensationalize in the news the negative side of mental illness.

No one does a news story on the positive side. No one goes around looking to see who's stable and announce it to the world.

Stablility is normal. Normal is not news.

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#33955 - 01/21/06 09:44 PM Re: 12 Step for anyone
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
That's something I have noticed too Vicki. All we get blasted with is a sensationalized story. The media loves to spice it up as well. You're right, normal is not news.


My friend, who is bipolar is my brother's best friend from first grade. His dad was alcoholic and left them when his five year old sister died of pneumonia. He was then a fixture in our house, a forth child. He does water color art, golfs, is very funny and at one time was one of the top ten hairstylists in the U.S.

He's not unstable and my husband and I both enjoy having him around. I wish some of my more "stable" friends were like him. He's very easy to be around. He doesn't sap my spirit and energy. He's just good to be around. Our kids like him too.

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#33956 - 01/21/06 09:59 PM Re: 12 Step for anyone
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
suzieq, I'm here by myself right now and truly enjoying the peace and solitude talking to you.

You do not need to try to let these nasty uncalled for remarks "roll off of your back" or even try to understand why they are said. The ones who are saying it are angry unto themselves and casting it off on you.

I think what's happening here is that when everyone is in a "funk" it sets off a domino effect. This is when everyone is attacking you. I think then that it's good to get away from each other. It's good then that they are out. The time out will give them a better attitude when they get back. Maybe your husband knows this too and feels that taking the daughter out gets her off of your back.

I wish you weren't feeling like this today but suzieq, all of us do from time to time.

Do you have any state parks or reservations? Yesterday I went hiking several miles from 12:30 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. It did wonders for my spirit and energy and best of all, didn't cost a cent except when we stopped in a restaurant to eat.

Please, even if you don't feel like it smile. Keep smiling. See if it works even a little to help you feel better. I'm going to go get a cup of coffee. Have one with me while we talk about this. [Wink]

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#33957 - 01/21/06 11:51 PM Re: 12 Step for anyone
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
SuzieQ, please understand again that the attacking comments made by family members are made because they are unhappy and suffering too. It has affected all of you otherwise they would not be insulting you and attacking whatever you say. It's their problem, not yours. People who belittle others have serious problems themselves.

Also, do you find them continually looking for ways to belittle you and continually looking to attack for any little thing you say that they want to misconstrue in their own minds?

You can't help them but you can help yourself by placing yourself out of their presence when they start to do it.

Find ways to enjoy yourself without them when you need to. You are a very good and worthwhile person. I can read it in your posts.

[ January 21, 2006, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

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#33958 - 01/22/06 04:54 AM Re: 12 Step for anyone
NHJackie Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
Well said, ladybug. Family members will often prey on the low self-esteem of someone with a mental health problem --- probably for a couple of reasons. They don't understand mental illness and feel threatened by that person. Or they are using the illness to try to control that person. If you try to defend yourself, they tell you you're crazy.

I'm not saying that your family means you any harm, Sue. But I did have a friend whose family told her she was crazy and threatened to have her "committed" every time she criticized their bad behavior. Very troubling and sad indeed.

When we're fighting a problem like this, the last thing we need is to be sobotaged by those who should be the most understanding.

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#33959 - 01/22/06 09:17 AM Re: 12 Step for anyone
XBWS Offline
Member

Registered: 11/14/05
Posts: 32
Loc: Guilford, CT
How true. I've been down for one day and the over reaction to it is, well, almost comical. But like you say, if I try to defend myself (which for me I admit my favorite tactic is to calmly fight back with pure logic) they lose their tempers and call me crazy.

Vicki, I've joined a group called Stigmabusters. They are are part of NAMI. They are trying to bring a halt to the stigma that has surrounded those with mental illness. It's more or less a letter writing campaign but they are getting the neccessary attention and results, whether it's fighting the media, the networks, Congress etc...

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#33960 - 01/22/06 07:55 PM Re: 12 Step for anyone
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
Count me in suzieQ and let me know who to write to. You all have my support because I'm sick of it just as much as you are.

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#33961 - 01/22/06 10:29 PM Re: 12 Step for anyone
NHJackie Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
I'd like to learn more about that group, too.

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#33962 - 01/23/06 05:57 AM Re: 12 Step for anyone
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
suzieQ, how are you doing and what did you do today?

I wish I could make you smile and feel good about yourself.

Since I can't do that, do this for me. Go to a mirror and smile and say, "I like you, you're really a great person." If anyone sees you do it tell them, a Ladybug thinks that of me. That'll really get em' going!

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