I'm not sure I understand the problem well, but it appears that you are hurt that your friend does not appear to willingly share her problems. If that is the case, I might be able to speak from experience.

Maybe your friend just feels that she is over burdening you and is trying to handle her problems on her own hoping they will be resolved and she can share that instead. Maybe she is trying to protect, not only you, but your friendship.
Having been through some seemingly endless traumas myself, I remember being ashamed that bad things kept happening to me. I felt guilty. It seemed as if I had done something wrong to deserve what felt like punishment and I didn't want anyone to know. I felt that I needed my friends and was afraid they would abandon me for being a sinner deserving of such punishment. It was frightening to be so needy.
Also, it took me a while to get past the denial stage. I had to internalize the trauma for a while before I could share it.

Maybe you should give your friend some time. Let her internalize her problems and let her share on her own terms in her own time. Sounds like she needs a friend to just stand nearby at this point.
smile

[ November 03, 2004, 12:01 AM: Message edited by: smilinize ]