You know what I find really sad? Is that there are some people, our own age, who aren't older, who aren't on the streets, who have by most standards, normal regular lives, and they're lonely.

I've got a wonderful girlfriend who has been one of my dearest friends since we were 14 and she's now living in Las Vegas. She has a couple of friends and her mother lives in a retirement community there but she's been divorced, gone through some bad relationships, works a lot but doesn't make a lot of money, and she's so lonely that it makes me want to scoop her up because it's just so sad.

She told me once that she wasn't like me, I have a lot of friends and I nurture that sort of relationship but she feels that she doesn't have the time or energy to do that and so instead she goes home at night and sits with her dog and her cat, in a cluttered little apartment and watches tv and eats and suffers the repurcussions of that.

Now how do you get someone to change while they still can?

Kate

Dreamer,
Is your friend in pain from loneliness? If not, maybe she's simply alone and enjoying it. I think its the reisitance to our emotions that causes simple aloneness to turn to painful loneliness.
I wonder how to deal with it as much as you do and I have no answers. I see it everywhere. I too have friends, some of whom are married who appear to be so lonely. In fact, the loneliest I've ever been was in a marriage now over, but very painful at the time.

It's a complex issue.
smile

You're so right... it IS a complex issue.

My friend is lonely. She just realized this year that the guy she'd lived with and had tried to make a life with, was really bad for her and she made him go on his way.

I understand being lonely in marriage, I know I've been there several times but not now, and it has passed, but was incredibly sad when I was in that space. Fortunately that was never the predominate feeling.

And I do think 'faith' has a lot to do with it. If you have total faith (which equals trust) in God, I don't know that you ever feel completely alone. I think then is when you know "that this too, shall pass" and you just content yourself with what is in the present until the next thing is set before you, but that's MY belief and it's very hard to try to explain that to anyone else.

Kate

Meredith: Great story!

For all of us:
There are many lonely people out there. I know of cases when, even the ones that are surrounded by caring and loving friends and family are, many times, surprisingly lonely. In such cases, one of the problems is that a lonely person has not learned to reach out. They don't want to open up. Others, clam up inside when they are reached out to. They don't know how to accept friendship, when befriended. Some, I know, do this for fear of misunderstanding and/or to avoid being judged. Others, simply chose to be that way and feel miserable about themselves.

On the other hand, we need to reach out to others and be compassionate and caring! We should treat them as we would like to be treated! We need to learn to give more of ourselves and spread the love of God all around us!

Sometimes, even in our church community we can find lonely people! And that shouldn't be the case. I believe that each one of us can truly make a difference each day in other person's life by reaching out in some way. We all appreciate a kind word, a smile... We all appreciate to know that someone is praying for us... We need to make an effort and go out of our way to show caring and understanding to those in need.

Dreamkate, I live in Las Vegas as you may know and would be so happy to give your friend a call and possibly we could meet for coffee or whatever. I have plenty of time and would be happy to give her some. Feel free to give her my number which I'll send you or I'll call her just to chat if she says it's okay. No one should just work and sit alone with no one to talk to. I am not a pest and know when to back off from someone but I'd like to try and be her friend too.

Thank you Charleen! I'll message you and tell you more. That would be sweet. She's such a great person, you'd probably love her.

More later.

Kate

Dreamrkate, I'll look forward to it. Its such fun here when you have a friend to share things with.....