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#2436 - 04/19/05 05:53 PM How to handle this?
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
I received the following email from a friend who just wore me down. Called me degrading names until I told her she was history if she did it again. Would call and was such a know it all, I would just sit there and listen. As you can tell from her email, she can be very jealous or nasty in her comments. Just wondering if I should tell her the truth or not respond. What would you do?

Hay how come I never hear from you? Have you gotten to rich and beautiful to keep in touch with the friends that knew you when. Or is it just me you have forgotten..........I remember a prayer you had years ago asking God for a friend and who walked in to the Broadway? Was that only for that moment? Just wondering what happened to our friendship. I have waited quietly for a long time and now just feel I should speak out.

#2437 - 04/19/05 06:18 PM Re: How to handle this?
Songbird Offline

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
Dianne, some friends are very possesive and I don't think that's right. Maybe you can find a way to talk and let her know nicely your concerns regarding "her friendship" and what you expect or not.

Friendships involve respect, trust, consideration, etc. The way I see it, if a person cannot respect me, he or she is not my friend.

I'm sure your response would've been different is she would've sent you a note or email saying she misses you, right?

If you're interested in keeping her as your friend, I'd say: address the issues. If you're not interested in her friendship, just let it go and don't sweat it. Some things are just not worth our effort and time. Others deserve it all.

Life is too short and precious. And we have only one chance to live! Smile and enjoy it!

#2438 - 04/20/05 07:21 AM Re: How to handle this?
Dotsie Offline

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder. Why are women jealous of their friends? Can't we be happy for one another.

Don't return the chip attitude. Rise above and reply graciously. Let us know what happens.

#2439 - 04/19/05 08:37 PM Re: How to handle this?
Jersey Girl Offline

Registered: 03/14/05
Posts: 247
Loc: New Jersey
I agree with Songbird. You need to decide if this person is worth the effort and you want her in your life. I let go of a friend because she became so toxic.

Some people cannot be happy for another's good fortune.

#2440 - 04/19/05 10:15 PM Re: How to handle this?
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
When she used the praying for a friend and how she showed up, I considered it a guilt trip, using God as the weapon.

Because I married a man who is successful, I suppose she thinks that this is the reason for blowing her off.

My ego wants to answer but in a loving way but then, that opens the door for more communication and I don't want that. Would any of you really want to know how irritating you might be to someone? I wouldn't. I would rather they just stayed away and bid me well.

She never grew as a woman. Never changed. And as Songbird mentioned, she was insanely possessive! Didn't like me to have other friends...ever!

#2441 - 04/20/05 01:53 AM Re: How to handle this?
Jersey Girl Offline

Registered: 03/14/05
Posts: 247
Loc: New Jersey
Possessiveness in a friendship is a terrible trait. I don't consider it a true friendship,it's more like a control situation.

It is true that the roads we take in life take us to different places and the people who were by our sides at one time no longer 'fit'.

As you stated, she never grew as a woman.

#2442 - 04/20/05 02:18 AM Re: How to handle this?
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
See, I used to pull bad girlfriends into my life just like I pulled bad men. Therapy helped me with that and that was when I started noticing we didn't have much in common anymore.

#2443 - 04/20/05 04:20 AM Re: How to handle this?
Jersey Girl Offline

Registered: 03/14/05
Posts: 247
Loc: New Jersey
Exactly. [Smile]

#2444 - 04/20/05 05:00 AM Re: How to handle this?
DallasGal Offline

Registered: 04/14/05
Posts: 218
Loc: Dallas, Texas
To everything there is a season, and a time and purpose under Heaven -

This applies even to friendships.

Not every friendship is a lifelong keeper, and I have found that when God closes one door to a friendship, he always opens another door to an even better friendship that is intended to support his viewpoint of friendship which is to offer Support and promote Growth of EACH person in the friendship

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

Ecclesiastes 4:9&10 (NIV)

You use steel to sharpen steel,
and one friend sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17 (The Message)

#2445 - 04/20/05 05:48 AM Re: How to handle this?
chatty lady Offline

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Dianne this women threw a prayer from the past into your face showing how small and petty she actually is. My responce would be none at all. If you ignore this woman whom you no longer care to put up with, she will eventually go away. No responce is the best response and God Bless the delete helps get rid of all types of garbage. [Razz]

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