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#221135 - 01/16/16 10:47 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
RE: Mad Magazine - there are so many jokes one could make about this. But of course, there wouldn't have been any "girlie" magazines left behind. I think those are not allowed by Allah...
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#221139 - 01/19/16 11:12 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Opportunity, that's who.
Don't be silly. Opportunity doesn't knock twice!
-------------------------------------------------------------
That dude on a whiskey diet.
He's lost three days already!
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Asked a doctor the other day, "Have you got anything for wind?"
He then gave me a kite!

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#221143 - 01/26/16 11:17 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Q: What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
A: It gets toad away!

---------------------------------------------------------------
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?
Brunette: "I don't know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher: "Kinds, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

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#221148 - 02/02/16 07:04 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Q: What two words in the English language have all five vowels in
order?
A: abstemious and facetious...

------------------------------------------------------------------

Fact is, it was all so different before everything changed!

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is the definition of a fool?
A: A 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work!

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#221151 - 02/10/16 02:32 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Johnny asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist. 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'
'That was very kind of you.' Johnny added. 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'
Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'
---------------------------------------------------------------
Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear.


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#221152 - 02/16/16 02:20 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A: Bugs Bunny!

-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a mischievous egg?
A: A practical yolker!

-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a sleepy Easter egg?
A: Egg-zosted!

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#221169 - 04/05/16 09:44 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
"I hear your aunt had eleven children."
"She sure did."
"Why didn't she go ahead and have an even dozen?"
"She figured it might interfere with her career."
--------------------------------------------------------------
"I heard she made a fortune from a story she made up."
"Who'd she sell it to?"
"A jury."
--------------------------------------------------------------
"Didn't you say your son was a professional author?"
"No, not quite. I said, every time he writes a letter, it's for money."

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#221171 - 04/12/16 09:51 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
"Last time I went to vote, a fella pulled a gun on me and asked if I was going to vote Republican or Democrat."
"What did you tell him?"
"After I thought about it, I told him to go ahead and shoot."
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The trouble with politicians is 90 percent of them are giving the other 10 percent a bad name.
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Congressman to Young Lady: Which party are you affiliated with?
Young Lady: I can't tell you. The party I'm affiliated with isn't divorced yet!

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#221172 - 04/13/16 05:57 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
Good job, Jabber! I love the first one!
_________________________
Boomer in Chief of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com
www.boomerlifestyle.com
www.boomerco.com

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#221174 - 04/19/16 10:22 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
"Hello, is this Fred?"
"Yes, this is Fred."
"Are you sure? It doesn't sound like Fred."
"Yes, I'm absolutely sure. This is Fred."
"Fred, this is Charlie. Will you loan me fifty dollars 'til the end of the month?"
"I'll tell Fred you called just as soon as he comes in."
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"Sir, your daughter is going to marry me."
"It's your own fault for hanging around here so much."
----------------------------------------------------------------
"What would you like to do today?"
"I'm not sure. Let's think..."
"No, let's do something you can do, too."

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