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#221093 - 12/08/15 02:23 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Q. Where does the snowman hide his money?
A. In the snow bank.

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Q. What is a parent's favorite Christmas song?
A. Silent night.

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Q. Why do mummies like the holidays?
A. Because of all the wrappings.

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#221094 - 12/10/15 05:16 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
More good jokes, Jabber. thanks!
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#221104 - 12/16/15 12:31 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Q. What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
A. Saint Nickel-less.

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Q. What nationality is Santa?
A. North-polish.

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Q. What does Santa bring bad boys and girls?
A. A bag of batteries with a note saying, "Toys Are not included!"

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#221105 - 12/17/15 06:53 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
One week until Santa comes, so thanks for the Santa jokes, Jabber!
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Boomer in Chief of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
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#221106 - 12/23/15 12:22 AM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
The holiday season: a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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Q. What do get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A. Frost-bite!

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Q. Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF esteem!

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#221109 - 12/23/15 07:43 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
Thanks, Jabber! I look forward to your Wednesday jokes, and these are fun - as well as seasonal.
_________________________
Boomer in Chief of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com
www.boomerlifestyle.com
www.boomerco.com

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#221115 - 12/29/15 02:11 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.

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An optimist stays up until midnight to see da New Year in.
A pessimist stays up to make sure da old year leaves!

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On New Year's Eve Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death!

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#221116 - 12/29/15 07:01 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
Ha ha - love em, especially the last one, Jabber!
_________________________
Boomer in Chief of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com
www.boomerlifestyle.com
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#221126 - 01/05/16 01:55 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
His New Year's resolution is to not shovel snow this winter. Since he'll be in Florida, he feels pretty good about keeping this decision this year.
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The first week of January, gyms and yoga classes everywhere are packed with people who made New Year's resolution to tone up. It's like sardines in those gatherings. Big sardines. But they're all gone by February!

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This New Year's she resolved to lead a better life. Now all she has to do is find someone who'll trade lives with her!

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#221133 - 01/12/16 02:12 PM Re: Worst Joke Wednesday... [Re: jabber]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Did you know? It is impossible to lick your elbow?
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A form of sanitation in New York City was maintained in the 1840's that included the use of thousands of pigs, which roamed the street and ate all the garbage.
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It is reported that among the items left behind at Osama bin Laden's headquarters in Afghanistan were 27 issues of Mad Magazine. Al Qaeda members admit bin Laden had been an avid reader.

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