Site Links










Top Posters
Dotsie 23647
chatty lady 20267
jawjaw 12025
jabber 9972
Dianne 6123
Latest Photos
car
Useable gifts!
Winter wonderland/fantasy for real
The Soap lady meets the Senator
baby chicks
Angel
Quilted Christmas Stocking
Latest Quilt
Shelter from the storm
A new life
Who's Online
0 Registered (), 52 Guests and 0 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
3215 Members
63 Forums
16307 Topics
210590 Posts

Max Online: 189 @ 09/21/13 03:01 PM
Topic Options
#211327 - 03/01/11 03:27 AM Help me to understand
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
Why do some mothers choose to take children away from their fathers during a divorce situation? And make it difficult for the Dad's to see the kids?

Obviously this is a THORN in my side!

Top
#211329 - 03/01/11 06:22 AM Re: Help me to understand [Re: Di]
Edelweiss3 Offline


Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
Our family is going through this hell right now. That is why my son is fighting for sole custody.
The mother wants to leave the country and bring her daughter with her. As if our granddaughter hasn't gone through enough seperation pains.
Why? Well in our case it's because the mother can't find work here. She has never tried to learn German, so no wonder. Another reason is that jealousy rears its ugly head. Her daughter is more attatched to her father and to us than to her. Many mothers also try to punish the father by using the child as a lever. It's all ugly and hurtfull. My heart goes out to all the children who have to go through this. A child with a broken heart is as bad as physical pain.
_________________________
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
Goethe

Top
#211336 - 03/01/11 01:59 PM Re: Help me to understand [Re: Edelweiss3]
humlan Offline


Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 1341
Loc: Sweden
This must be a new development..right? I imagine this is because your son and the mother have co-custody? But hasnīt it been decided by the court that your granddaughter will live with her dad? I am just asking you questions without helping you understand anything..but itīs not easy to understand..dear friend. I thought all this was decided this past month?

It seems to me that the last word has not been said yet about all of this? Since both parents have custody..your son must be able to oppose this?

So many hugs to you!!!!
_________________________
"some sacred place.."

Top
#211346 - 03/01/11 09:19 PM Re: Help me to understand [Re: humlan]
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
the thing is....later on the mothers will "pay". The kids will grow up, hear the truth from the other side, then based on their own thoughts/observations, will come to their own conclusion.

It's very sad that they "use" the kids. Is this not considered abuse...ab-use....mis-use of the children. They are way too young to experience such childishness because there's marital problems. They have nothing to do with it!

If anyone here was one of the mothers who took the kids away from Dad, and regretted it later, please share your thoughts. No one will come down on you.....just trying to understand it all.

But, maybe there is no understanding.

Top
#211350 - 03/02/11 07:33 PM Re: Help me to understand [Re: humlan]
Edelweiss3 Offline


Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
Iva, yes, my son thought it was decided...but then he got another invitation to see the judge and she said she wants to speak to his daughter...So the decision wasn't final after all. I guess my son misunderstood the judge, or maybe it was hopefull thinking on his part. So, we are still waiting to hear the final decision.
_________________________
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
Goethe

Top
#211358 - 03/03/11 01:17 PM Re: Help me to understand [Re: Edelweiss3]
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
Then, the mothers "threaten" the father that they "will not see their children again"!

What is WRONG with the world?? Do they not realize that what is best for the children is BOTH parents?? Especially during formative years? Where are the counselors? Authorities? Judges who are on the side of the children?

Top
#211372 - 03/04/11 01:05 AM Re: Help me to understand [Re: Di]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
If it weren't for the children who inevitably suffer loss of one parent or another, divorce is a viable way to end the pain of a bad marriage. No one has mentioned child support! What about when one parent, usually the father, refuses to or just doesn't care and pays no child support. Then should he have the rigft of visitation? A child needs clothing, food and many other things and when a father wants to be a jackass, hurt the ex and does not pay should he have the right to see the child/children?

Too bad when a couple uses the kids as levers to hurt one another. Judges need to be more wise then most of them are!
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


Top
#212004 - 04/08/11 01:23 PM Re: Help me to understand [Re: chatty lady]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9972
Loc: New York State
Hurting people, hurt people. "Ex's" know what the other side loves most and uses whatever or whoever that may be, against the one they're fighting. If a couple doesn't have any kids, they
use the dog.
_________________________
"MOLLIE'S FOLLIES" by Bonnie Mill-Lemke, aka Jabber, is available at the Kindle Store and Amazon.com.

Top
#212005 - 04/08/11 05:42 PM Re: Help me to understand [Re: jabber]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3174
Loc: Illinois
Remember that old Willie Nelson song, "You always hurt the one you love?" Well, the concept/lyrics to that song suck, but the theme seems to be true.

Because someone has loved us, they know our soft and/or weak spots and the best way to use them against us.

It's really sad when former spouses fight this way.
_________________________
Boomer in Chief of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com
www.boomerlifestyle.com
www.boomerco.com

Top
#212008 - 04/08/11 10:01 PM Re: Help me to understand [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9972
Loc: New York State
Exactly Anne. But you said it best!
_________________________
"MOLLIE'S FOLLIES" by Bonnie Mill-Lemke, aka Jabber, is available at the Kindle Store and Amazon.com.

Top



NABBW.com | Forum Testimonials | Newsletter Sign Up | View Our Newsletter | Advertise With Us
About the Founder | Media Room | Contact BWS
Resources for Women | Boomer Books | Recent Reads | Boomer Links | Our Voices | Home

Boomer Women Speak
9672 W US Highway 20, Galena, IL 61036 • info@boomerwomenspeak.com • 1-877-BOOMERZ

Boomer Women Speak cannot be held accountable for any personal relationships or meetings face-to-face that develop because of interaction with the forums. In addition, we cannot be held accountable for any information posted in Boomer Women Speak forums.

Boomer Women Speak does not represent or endorse the reliability of any information or offers in connection with advertisements,
articles or other information displayed on our site. Please do your own due diligence when viewing our information.

Privacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer

Copyright 2002-2018 • Boomer Women SpeakBoomerCo Inc. • All rights reserved