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#204478 - 06/09/10 12:34 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: AvalonBlondi]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
This is heartbreaking. Why do parents do this? The kids are always the ones to lose out. I really don't have other suggestions, but please know I'll hold this situation in prayer.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
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#204500 - 06/09/10 10:01 PM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Dotsie]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9984
Loc: New York State
Jawjaw,
Thank you for your prayers.

Dotsie,
Thank you for your prayers.

Eagle,
There's nothing more precious than a grandmother. Hardly a day
passes that I don't think about what my grandmother said or did.
Let's keep praying.
_________________________
"MOLLIE'S FOLLIES" by Bonnie Mill-Lemke, aka Jabber, is available at the Kindle Store and in paperback on Amazon.com.

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#204587 - 06/12/10 12:02 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: jabber]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Thanks again, all. I just came back home from spending the week with my aunt (a 12-hour drive away). We had such a lovely week together.

I haven't had time to get that journal, but am hoping to get out tomorrow to get it. The suggestions here are great. Edelweiss, your suggestion of hubby going alone first is great, I think he'll go for that, maybe next week for Father's Day. I don't have any problem swallowing down the whole thing and acting as if nothing happened. The problem is how it could put the granddaughter in a stressful situation if she thinks it's bothering her mom that I'm there, it won't be fun for her. She's her mother's caretaker and will do anything and everything to keep the peace and to keep her mom happy. She might be glad to see me, but won't show it if she thinks it will hurt/anger her mother.

But if hubby goes alone, we'll have a better idea of how to proceed from there.

I'm so tired. Long drive today. My head is spinning. I think I'll get offline and sit still for a few moments. LOL. I'm glad to be back.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#204606 - 06/12/10 02:37 PM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Eagle Heart]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
Take good care of yourself, Eagle. You are strong, remember that!
_________________________
Follow our story of living, loving and laughing with a debilitating disease:

http://www.multiplesystematrophyandshy-drager.blogspot.com

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#204614 - 06/12/10 05:42 PM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Anno]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Thank you, Anno. I needed to be reminded! I'm feeling so tired these days, can't seem to recharge the batteries. I feel like one of those old wind-up clocks that's all ticked out and can't find the key to wind myself back up again. Time to just sit still and let the reservoir fill up again. I just can't seem to recuperate as quickly from these travels.

I bought the journal...fuschia pink with an elegant heart on the front. Will write the first entry later tonight.


Edited by Eagle Heart (06/12/10 05:48 PM)
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#204626 - 06/13/10 12:11 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Eagle Heart]
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
Eagle Heart,
I'm so sad that you are feeling down again..just a few weeks ago you sounded happy and hopeful...I know how much you love your granddaughter...but don't let her awful mother take you down to her level...I firmly believe if your husband establishes a realtionship with his son..separate from the wife..that things will get better..your hubby should lend his/your emotional support to his son with no guilt attached...Tell him "Son, just know that Sharon and I will always be your soft place to land, no matter what..we love you" As my Mom always said..."shower them with kindness" I want you to feel better Honey...I really do...xoxox
_________________________
Nancy

People may not remember exactly what you said or what you did...but they will always remember how you made them feel

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#204629 - 06/13/10 02:07 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: AvalonBlondi]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Thanks Nancy. I don't think I'm as much "down" as fatigued. It's a real challenge to find enough energy to sustain me through any activity. It's difficult to figure out the "why" of that, which could be contributing more to any down feelings than any other situation. I'm sure this thing with the grandchildren is temporary, and the idea of writing to my granddaughter in the journal is perfect for this chapter of that situation.

This fatigue is ongoing and frustrating in that it's so inconsistent and difficult to map the triggers and solutions. In fact, the fatigue is so severe these days, I'm not even sure I'd be able to do very much even if we were allowed to visit.

I could wake up tomorrow totally recharged and able to leap tall buildings with a single bounce...I just don't know and can't plan anything until we know what the energy level is at any given time. Very frustrating, and yes, somewhat discouraging at times when there are things that I want to be able to do and can't.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#204632 - 06/13/10 05:35 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Eagle Heart]
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
Fatigue is such a debilitating thing..and doctors are reluctant to really look into the underlying causes...are you still taking 3000 MGs of Vitamin D? That has helped so many of my girlfriends and me raise our energy levels..I spent a couple of months last winter unable to get out of bed or off the sofa for more than a couple of hours each day...I feel your frustration my friend...I pray you feel better and recharged very soon....
_________________________
Nancy

People may not remember exactly what you said or what you did...but they will always remember how you made them feel

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#209224 - 11/29/10 02:03 AM Re: Not Allowed to See our Grandchildren [Re: Eagle Heart]
Rose Offline
Member

Registered: 09/05/05
Posts: 71
Loc: Georgia
Eagle Heart, I am Rose and I am back after a while away. Sadly enough I have been through the same thing you're going through. Only....it was my daughter who had strings attached to her children, my grandchildren, and I would be punished by not being allowed to see them....for any infraction, imagined or otherwise. It was devastating because I helped raise them...in between times of isolation from them. I loved and still love them as my own and things are much better. One is grown and the other is 16 so they see me pretty much when they want to. Wish you well. It will work out one way or the other...Keep the faith.
Rose
_________________________
Keep The Faith

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