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#205866 - 07/19/10 02:44 AM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Edelweiss...from knowing you for years now I know what kind of person/Mother/Oma you are and there's no way you've asked for any of this.
In the terms of someone I went and spoke to when all hell broke loose for me...'one day maybe they'll grow up.'
What's weird is I'm not a guilt-trip kind of person...my sons think I am but perhaps we see through eyes of what we are. Maybe people in their lives used it so much on them that they can't see anything else any other way. All I know is some of the things I was accused of doing was news to me...I didn't like having words and thoughts put out that were not there.
Edelweis...it is sinful what your son is doing and it's sinful that he's using his daughter and hurting her to try and get to you. How dare he. Even if you had done something to make him upset, for him to use his daughter like this is so out there that I just can't put it into words. I wish your husband would go over to him and have a man to child talk with your son...I think it's time your hubby told your son to back off and either treat you right or kiss your ass. I know that's blunt, but this has me steaming!
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#205870 - 07/19/10 08:15 AM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
Edelweiss2 Offline


Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 779
Loc: American living in Germany
DD, I'll even buy your very own brush, all sparkly with fairies dancing on it.
You know my door is always open for you. hugs !!!
_________________________
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

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#205871 - 07/19/10 08:19 AM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Edelweiss2]
Edelweiss2 Offline


Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 779
Loc: American living in Germany
Hubby has spoken to him. Our son doesn't respect us. No matter who talks to him, he can't get off his high horse, and ever see that he's the one with the problem.

We can live with it at this time. I find myself going through some emotional rollercoaster rides,...but today I'm fine. We are going sailing, and I will let the breeze blow away all worries and woes.

Wish I could take you all with me. Love and hugs hugs hugs to all of you!
Edelweiss
_________________________
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

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#205876 - 07/19/10 01:59 PM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Edelweiss2]
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
Dee, and everyone else having similar issues, I hope you know that my post talking about "watching what you say" etc was not intended for you.

It was only what I try to do with my kids, based on my experiences with my mother. As I mentioned before, she has no filter and says whatever she wants, from mentioning my weight over and over, to dissing my children because they aren't already in careers (ages 19 and 23, they have time!), to complaining about everything all the time and never doing anything to fix it.

She has very few friends because of her behavior, but always complains that she's lonely. No one wants to spend time with her!

I also wanted to mention that we all have different tolerance levels for what behavior is acceptable from our children, and that's okay. We were all raised with some degree of expectations, religious or other moral values, etc.

For me, if my child told me he was gay I would be upset and it would be awkward, but I would not dis-own him or otherwise exclude him from my life. However, if he murdered someone, molested children, or abused his wife, that would be a different story. I imagine there are mothers out there who are blind to everything, with no limitations on what their children can do and they'll still welcome and love them with open arms.

EW, I like fairies!

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#205879 - 07/19/10 03:30 PM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Oh, no DD...noworries...I knew what you meant and did not take it the wrong way...You're a sweet lady and I understood dearest. We're all concerned when one of our sisters is hurting by a family member's lack of sensitivity. And you're right we all have different degrees of experience in our own families. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did/do with your mom.
It seems to me that our kid's generation has developed a great talent for striking and walking away leaving us standing there saying...what the ???
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#205885 - 07/19/10 04:49 PM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Dee]
Edelweiss2 Offline


Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 779
Loc: American living in Germany
DD...frankly, if I weren't going through this, I would think there are two sides to every story; so I do understand what you are saying.
_________________________
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

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#205886 - 07/19/10 05:27 PM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Edelweiss2]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Okay EW,...made me cry dad gum you!!!
I know this won't ever happen for me...some things you just know and there are other equations in the mix, other people who helped destroy my relationship with my sons...I'm sitting on the same fence as Chatty and EW...sad, but true. But, I love the song and the idea of it happening.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#205888 - 07/19/10 07:08 PM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Dee]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
This is a serious discussion and I am aware how much hurt you all feel. I send sincere good wishes..

I would like to say that people do regress when life changes such as divorce...new relationships...unemployment..and then do move into a more mature state in time.For a man to loose a marriage must be a grief experience..all the hopes going.Finding himself older..wiser perhaps but somewhat soured..he may be hitting at the one person he trusts and loves..You.

Meantime EW the pleasure of sailing and doing the small things in life to make yourself happy create a bubble of good ether around you..Perhaps your little lady "A" will be the bridge to happy things happening..children speak their truth and some of her words may be the arrows that pierce her Dadda'a heart for the better.

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#205890 - 07/19/10 07:37 PM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Mountain Ash]
Edelweiss2 Offline


Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 779
Loc: American living in Germany
I’m so very sorry, Dee. I didn’t want to make you cry. I was hoping this film clip will say, never give up. Never lose hope. And my dear friend, Dee; - Never say never. Like MA said, things in our sons lives will change as well. And they will develop and mature and I believe will finally “awaken” and come back.

Dear MountainAsh, you have appeared several times in low periods of my life, as a true pillar of strength and hope. I find you so amazing. And you always say just the right thing. Thank you so much. I do believe our son will return to us, but still the journey till then is painful, and we parents have to learn to refocus.

We will visit “A” this week at her mother’s place. So that bridge is thankfully kept alive through my DIL.

Love you Dee, sending you a big sister hug.
_________________________
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

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#205895 - 07/19/10 10:43 PM Re: Inconsiderate Kid!!! [Re: Edelweiss2]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I too had faith my younger son would come around and realize how much he is loved and return to me. Sixteen years have gone by and nothing has changed. Now it seems I may be losing my eldest son as well. Apparently his divorce included me too. I hope it works out better Dee and Edelweiss for the two of you. I haven't given up exactly, just put it behind me and am going on ALONE as well as can be expected. I love life and will not have what amount I have left stolen from me by the sorrow caused by ungrateful kids and their bad behavior. I plan to go out laughing!!!
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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