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#199639 - 02/14/10 11:33 PM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: greene]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Greene...I think you deserve more BUT if you are happy, that's all that matters. Sending you hugs!!!
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#199640 - 02/14/10 11:46 PM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: Dee]
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
Di, my hubby and I don't do much on holidays. I have more "stuff" than I need, and cards can cost $5 sometimes - and then do you keep them, toss them?

I think it's more important to me if he does the little stuff, like surprise me with a hug from behind while I'm cooking dinner, or tell me how nice I look as I'm heading out for a meeting. Granted, he doesn't do much of this often, but it feels great when he does.

He doesn't like to express his feelings, and we've been together for more than 30 years. He told me once, "I love you, and if I ever change my mind I'll let you know" It's really hard for him to say 'I love you', for some reason, or to show any feelings at all.

I have learned that he does the best he can and my biggest gratitude is that he accepts me with all my mood swings and new job ideas, and getaways with the girls. The day to day is more important than the holiday, for us.

Plus, I'm kind of a tightwad. I don't do expensive jewelry becaues I'm afraid I'll lose it, and flowers are lovely when you get them, until you get the credit card bill for $60 the following month. I guess I'm not much of a romantic either, so maybe we're a good match overall. If I tried to 'guilt' him into doing something or buying a gift for me, I wouldn't like to know he only did it for that reason. If he does get me something or do something for me, he does it from his own heart, not from guilt feelings I've put on him.

It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, doesn't it? Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

K

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#199642 - 02/15/10 12:00 AM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Dancing Dolphin...Happy Valentine's day dearest...sending you hugs and hearts.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#199647 - 02/15/10 12:42 AM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Originally Posted By: Dancing Dolphin
Di, my hubby and I don't do much on holidays. I have more "stuff" than I need, and cards can cost $5 sometimes - and then do you keep them, toss them?

I think it's more important to me if he does the little stuff, like surprise me with a hug from behind while I'm cooking dinner, or tell me how nice I look as I'm heading out for a meeting.


laugh We still have such cards displayed from 2 yrs. ago. Pathetic, eh? But hey, they do cost money but have cute messages. The spirit is still there with the giver of card. smile

I remember my parents being amused when as children, we asked them if they would give each other Valentine's D. gifts. Of course, that day is foreign to them.

From mouths of babes that is an innocent question, if we didn't notice already how much they were giving to each other daily.

So we went to a gourmet French-style cafe and he treated me to a little gourmet cake and he had his.

Then for tonight I bought 2 gourmet venison and blueberry sausages for supper, just on impulse. He suggested he make a red pepper and tomato balsamic vinegar salad-like thing. i dunno. Another creation of his which will be fine.

So that's our modest Valentine's Day.

that's great you got sapphire earrings, Dee. If I got such a gift, I would seriously wonder when I would wear them. I'm not attending soirees nor am a society gal. I occasionally love getting super dressed up in party dress, but he's not into that (he hates wearing suits now that he doesn't work for a big corporation) and most of our friends....are cyclists. So pretty down to earth group.
_________________________
http://cyclewriteblog.wordpress.com/ (How cycling leads to other types of adventures, thoughts)
http://velourbansism.wordpress.com


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#199650 - 02/15/10 01:03 AM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: orchid]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Orchid...what a lovely day and what a lovely thing that your husband cooks...and what a wonderful meal...you two sound so loving and so sweet. Your down-to-earth day sounds perfect!!!
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#199651 - 02/15/10 01:59 AM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: Dee]
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
Originally Posted By: Dee
Dancing Dolphin...Happy Valentine's day dearest...sending you hugs and hearts.


Thank you Dee! You're a sweetie. I know I would like to have more impulsive little surprises, not necessarily on holidays but all the time. But my hubby doesn't seem to operate that way and I guess I'm kind of used to it at this point. I quite often end up treating myself.

Hey, can you post a pic in those cute earrings!?

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#199653 - 02/15/10 02:56 AM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Love comes in many forms and is shown in many ways...the most important thing is that we are loved for who we are.
I'll ask my buddy Edelweiss if she'll post a photo for you...IF I can get my camera to focus on these things...Happy Valentine dearest one...hugs and hearts.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#199668 - 02/15/10 02:58 PM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: Dee]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
How fun to hear what makes us all tick.

We exchanged cards with written messages added. Every year is different for us. Sometimes we've gone for a nice dinner, spent the night in town, or made a fancy dinner at home. Sometimes we do gifts, sometimes not, but we figure out what we're doing ahead of time. As long as we're on the same page, we're happy.

This year we are knee deep in eldercare and moving Ross back into his office since the fire from September 11th, 2008!

We slept in since we were going to the contemporary service at 5:30, he went to visit his dad while I visited mine, we had lunch together at home, bought candy and took it back to the people caring for his dad, went to church, then had dinner that was prepared by my daughter and her beau. It was a pleasant day.

Dee, I wish I had a neighbor like you when I was raising my children! How sweet to keep them for the night.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#199703 - 02/16/10 05:26 AM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: Dotsie]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Dotsie...you have such a wonderful life...always positive, always challenging but achieveable and alwasying loving. And your children are beautiful...what a success story.
What's neat is they now call me Mamaw. what a hoot!
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#199725 - 02/16/10 09:22 PM Re: A spouse who does not "do" holidays. [Re: Dee]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Hope it's okay to say this. Groovy has an extremely smart
spouse. He doesn't do Valentine's Day. Says it commercialized
and just made up for businesses to make money. Nope. He doens't
do it. So she and I exchanged gifts. There!

Men? I really wonder what makes some of them tick!

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