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#191195 - 10/06/09 11:14 AM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: Princess Lenora]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
I've been thinking about this. I think that before hubby came along, I was incapable of being in a relationship, because of so many insecurity/trust issues. I told him right at the beginning that I would be impossible to live with. He knew all about my dysthemia (chronic depression) and struggles with trust, but he stayed. He has been the solid love I've been able to lean against while working through all of this stuff that I could never have worked through without love in my life. It's been a long, hard road to get to the point where I trust more than I mistrust. But his love has been faithful and true all the way through. It's possible that no matter what choice I made in life, I would not have functioned well, until I made that journey through all this crap. I did, I made it through (because of the presence of love in my life), and am so much stronger and better for having dealt with it all. I think it might have been easier to not be in a relationship, but it was much healthier for me to commit to this particular person and then make this journey WITH him rather than alone.

I think that I'm still incapable of finding the "more" that I think is out there...I'm thinking that maybe I need to be happy with all that I've got first, before there's any hope of being happy with anything else.
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When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

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#191198 - 10/06/09 12:29 PM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: Princess Lenora]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
EW, he'd be a good one to clone.

Lola, it's nice to know you are content with where you need to be. How did you get there? I know someone who is sorta separated (long story and very personal) but can't find contentment where she is.

orchid, I agree. The older we get, the more baggage we have.

Eagle, did you really send it flying off the balcony? Have you read The Wishing Year? I bet you'd like it. We'll be discussing it soon in the Book Club.

I totally agree with you chatty.

yonuh, I know a couple that was married twice, got separated and are now together without being married. Maybe it has soemthing to do with that official commitment?

Lynn, I agree. I would have to have lots of people in my life because I don't like being alone all the time. I'd definetly have to be involved with several groups for socialization.
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#191199 - 10/06/09 12:33 PM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: Dotsie]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Eagle, I think his compassion is what's made it a bit easier (not that it's been easy by a long stretch), but having someone to share with seems to lighten the load. As you know, you are where you need to be. Rest in that.
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#191200 - 10/06/09 12:34 PM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: Dotsie]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
It would be itneresting to hear our spouses or partners answer this question.
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#191212 - 10/06/09 01:31 PM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: Dotsie]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: Dotsie
As you know, you are where you need to be. Rest in that.


My horoscope this morning said "home is where you belong". While I don't ascribe to horoscopes as being a truth in my life, this one stood out and made me smile. I DO know that I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, and am very much "at home" with myself now. It's a good feeling.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#191215 - 10/06/09 02:48 PM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: Eagle Heart]
MustangGal
Unregistered


No, never! Not only for the same reasons that JJ lists, but also because I have insecurity issues. Additionally, I do not want to give up time with my animals.

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#191234 - 10/06/09 08:16 PM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: ]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
You know Dots, I disagree about the baggage thing. As I get older I have less...because I have made it my mission to simplify my life. Does that make sense?

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#191243 - 10/07/09 02:50 AM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: jawjaw]
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
The Wishing Year. What a great title for a book. Gotta check that out. Baggage, who needs it? I'm done with the need-to-rescue. If I had money, I would check myself into Sedona AZ, solo, perhaps horse, of course dogs. If I had money, I would not marry, even if I was madly in love. So, that is the answer to the question.

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#191249 - 10/07/09 06:13 AM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: Dotsie]
Lola Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
Originally Posted By: Dotsie
Lola, it's nice to know you are content with where you need to be. How did you get there?


Everything flowed from simply putting the Cross at the centre of my heart to keep it steady, Dotsie. I prayed for the ability to accept that my marriage was not going to be the indissoluble union between two people. I prayed for the ability to bear and pass the breaking point of a broken heart and not break. I prayed for the wisdom to know the difference between existing and living. And, most importantly, I prayed in gratitude for the marriage I had, as well as praying for blessings to be bestowed on the husband who chose divine love over human love after 25 years of marriage.

Then, I dealt with the Grace of the present realities. I took stock of the blessings of that marriage...my children. I took stock of who I am and the God-given tools I was blessed to be where I was in my life at the time of the divorce. And then, I moved on with no loose ends.
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#191257 - 10/07/09 11:30 AM Re: Would you remarry? [Re: Lola]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
Well, I never did get around to the marriage deal, but would I have a relationship again?

I have actually thought about this quite a bit lately. To be quick about it - I would most likely not go looking, but if something hit me in the heart, I don't think I would run too fast in the other direction.
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