I had a lovelie 10 year relashionship abnd some of the joys in that relashionship was that we played chess together, they tought me othelo. They hated lossing so compitision was a good thing.

we also ran, swam played squash and weight tranned together.I played guitar they played and sang

i reallie enjoyed the activities we done together and it enriched our relashionships and our lives at the time.

oh when we argued and had finished talking during that aftermath or small period of stinted difficult talken when digesting points we argued on we used that difficult time to clean the house together. It resulted in us talking and having worked out our difficulties while we done something productive lol cleaned..

due to work presures we stopped doing stuff together that and work presure broke us up, i see this in retrospect.

what activities or hobbies do you all do with your partners? do you enjoy them and think it adds to your relashionship?

Interesting cleaning house to create dialogue. I never thought it that way.

Things we enjoy doing together that do enhance our relationship a great deal (not just uh..obvious activities that spark sexual attraction):

*Cycling, snowshoeing and hiking together. Seeing new things together.
*Sharing thoughts about work-related stuff.
*Visiting our families ..which is not that often but meaningful for each of us when the other person is there.
*Entertaining friends or being with our friends.
*cooking, it may be a shared meal or we are cooking dishes just to please ourselves but we eat together.
*our weekly meal 'date'...there's a cost limit that we casually impose. It must no more than $10-15 per person.
*Using email, webcam and phone when we are temporarily apart for a few days/weeks. I know this is a mechanism but just ways of communicating is fun too. Half of the time my Skype microphone/audio, is not working so we make funny faces at each other.
*Sharing about cross-cultural stuff. language word games..to test each other's abysmal mother tongue fluency. (He knows more German than I know my Chinese. I can determine this with these games.)

i thought of you when i was typing this out becouse of your closness, shared activities and good comunicasion between you and your S.O. I never twigged that it reminded me of the good stuff from above mentioned relashionship untill a few days ago.

skype can be a god send just seeing the other is good for a relashionship when apart. i am giggling at though of you making funny faces becouse audio is strange thats very sweet. It sounds like you have a nice good relashionship with you SO

yea cleaning to soften up and to fill voide or strangness after an argument.
cleaning needs to be doner and we be together doing something jointly and productivlie with the time just after an argument. Cleaning was done on a saterday anyway but also after a good argument.

Sometimes it made for a very clean house lol.

you and yours do a lot together. :)do you think it helps bring you closer and keep you closer?

Fun topic celtic.

My first thought was how we always eat together, whether at home, in Towson, in the city, with others, with the kids, with friends, etc. Eat, eat eat!

We visit his dad at the retirement community.

Visit my dad and take him dinner together once a week. There's that eating thing again.

He mows while I garden so we are out there together.

We recently painted a room together, though he'll say he did most of the work, and he did.

We do church together, and activities at church.

We have dinner out most Friday nights alone.

We meet our son in the city for dinner probably once every two weeks.

We talk about work, family, and life in general all the time.

We text, email and call during the days.

We entertain together. I do most of the cooking, but he hangs out in the kitchen with me if I want company.

We take walks together and in the better weather we walk our dog at night.

We go to movies - saw He's Just Not That Into You last week. I roared and he snored!

We also usually go to bed at the same time every night which I think is a healthy thing to do.

well my eyebrowes wwent up that you watched that movie together, lol id have had some trouble getting some women to come watch it with me lol. great he did even if he snorred lol.

i though you ment eat as in sit dowen everynight to eat, its a good time to catch up with what everyones doing even if the rest of the days all higgledy piggledy. I feel unsettled if i don't get to eat nightlie with L, even. perhaps that italion thing creeping up in me again lol.

i see how many events you do that dose involve eatting but in my book thats not a bad thing as i am not out at pub thats how i spend a lot of time soicialising or doing cofe...food just makes it more of an event.

Dotsie your last point come to think of it thats a really important one that i would't have been able to put a finger on or count untill someone mentioned it. good one

same question dotsie ...you and yours do a lot together. :)do you think it helps bring you closer and keep you closer?

At least for us, yes those activities do help make our relationship closer. I'm not sure about Dotsie's marriage, but for myself, I do know truly what it means to live apart from a loved one, temporarily for long period time.

Jack and I have had a spell of 2.5 years within our nearly 17-yr. long relationship, where we each lived in different cities, separated by over 3,000 kms. The convenient mechanisms of every day communication do become quite important and what one talks about with one another is important too.

Just the act of cooking together daily is precious, did not occur regularily, when I lived and owned my condo in Toronto..since I made a decision not to move in with him at the time after his divorce.

And yes, Dotsie, some of the enjoyable stuff, involved eating together. I'm not convinced I would enjoy the company of guy, if he was highly conservative in his tastes if it wasn't based on any medical/religious restrictions. I actually would think he was abit of prude. I could never forget meeting a couple --she was East Indian and her hubby, Caucasian. He hated eating anything that was curry. I mean...really...that is the heart of East Indian cooking spicy/joie de vivre.

Come to think of it, a clue to guy's cultural flexibility especially if he wasn't Chinese that I assessed, first began on his natural range of culinary tastes. Part of becoming a well-integrated couple...particularily if it's intercultural and interracial, is basic appreciation of each other's key cultural difference. And food....is important...because it's a daily thing.

lol and if you think that set the limit of what your eatting for the rest of married life, might make one think diffrentlie about being married to that person, well it would me.

in everything you say about your partner orchid their seems a lot of warmth and respect THATS always hartwarming and good to witness in the world even if only virtual

celtic, I agree with you about orchid's relationship with her partner. She speaks so highly of him. It's refreshing.

orchid, I appreciate your comments about a coming togheter of cultural differences. Makes tremendous sense.

I miss my time with D. We are stuggling to find new things to do with each other.

We used to have a night or two a week when we would cook sexy together. Use your imagination.....

We used to have date night once a week - one week I decided upon the date, the next week he would.

We snow-shoed, cross=country skied, swam in the ocean,walked together as often as possible.

We still watch movies together, although we both fall asleep during most movies.

We try to eat together, but I can't eat slow enough to eat together.

We still find ways to make each other laugh.

We travel well together, but it is quite different now.

I don't want to complain, but life is so different for us right now. It is really difficult for us to find time to enjoy life together. It is easier when I am on a break from work. I am lucky that I have many breaks.

I have been thinking about this topic for a while and finally decided to jump in.

My partner and I have been together 13 years. What we do together a lot is talk. Although we have similar viewpoints on many things, there are some things we just agree to disagree on and don't discuss because we are diametrically opposed in how we think on the topic. We love watching nature shows; travel shows; and documentaries then discuss what we saw.

We enjoy movies - different genres generally, but we're always willing to watch whatever the other wants to watch.

We enjoy photography, computers.

I hate cooking so Steve does all that - I'm just not domesticated at all! LOL

We are both early to bed and early to rise; love animals; and we can also spend time apart without feeling abandoned or left out. Steve spent about 18 months working a job in California while I stayed here. We emailed a lot to save money on phone calls!

Oh, and we have a very similar sense of humor!

Gosh, we are together 24/7 so there ya go!

But there are times he goes to Lowes and I don't. We do NOT do grocery shopping together.....only rarely if I beg and he has nothing to do, which is not often.

Market together.....watch some movies (I'm not a SciFi person). Eat, play Cribbage.

Go see his kids together. Play doggie football with all five dogs.
He gardens, I don't. But I did help shovel the cow manure the other day. (got a fresh load!!)

Anno, it saddens me to read that there aren't many things you can do together these days. I'd say talking is probably the best thing you can do, and touching. Hmmm, sounds good to me. I'm grateful you have such fun memories. Oh, I'd never heard of sexy cooking, but it sure sounds like fun. Wow.

yonuh, I like your comment about being apart and not feeling abandoned. It sounds so healthy. Love it.

Di,how long have you two been together?

I can remember with Chet my second husband he loved talking, the bartender in him I guess, and we just never seemed to run out of things to chat about. I loved that. I think I miss that the most and probably why working on the phones(talking) suits me, plus talking through my fingers here on BWS. Now you can see why Chatty fits me so well as a handle. It's who and what I am.

Will be 13 years this Sept. 26. He's been retired since 2001 so more than half our marriage it's been 24/7 for us. A learning experience to say the least.

Glad to hear about someone enjoying retirement together!

Was it a tough adjustment at first.

Well retiring alone is certainly no fun. I never thought about that when marrying a man nearly twenty years my senior.

chats, you sound like you have fun with your neighbors and people at the pool, but I hear ya. I have a friend who never married, but she does everything with her sisters and friends. She's also the best aunt in town so she also takes her nieces and nephew places. I know it's not the same, but at least she isn't sitting home feeling sorry for herself.

Good for her Dotsie. You are right I have a ball with friends and neighbors at the pools. Plus now I have even more people who want to be members of the 'Pedal Pushers' bike club I started and its growing in leaps and bounds. I don't sit around pining away either but it would be nice to still have my special someone to share all this with in a more personal way.

I have thought about this chatty being a guy 16 yrs. older than I. To me, it's not a terrifying thought. And it may well be because I was solo for a number of years before I met him. I also think over time, it just gets more complicated as women and men become older, it's tough to meet alot of men without their issues of the past or personal idiosyncracies that are not easy to live with on a daily basis.

In all honesty, it would be surprising if I should (most likely I will), outlive my partner, that I could find another guy that I could share passionately and contendedly a life with him. By then, I would worry more if he was healthy enough so that we could even enjoy life together.

There are inherent advantages of starting off with a life partner who is reasonably healthy and can participate positively in mind, spirit and body with some shared activities together before time runs out. I seriously believe that one should not wait until retirement to do some travel which requires some tolerance to weather changes, physical activity and cultural changes. When I am sweating it out snowshoeing in the mountains or on the bike, or just hiking...I think to myself NOW is the time to do this type of stuff when my body feels right and strong.

And not wait around until after retirement.
So that's why living in a condo now, so one can spend the free time (instead of cutting the lawn, house repairs,etc.), so one's vacation can be truly spent travelling, not looking after a house.

I think you're absolutely correct Orchid. When I was a widow with one young son and met Chet who was 44, well established in business and could care for the two of us, and did. I never looked ahead and his death never occurred to me.

I do know now what my relatives meant back then when saying, my God girl, he's as old as your parents. I never equated his age with my parents ages, my parents were OLD and boring, but not Chet, he was handsome, oh so sexy, and far from boring. I saw his age with different eyes than I saw my parents ages.
Does that make sense to anyone besides me?

I know now how lonely it can be and how as you said above, these older men I am meeting have issues of one kind or another, usually health, or grown, jealous children.

Just to give an idea the sort of activities which he and I will be doing together next weekend:

We're taking the train with our bikes and going to Seattle for a few days. There's a major bike show that attracts cyclists and wannabes from all over the Pacific Northwest. He has some things to do related to his cycling facility planning biz, go to the bike show and also do some cycling around town. The weather at this time is not conducive to rainfree, warm cycling between Vancouver and Seattle.

We will be meeting up with another couple from Vancouver at this bike show, etc.
_______________________________________________________

I have to say that since I've been with my partner for long time, that I do have a slightly warped / inaccurate sense of how men look at MY age. In fact I don't think I've totally woken up to the fact that men my age..are 50. It's easier to deal with my partner's age 'cause I've been with him for many years now.

My husband and I, like Di and her husband, do pretty much everything together. We hate to be apart and when we are we miss each other like new lovers. LOL.

We talk everything out together and come to understandings when we disagree. We never have to "agree to disagree," we always find that one or both of us are right. We rarely, if ever, fight but did so when we first started up, when we were kids we did our arguing but very little then too.

As kids we used to be in the same room doing different things and felt good and safe even though we were just friends. It's like that now. I love knowing he is around and he says he loves knowing I am around.

If one of us gets interested in something new the other will try it and make a part of it work for them if not all. We are not alike, in fact we are very different but we fill in each other's blanks.

We don't work together but he is there when I dance because he likes to watch and he is helpful with my disability. I went to the hospital to work because he wanted to volunteer there and we both like what we do there.

I'd say I have my life partner here and have when we were kids and he would drive me to a bar so I could dance and watch over me with men so I wouldn't get hurt. We were not dating but he would come to look out for me!

I came to help him when he divorced because he needed someone there, we try to help each other in every way we can.

We also share friends. We get along with the same people and are enough alike that we enjoy them together.

We choose to spend our time together and when apart but only for an hour or three or so we will call each other or text things.

Ours is a love match that everyone who knows us thinks is great.

I am a lucky person in love.

Dancer

Hope you showed this to your Hubby. He can be mighty proud. What you have, dancer, is truly a blessing.

What an amazing and heartfelt love story Dancer. You are both very fortunate to have found one another and that you share the same love. I am always happy for a couple like the two of you but if truth be told, I am a bit envious as well.

Thanks, Chatty, and Edelweiss!

Sometimes I don't post in the marriage section because mine went south many years ago and there's not much to say that I haven't already. But I can answer this one.

We're both SciFi geeks. We watch it on TV and movies. We only go to movies if the special effects are really good -- otherwise we wait for dvd. We have seen the entire SciFi collection of 3 local video stores. We also read all the same books -- one would read first and then pass it to the other one.

we eat breakfast together and give each other news, trivia and weather quizzes.

We go to the gym 3x a week and work out together. All we talk about is our workout and what we're having for dinner that night. Major discussion points about rice vs. pasta vs. couscous, which fake meat, which green etc. Then we go home and make dinner.

Hiking maybe once a month. Used to be more but both of us with bad backs.

He goes to Hollywood Market with me and does all the driving. He's learned a lot about my jewelry so he's pretty good at selling. After market we go out to lunch (if we haven't eaten at the market), maybe shop at Whole Foods, or visit LACMA. Other little trips or activities in that area, as we wouldn't drive there from OC if I didn't have the market.

Season tickets at the local theater. Occasional concerts or other live events.

Not much else, although at least we're not fighting 24/7 anymore.

WB and I met at a snowmobiling club. We bowled together. We RV
and go geocaching together. We go to Bluegrass, Country and Mountain Music shows together. And we go on hikes and long walks.
I enjoyed reading the previous posts.

IMO, for relationships to enjoy longevity, two people need to have similar core values, likes 'n dislikes. What say you?

yep id agree about the core values and perhapps morales (is that same thing)being most important...the rest is just superfisiual.

MB it dose't sound all that bad with your hubbie, sounds like your good companions for each other.

dancer nice storie, good to know.

jabber iv no idea what ..geocaching...is but good hobbies sounds physical.

anyway back to core values? oh and i would add comm8unicasion as well to core values

Celtic,
I agree communications are important. WB is a very quiet person; but, I don't talk that much either, in person. I jabber a lot on here but it's out of character for me in everyday life.

Celtic,
Geocaching is an international hobby; whereby, items are hidden
in a natural setting: like, a tree; a nature preserve; under a bridge; in a forestry; in rocks; under fallen trees. The co-ordinates are given via GPS directionals. Since the invention of GPS's the sport of geocaching was birthed. WB is a Geologist; so this sort of thing tickles his fancy. And I love it too. Since we've been here in Kissimmee, we've traveled over 800 miles, to surrounding townships and have logged over 140 finds. Geocaching is the sport of hide and find by geocaching members. They have it in your country, too. Goggle [geocaching] and you can read about it. Hubby and I are
Wild Bill & Jabber. Luv and prayers,

At this time, I am just yearning for a large fruit juice or large amount of fresh fruit for supper. I am a tad dehydrated. We are in Seattle right now.

How we weave in our different levels of doing stuff together:
I had a huge breakfast at the holiday inn. (cranberry juice, English muffin with peanut butter, cornflakes with skim milk, 2 sausage, some eggs, 1 small yogurt.and coffee. Big and selfish of me!) Hey it was part of the hotel stay. But maybe not a great idea cause...we biked out through downtown lunch hr. traffic in Seattle for about 40 min. He got off to examine a bike parking station and talk to folks there. Meanwhile I stood in long line-up in the sunshine at a hugely popular handmade dried meat and sauage plus sandwich place run by the father of the Iron Chef, Mario Batali. So 2 hrs. later I was eating a huge ciabatta sandwich with wonderful fennel sausage with onions, peppers and tomato sauce.

He was still looking at the bike park station after being there for an hr. So I gave up saving 1/2 of sandwich for him and ate it. He did finish 1/2 hr. later..and bought same sandwich after lining up.

Then I posed/demonstrated for photos he took on ease or difficulty of the indoor bike parking setup. I frequently pose as the "average" cyclist doing certain things or biking on a route for his research photo shoots.

By now, we are both terribly bloated. But ok, with gorgeous spring weather, we restart cycling by the waterfront with Cascade mountains ahead.

Seattle has some long hills. Most coast port cities at least in northern part of North America, means port is at the bottom..of long hills. So I follow him along, while he occasionally stops to consult bike route map. He stops occasionally to take more photos of certain bike path markings, signage, turning signs and sometimes I'm in the photos as the ordinary cyclist. Sometimes he has to stop for me, because I am slower.

We do avoid abit of steep climbing. But some gradual climbing is always required. seattle is similar to Vancouver in this way. We've done only 25 kms. today but now it feels that huge sandwich has been decently burned off in a major way.

I could use also a huge cafe latte for supper. That's all.

That's how we do stuff together.

Geocaching...sounds like fun and intresting jabber great to see physical activities being developed from all types of new teachniology we have thse days instead of just inproving existing ones.

that sound like a major trip or would be in my life so its cool its the normale stuff ya do orchid.

its sounds ideal and i hope you got your frute fix to help wi your rehydrasion.

Orchid,
That sounds like fun, you and your hubby biking around Seattle.
I always wondered what that area of the country was really like.
Never been that far West; but maybe someday we'll get out there.

Jabber, you and hubby would enjoy the western coast. Since I came from the same area as you did (southern Ontario), I was entranced by the temperate rainforests (trees are taller and bigger because of the rain), flowers and other vegetation one doesn't see wild out east. Flowers are bigger and more vibrant. Of course, the wildlife if you know where to go. Mountains of course.

Just come to Seattle and Vancouver, BC area in summer months. Least amount of rain.

orchid,
I believe you're right. The Good Lord willing, I just might do
that one of these days. I'd love to see the West Coast. And I'm
sure WB would, too.

orchid,
Guess if anyone would know, it's you. You're sitting right on
the Southwest border of Washington State there, aren't you?
Always thought I'd like to go to the Calgary Rodeo; even thought
about taking a train ride from here to there. On a world map,
Vancouver and Calgary don't look that far apart; but, in reality
they're probably a good distance. I imagine it's beautiful where you are. I've been to the Rocky Mountains, Estes Park, and the
Grand Cayon. They're awesome!

Jabber:

Here is a Youtube promo of Vancouver.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKSHifUFsZw Alot of the natural scenery and buildings of course are real. We don't live far from what is shown.

I will respond more later after we go cycling this morning for a few hrs. The cherry blossoms are starting to come out all over the city.

Vancouver is approx. 200 miles north of Seattle. Where we live, we are approx. 40 miles north of the Canada-U.S. border.

As you can see, Vancouver is quite different from Toronto.

I've been to Calgary several times but not to the Calgary Stampede. If you are into the rodeo, horse scene... I know the city really goes full out for the Stampede..it's a time for many businesses (if they don't serve tourists), entertain guests, etc. We have hiked, cross-country skied and biked several different trips in the Rocky Mountains, around Lake Louise, Moraine Lake, Banff, etc. After all, my partner had to live in Calgary for 2 yrs. when his employer decreed he relocate or lose his job.

Yes, at certain times of the year we saw herds of mountain sheep, elk, bear, etc. There are other gorgeous, jaw-dropping national parks that we've been to near by the Alberta -British Columbia border --Marble Canyon Park, Yoho National Park and many others.

Within the middle of British Columbia is our wine country which is quite different in terrain than Niagara-on-the-Lake region wine country or New York State.

orchid, your trek and food sound wonderful.

I wanted to share with you that a friend of mine is a rower. She and her husbnad just rowed across Florida with a group of rowing friends. She said it was magnificant. Another way to get around and get good exercise!

Sounds awesome. Wonder if they had to avoid alligators down there.

I don't ever want to be in a boat that small. To easy to capsize and when you swim like a 'stone' like me, thats not so good. I do like rowing however, what a great workout.

It does sound like fun, rowing. WB doesn't like boats. So that's out for me. WB doesn't like airplanes. So that's out for me.
I do exercise. Did any of you see the woman on Good Morning America who is age 103. Gosh does she exercise. That lady rides
a stationary bike from 5 to 8 miles at a time. She lifts weights
better than I do. Age 103. Boy, was I impressed!

jabber, what is WB?

WB is my hubby. That's his geocaching alias: "Wild Bill"; we use
[Wild Bill & Jabber] as an alias for our hobby website. It's a joke. Hubby is about as wild as The Pope!

I thought it was Wonder Boy!

I just joined this site and have been reading responses to this topic.
I have been married for 44 years. Hubby and I are pretty opposite. He is one of 12 (in town) and I am an only child.He is Italian Catholic, I am protestant yankee. He is a golfer. What was I thinking? I know what I was thinking. He seemed so down when we dated and I felt I could bring him some sunshine and lighten him up..again what was I thinking? We're at the point now where we, go to bed at different times, and sleep in different rooms. He's cold I'm hot. We both snore (ha).

We have two grown, independant kids with grandkids all nearby. Grandkids are 5 y.o and under. Two boys 5 y.o. girl 2.
I lost my job about 1 year ago and have lost my life(identity) ever since. I miss the co-workers, and the income. I have tried to find volunteer work to fill the void. I've always worked usually 30 miles from home so to meet with the old friends has to be planned weeks ahead. I know I have many many blessings and I'm truly thankful.
I've learned from my girlfriends, that retirement just isn't what we expected. Maybe it was subconscious, but Our men are not that much interested in doing what we want to do. They don't have the enthusiam we'd hoped for. I've learned that my guy does more with me than some. I've tried to find volunteer work we can do together (Red cross) but the organization doesn't seem to have regular meetings etc. 30 years ago we belonged to a Square dance club, and went camping. I'm trying to stir the camping thing up again, but golf(his passion) would win out.
We have a pool and the grandids enjoy that. To balance out my life wheel I need to reach out and find on-going things to fill the empty places. I belong to a womens barbershop chorus and enjoy that once a week. Women are always in transition. Thank goodness I have a pc. I'm always searching for self fullment. I hope I haven't abused my privilege here.

I'm a person who can self-entertain for ever. I read a lot, I paint,I can futz around the house all day happily. My husband isn't like that. He's more the type to rent movies, grab the clicker and watch TV, watch videos on Youtube... But
In the 1990's he started bicycling with some guys. He had a great time, he rode with 2 coworkers and our son. I didn't care for rides over 5 miles, so when the coworkers moved away, and my son did too, my hubby, lost interest in riding because it wasn't as fun alone.. HE was sitting around, getting depressed, gaining weight. WE used to hike together but he has plantar fascitis, so THAT didn't work anymore. So one day I uncrossed my legs, sat up and said "You can train me to do the Seattle to Portland bike ride" . And he did. Of course he still rides circles around me, and does lots of rides that I will not do. Saturday he's going to do "Death Ride" - 5 mountain passes in California!

So I had to put aside my own prejudice (against cycling) to get us moving together again.
Another thing we did at a point that it seemed our marriage was going south; was we sat down with a calendar and blacked out 1 weekend every month as "OUR WEEKEND" and we both did our best to fill in those weekends with NEW and different things to do.
Two of the more memorable ones for me is; one day we went Kayaking!
another day we decided to volunteer at a food bank. THAT was fun too!
We certainly are not perfectly compatible, we fight about lots of stuff and disagree about things too. But as we are in our late 50's, I can honestly say, our relationship is getting better.
The other day we looked at each other, and agreed, "I love our life, I feel like we're playing house!"

Chive, welcome to the forum!

Chive, welcome to the forums. I love how honest and open you are about things. Have you EVER come to the right place to hear wise words of widsom, such as what Madelaine has just given (and I'm sure others will as well), and to get sympathy, empathy, or just to unload. Sometimes troubles (is that too strong a word?) can see less burdensome when divided.

I've been divorced going on 17 years so while I can't relate to your situation firsthand, I can tell you that we need stimulation no matter what age, 40, 50, 60, and beyond. We need fun, we need to have outside interest, and passions. We still need to know that we matter. And it's just so much fun to learn something new, or explore activities we've always wanted to try but maybe work or raising a family prevented us from doing so.

I couldn't agree more with your desires for ACTION! It doesn't mean you have to jump off cliffs, what is it they call it? Or go swimming with dolphins, (although I would love to try it), but good grief....something! I hear ya! Same here.

I've taken a late interest in cooking. Although I am an author/writer/humorist/gabologist, by trade, I would LOVE to learn to cook something I've never cooked before....or maybe take painting/drawing lessons.

I so admire you for belonging to a barbershop chorus! Wow! I would love to do that as well.

Here's a thought...maybe you could check with your local junior college to see if they are offering any new classes that might interest you?

This is such a fun topic, especially since I just finished writing my class for tonight's teleclass about finding midlife purpose. If anyone is interested, you can register here:


http://globalteleclass.com/scripts/teleclasses.lasso?Dept=003

Welcome chives! Happy to learn that we met in Mystic when I spoke there last year. THanks for the email.

Madelaine. Good for you for meeting your husband with his biking. I always say that we can't be married and slefish. It's often about meeting one another half way. Lots of give and take.

JJ, do they have cooking classes at your local high schools; continuing ed? We have a culinary school here and I once took a pastry baking class that was only three hours, but it was great fun.

Welcome sister Chives to our cyber family of which you have become a member. Oh and no stepping out of bounds around here, there are none, say what you will and someone will reply.

ACTIVITIES:
Most Hopices are looking for someone to come and read to their clients. Take a good book however as they usually have an old already read pile. I also take them boxes of books so they have nice new ones.

Most local hospitals have a 'grandmother program' where you go and rock the babies. This can be so rewarding and the only love they ever get being confined in the hospital nursery.

Some Humane Societys also look for people to be dog walkers. The ideas are endless, look in the local yellow pages you'd be surprised the ideas that can be generated from there.

I gave a neighbor an idea and she posted it on our open bulletin board where we go to pay rent etc. It says:

Lonesome? Want someone to talk to? Just leave your phone number in the box below and the best time to call. I am your neighbor here at the resort.
HUGS,
Barb

When she checked three days later she had six numbers, names and times. That was a month ago, she now calls thirteen people and chats for half an hour. Tells them jokes, sings a song and is having a ball. The list grows each week too.

She called the other day to tell me a couple of the adult kids of these elderly people have asked her to call them from time to time also, so they know whats what with their loved ones, and they are paying her now for her kindness.

Interesting, chatty about your previously lonely neighbour, now with friends. That's great!

Welcome Chives! That all-women's barbershop chorus sounds cool! So the women croon too.

Madelaine, your hubby is more cycling-nutso than my partner. Folks, her hubby can cycle over 200 miles in 1 day.

Chives, I'm 50 without children myself. My partner has 2 adult children from his former marriage and they've been living independently on their own for nearly past decade.

True, like Madelaine, my partner and I do some cycling together if our schedules permit it or we feel like it. He is semi-retired, he set up his own business at home. For some of my former jobs, he used to cycle with me to my workplace or meet me after work to bike homeward. It was just another incentive for him to add more exercise/mileage for himself.

But still, we don't do everything together. I cycle by myself early morning 80% of the time daily, while he's at home working away on his biz or volunteer work. So it's weekends and some weekday evenings we spend the greatest amount of time together.

Today the phone has been ringing off the hook. Several local media want to interview him for a controversial bike project that will start next wk. in our city. Did I really want to deal with his phone calls? Not really, I was in the midst of applying for jobs.

We do have a dinner 'date' every Friday or Thurs., where we have a restaurant dinner that is low-cost or we cycle out for a picnic.

Although we are physically together nearly daily past few months, we have our own activities that we pursue independently. I think it keeps each of us growing but also share a few interests together.

JawJaw, gabologist, someone might beat you on this new role.

Thanks ladies for all your replys and suggestions.
I re-read my post today and feel like such a whiner(1 n or 2 )? I liked "able to self-entertain myself" as Madeline describes herself.
My girlfriend told me that I seem to think "everyone else is having more fun than I am" That gave me something to think about.

I can see this is a supportive group and I know I will enjoy getting my daily Boost from my fellow boomers. With the development of this website, Dotsie has Ensure-d us with the outlet we women need.
Have a great day!

Chives, it's great to get a different perspective from other women. I can't tell you how many times I've walked away form these forums feeling lighter and re-directed. Glad you're here.

I was a dancer as a girl.. who enjoyed music and movement.Scottish country dancing is gracious and tells of our history when married to tradidional music.our team competed and won..bringing home silver cups which were displayed in the Co-op store window.The Cooperative movement provided education in the arts at that time.
Well long story short...my husband is a non dancer..we have gently waltzed and attempted Gay Gordons a folk dance once or twice..We have yearly Harvest Home parties in the village..first year married I was offered tickets and assumed we would have a ball...as the time got nearer husband was getting quieter and I did my usual are you OK anything wrong? I had a totally eureka moment realising that he disliked dance more than I liked it..and for us to go and not dance was silly..thats what love is to me...making someone else happy.
I did dance again...often...working in schools we taught social dance as PE so passed on what I knew...at 35 I was asked to restart the competitions by making up a team as the Coop wanted to encourage young people..so nothing was ever lost..
We both enjoy music and each week listen to a programme called
"Take the Floor" which is..about Scottish dance music believe it or not..he has preferred bands and was approached to repair electronic accordians for a formost player...and did his own wee bit for recordings..ironic that.
so it is not alway what we do for our S.O. but what we put to one side.
Perhaps others have similar experiences..

For togetherness activities we go to Country Music Shows; do geocacing; swim; walk; vacation 'n RV. Hubby and I tried to learn
line dancing. That didn't work. Neither of us dance very well.
But love to watch people dance.

Jabber, lots of people who love to dance but can't figure out line dancing; which can be hard to do, try square dancing. Such fun, easier to follow and still and plenty of light exercise as well. I love it!

Chatty,
My mom and dad belonged to a square dancing club when I was a kid. WB isn't into dancing. And I haven't seen any square dances around these parts, lately. 1st husband and I went to dances at
various town fire halls, now and again. Square dancing is great fun!

Hubby and I square danced in a club for about 10 years....many years ago.
Those were some of the best years of our marriage (for me). We met new people, traveled and it wasn't too expensive.
When we were in Fla. this winter we went to a sq. dance..and watched. We talked about taking some refresher classes when we got home. Since the dances are held at night, maybe they wouldn't interfere with golf. Maybe I'll bring up the topic tonight when we're out to dinner...hmmmmmmm Since his golf games are'nt that good lately, maybe he'll be receptive to the question.
It's all about timing!!!

Chives,
Where do you go when you go to Florida. I ask because WB and I go to Kissimmee every year. We RV it and stay at Tropical Palms across from Old Town, rent a car, and zoom around the Orlando, Kissimmee area for two weeks. WB does not golf, however; nor do I. But that is something I'd love to take up one of these days.

Hey there Chives, WELCOME to our cyber home...

I haven't been on for a while, was just browsing through and saw the Gay Gordon mentioned. I love dancing, too and at a relative's party in Edinburgh a few years ago, was given the chance to dance the Gay Gordon. It was very fast indeed, but I loved every minute of it. My partner was my husband's cousin and he had quite a hard grasp. Needless to say, I went home with a few bruises on my arm, but it was well worth it. I loved it and have danced it again at another party just a few months ago. Good exercise, too!

Hope you are all well.

Expat.
would you believe on an exchange visit to US a teacher friend was teaching Gay Gordons to a class and was asked to rename it
Happy Gordon
did you dance other dances ? Maybe "Dashing White Sargent"?

Gotta tell you gals, I never heard of the Gay Gordon. I still don't know what it is????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmJWf9uk4js
hope this works

It worked MA! What a delight to glimpse into your culture.

It worked. Thanks for sharing. I have a feeling you can get going a bit faster, eh?

I've seen people do that dance, just didn't know what it was.
Thanks MA!

Well the demo was very sedate..at a party/celidh a circle of couples do the dance and it is busier..
Daddys show their wee girls how to do it thats's always cute

Hi Mountain Ash,

I have to admit I didn't know the names of all the Scottish dances we did that day, so I just checked it out on You Tube. Yes, I definitely danced the Dashing White Sargeant, too. As you said it was pretty fast and that is when I believe I received my bruises! Instead of hooking elbows, my partner sort of grabbed my arm in such a way, as to render it black and blue! However, it was great fun and would do it again. (btw, my husband wasn't a dancer either)

As for the change of name to Happy Gordon, I would definitely believe it, but disagree with it. I just think this "correctness" has gone too far.

BTW, did your friend enjoy herself in the US?

Your poor arm.
Sometimes at celidhs a man will try to spin his female partner to "show off"as a former dancer I know how to cope...by using my feet cleverly...one wedding party I outdid the guy..he was wearing arm braclets to hold his shirt sleeves up...so he had a few brusies..the men in dances are often symbolic of stags,..and some primevil instinct comes out..
dance is a complex social interaction...ritualist mating and exihbition...and fun
last week I was at a Palace watching dance..tell you more later..

MA and Expat,
That Gay Gordon 2 Happy Gordon controversy is a little over the
top. The dance is cute, however. It reminds me of the jitterbug.
Love 2 dance!

Gay is a word I miss using it speaks of streamers ribbons fun and happiness.
"The Child who is born on the Sabath day is bonny and blithe and good and gay"
My colleague was a visitor on an exchange teaching post...she had to conform to the ethos in her work place.

Ex pat.I agree I find the narrow mindedness sad..

The dance is the same whatever.

Aaah, that explains his over enthusiasm, MA! This guy certainly falls into that category.

Gosh, Jabber, I remember attempting to dance the Jitterbug with my father! I used to love watching him and my mother dance. Embarrassingly, having just looked at a video of the dance, my father obviously went easy on me, as I don't remember doing half the steps in the clip! I haven't tried line dancing, but remember square dancing in my youth.

A few years ago, I got up the nerve to take Tango lessons and loved it, but it eventually petered out. There just weren't enough single guys to go around. That actually stemmed from being a fan of Strictly Come Dancing! I also remember taking ballroom dance lessons in my 20's with the current boyfriend. We never utilized the talent, but it was a bundle of laughs.

I enjoyed doing the stroll and the twist. Those two and square dancing were about all I was good at.

I've never danced the stroll, but absolutely love the twist! Actually it was through the twist, I met my (soon to be ex) husband. Won a twist contest and he gave me the prize.

Jabber, one doesn't have to be "good" at dancing. Nowadays, it's just a matter of moving your body, really. The important thing is to enjoy yourself, which I'm sure you do.

Hi Expat. I know all a person has to do is move 'n grove but
my hubby is very conservative. He mostly sits out the dancing
and I keep him company! If he dance more, so would I.

I know, Jabber. Mine's the same and I've done exactly what you have done, sat on the sidelines and watched. To be honest, we hardly ever went to parties, so no real opportunity to dance. Come to think of it, the one in Edinburgh, where I did the Gay Gordon, was probably the first real one we ever attended as a family. Most of the time I sat with him, but I did get up when asked. That is why whenever I get the chance to go dancing with my friends, I jump at it.

Actually, hubby is currently in your neck of the woods (Syracuse) at his sister's wedding. Due to the timing of my leaving, the rest of us missed it. Don't think there was dancing, though as it was a small one.

Right you are; Syracuse isn't that far away from here. Think I'd
rather meet you than him, however! Men.

jabber, are you near Saratoga?

I'm afraid my youngest has the Bregel dance gene. We were at a party this summer and he asked me to dance. Darn if he isn't just as goofy on the dance floor as his dad, uncle and grandfather. Watch out... but at least they'll dance. I was tickled to spend time dancing with him and the other guys and their moms. Great fun. It was an outdoor party, on a gorgeous night with a live band (a bunch of young musicians doing their thing) and they were playing some oldies.

Hi Dotsie,
No. I'm on the other side of the state. I think it's neat
you got to dance with your youngest son. I enjoy men who'll
dance. WB just doesn't have the dancing gene. But none of his
family does. WB's brother is more of a wall flower than my hubby.

Why, thank you Jabber. He and his mother are flying back tomorrow and I'd love to hear whether he truly enjoyed himself.

Expat, how nice that your hubby took his mom. I bet she loved it.

Hi Dotsie,

You know, throughout our marriage, I spent more time with her and his father than he did, (if you recall he cut himself off from everybody, not only us) so I'm glad they had some time together. I heard a little snippet through his cousin yesterday, that she had a great time. I'll eventually hear all about it. You never know, maybe there was some dancing done!

Perhaps some fence mending done. Sounds great. When my kids were little and Nana was around a lot during the days, the kids and I saw more of her than hubby. I wonder if that's unusual. I never thought about it. Maybe I'll start a post about it.