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#17406 - 03/29/03 06:20 PM
Re: Body image
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Member
Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 40
Loc: Madison, Wi
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We tend to be obsessed with body image, especially our own. I think we have the media to thank for that. These model types are unrealistic. Photographers have the ability to make them look even better with their magic wand techniques on their computers. I know. I just had my picture taked for my new business card. When I got the photos back I looked ten years younger!!! My boss commented that she paid $10,000 dollars to have that done (face lift). I hate to admit it but I do feel better about life in general when I'm not feeling "fat". I don't aspire to be like I was at twenty but I'd like to be a fit forty something.
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#17407 - 03/31/03 04:48 PM
Re: Body image
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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Just thinking about our generation of women and the obsession with our bodies. Do you think that is partly the reason for all the issues with eating disorders in our youth? Don't get mad at me for suggesting this butI think it could be part of it!
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#17408 - 04/02/03 05:37 AM
Re: Body image
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Member
Registered: 11/22/02
Posts: 1149
Loc: Ohio
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Dots but of course that's so! It's even worse in younger females -- there are anorexics and bulimics in grade school, and 8 and 9 year old girls on diets. It's also very much connected to media images (not just TV, but also magazines). Many studies have been done on the relation between media ideals and body image. it's interesting to note that in countries with cultures that are basically agrarian, being a heavy woman is the ideal.
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#17409 - 04/02/03 06:27 PM
Re: Body image
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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DJ, I have always blamed it on the media, magazines, commercials, sit-coms, music videos, movies, and the list goes on. I just never thought too long and hard about placing the blame on mothers. They hear us talk about our food, walks, diets, exercise, etc, which I think is a good thing, (healthy habits) but they may hear it differently. I am cringing as I type this because why do we have to place blame on any one thing. In fact, we can't. Sometimes you can never figure out the why of eating disorders. I went to grade and high school with a friend and she later ended up in the hospital fighting for her life due to anorexia. I still can't figure out why...
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#17411 - 04/06/03 12:58 AM
Re: Body image
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Member
Registered: 04/04/03
Posts: 32
Loc: Kansas
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having suffered from anorexia and bulimia for over 14 years (and nearly dying!) I wish people knew that in many cases it has almost nothing to do with eating! A lot of the time it is about CONTROL. Frequently the bulimic or anorexic patient is a girl... studies have shown that most cases are girls. And since most are young girls that live at home and feel that their parents have ultimate power in their lives, food may be something that she can control. Remember, I am not saying that this is always the case. The body images seen in magazines and on billboards and television do have an impact. But studies have shown that in some cases it comes down to control. I know some people may not agree with what I have said. Try to remember I have not said I am an expert... just that these ideas are Some of the possibilities. --oleladee
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#17413 - 04/07/03 04:01 PM
Re: Body image
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Member
Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 416
Loc: Alexandria, VA
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Oleladee, I totally agree about the control thing. I've seen psychiatrist say that the control issue is a big reason why many boomers have this problem later in life. They are going through menopause, their children are leaving home, their marriage might not be working out, and food is the one thing that they can control.
For my one friend who had an eating disordorder she said that she just didn't want to stop getting noticed. WHen she started losing wait, everyone would talk about how great she looked and how proud they were of her. She felt that if she stopped losing, the attention would go away. I felt so guilty that here we were trying to be supportive while she lost weight, and yet it drove her to anorexia. [ April 07, 2003, 09:02 AM: Message edited by: Candice Johnson ]
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#217526 - 07/10/12 09:48 PM
Re: Body image
[Re: oleladee]
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Member
Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 156
Loc: AL
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I too have suffered from body dysmorphia- feeling that I am much larger than I am, and have gone thru the side effects of eating disorders there. Once again, this beast has raised it's ugly head...now past the "pause" am finding that my body seems to be out of control, and very disappointed and disgusted with it. I was extremely heavy as a youngster, and took a lot of pain from teasing and such- from both adults and peers, I did lose the weight before HS, and that was a great thing for me, emotionally and mentally. I am really thinking I need some help here, but I am strong minded and I would think I could go past this issue. I am happy with my person, and happy in my life, and the only downside is not happy in my own skin, and I know I should be SO past that. I feel right now like I did as a pre-teen, like menopause was (and really is) the reverse of puberty. It makes me so sad and mad at myself for having to buy larger clothing,(here's the bad thing- only ONE size!) despite daily exercise and same healthy diet. Really down in the dumps at how my body has seemed to being betraying to me, despite careful care. Oleladee, have you gone thru something similar...or can anyone out there share some thoughts? I have been really sheepish to post on here about this issue, as it seems SO shallow when you consider how many other issues many do deal with, but I thought at least here maybe I could garner some knowledge or perhaps a path to enlightenment. Sorry to be such a sob sister mess.
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#217529 - 07/10/12 11:00 PM
Re: Body image
[Re: judym]
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Boomer in Chief
Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
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JudyM, I thank you for posting on this topic. You have revived an older thread, so I don't know if or when any of the prior posters might reply. However, we did a very good teleseminar last month in which Dr. Tara Allmen MD was the guest. She is an expert in menopause and post menopause medicine. Specifically a National Certified Menopause Practitioner. And she posts frequently to our NABBW Facebook page, as well as to her own Facebook page. And her New York practice, the Center for Menopause has a website. Based on what she said during the call, I think she might advise you to consult with an MD who specializes in menopausal medicine. Or this website. Good luck, and let us know how things go for you. Meanwhile, hopefully some of your fellow forum members will have some experiences to share here. Anyone?
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#217537 - 07/12/12 02:29 PM
Re: Body image
[Re: judym]
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Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 601
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I think the changes our bodies go through can be difficult to accept. We all like to think we'll be the only woman whose hair doesn't go gray or whose neck doesn't get wrinkly or who never changes sizes, but getting older is a humbling experience.
I think you might need to some help getting through this. If more of your sense of self-worth has been invested in being a certain clothes size than you realized, any changes can feel devastating. And I do hope you get past this. I know someone whose entire life has been focused on her appearance. Oh, she's super thin, all right, but she's also super nervous and super boring. At a time when other women have invested themselves in their families and hobbies and careers, she's got her size 2 clothes and that's about it. The sad thing is, no one cares what size she wears; they just wish she's be a little more interesting.
I will say that one of the things that helps me a bit is to remind myself that I have friends who are struggling for their lives with illness and that I'm now 3 years older than my mom was when she died. My gray hairs don't look so bad then. Best wishes.
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#217541 - 07/13/12 11:07 AM
Re: Body image
[Re: Anne Holmes]
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Member
Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
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To add to this...when someone invests TOO much in her home by that I mean new things replacing the older just because of current fashion .Then although the house looks splendid there is a lack.A lack of connection to how the person has lived. I call to mind a friend I visited recently..she is replacing a very nice bathroom because one tile is wonky on the floor.I suppose it keeps workmen and companies in work.For me...I like what I have.I replace broken and worn items but never have revamped just because new things are in the shops...
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#217546 - 07/13/12 07:48 PM
Re: Body image
[Re: Mountain Ash]
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Member
Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 156
Loc: AL
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you are really both so right, it is a demon I will learn to live with, and get help dealing with. So much old baggage and that is no way to go into the golden years, with those old chains around the spirit. There are way too many bigger weinies to roast, and I do feel so guilty, there are so many more that deal with so many other more pressing, horrible, things.. I was just feeling really out of my skin when I posted, just really annoyed at my body, and very low. I went ahead, donated everything that didn't fit, went to the thrift stores and got a few pieces that do, and that was a good balm and bandaid for my low self esteem. I know I need help with it, and Moutain ash is very astute. Wish me well, if you would...it's going to get better for sure.
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#217549 - 07/14/12 09:54 PM
Re: Body image
[Re: judym]
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Member
Registered: 09/14/05
Posts: 156
Loc: AL
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in retrospect, here- was just looking for some knowledge from anyone else that had dealt with this aspect. I don't have many friends to bounce this off, sadly, that is just how it is. I can't even bounce it off my dear one. I DID hear what Mountain Ash had to say,and I felt scolded and rebuked. I just looked to here for others to say somthing similar, it's a NORMAL thing. I don't go for the webinars, and perhaps I should. When you live with this, and you live with a perfection thing that is part of your being, ingrained, it's not an easy pass there even with help, especially with the other chains we carry along our path. Good advice, well taken, but really just looking for some more personal input there, those that have dealt with. It really made me come short, thinking OK this site is a LOT different when it used to be- and maybe time to just get off it and look elsewhere for a kindred aspect. Bonjour!
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#217550 - 07/15/12 04:09 AM
Re: Body image
[Re: judym]
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Boomer in Chief
Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
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Hi Judy, If it (your body image) is bothering you, then it is a problem for you, and I'd like to think that we forum members are here for everyone, no matter what they want to talk about. The forum IS different these days, probably especially since Chatty died. But please don't think that we are all callous and don't care about your feelings. We're just in a state of transition -- but then life is always in a state of transition. If things weren't changing, we'd all be dead, right? I don't know anything about dysmorphia, that is a new term for me, but I did look it up online, and Web MD has a pretty good description of it, for anyone else who might be as puzzled as I was. I don't have any similar experiences to share. But I do think that if this problem is bothering you as much as you say it is, it's time to stop trying to tell yourself that you are strong enough to deal with it alone. That's being abusive to yourself. Instead, be kind to yourself --be self-loving -- and consult with an expert who can get you some assistance. IMHO life is too short to waste it worrying over having gained a dress size: as we age, our weight redistributes and other than becoming a "gym rat" (as in someone who lives in the gym and works out constantly) in order to maintain a former dress size there's not much to do except gracefully accept this. I'm sure I'm of this opinion because my first husband died of cancer before he was 45. He never had a chance to see his kids get into high school, much less graduate from college, find careers, marry or have children of their own. When he died, I promised our kids I would take good care of myself, so they wouldn't lose both parents too early. I have tried to do that. Please try to take care of yourself, JudyM, so you can be there, as long as possible, for YOUR family. I'm sure you'll find that this is pretty important to them, too!
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#217551 - 07/15/12 01:26 PM
Re: Body image
[Re: Anne Holmes]
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Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
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Some excellent ways to help modify /cope with our changing bodies. For certain a woman's metabolism slows down a bit even with regular daily exercise. My focus health wise still is on my health, fitness but a whole lot less on fashion clothing. But to off-set my passion for cycling (for Judy: I returned to cycling 20 yrs. ago.), I do have other passions but right now fallen along the wayside/lying dormant. Blogging is the only thing right now. I still have a full time job since I'm only @53. We don't have a car so I get around by bike/transit/walking), are other passions. Focus also continues on being mobile and able to move around to do stuff. Perhaps focus on latter instead.
Edited by orchid (07/15/12 01:27 PM)
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#217560 - 07/17/12 01:14 PM
Re: Body image
[Re: orchid]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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I'm also one of those women who has struggled with body image, though not obsessively so. As a younger woman, I was too skinny (98 pounds at the age of 36). While it seemed to bother everyone else, the only time it bothered me was in church because it hurt to sit on those hard pews (my bum was too skinny, no padding).
Now I'm at the other end of the spectrum...overweight with a BMI that worries my doctor. I seemed to settle in at about 160lb, and nothing I did ever made a difference. Diets, exercise, nothing budged. It wasn't until I had my full hysterectomy in 2010 (due to uterine cancer) that the weight finally began to come off. Even then, it takes hard work and diligence.
Now I've just been diagnosed as low-end diabetic. That seems to have sparked me to make some changes in lifestyle and diet. My brother sent me some ideas of what has worked for him, and I've been following his regime and - gasp - it's actually working! I've lost close to 7 pounds in less than a month!!! Mind you, I've had to cut out almost all carbs, which has been difficult.
I still have to tweak my diet, to make sure I'm getting a healthy balance of all food groups without spiking my sugar. It's been an interesting few weeks. I just added ice cream yesterday (~2 tbsp in a small cone) and was delighted to discover that it didn't appear to affect my sugar. Small tweaks...those 2tbsp (after not eating any at all for so long) were more than enough to satisfy my yearning, while still maintaining my target sugar level.
I think if we obsess about anything for too long, it becomes monumental and too overwhelming for us to face and/or tackle. For me, everything is better if I break it down into smaller more manageable chunks of "do-able". I can't look at more than 1-2 days ahead...or worse, on the failures of the past. I have to focus on here-and-now, today, and what I can do TODAY to make even a small change or small difference.
If whatever one is doing isn't bringing peace, resolution or some sense of accomplishment, it's a sign that we need to change our tactic and try another way...and if that doesn't work, then try another way tomorrow. Eventually we do find one that works.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#217563 - 07/17/12 10:59 PM
Re: Body image
[Re: jabber]
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Boomer in Chief
Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
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Eagle Heart, Thanks for your observations. I am sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with diabetes. I'm not sure what the name you gave it means, but I am guessing that you are talking about some permutation of Type 2 diabetes. I recall how I felt when I was diagnosed with Type 2 -- not sure exactly when that was, but it's within the past 10 years. I was totally blindsided by the diagnosis, no one in my family has it, so I never expected it to be something I had to be concerned with. The diagnosis came about a week before we we leaving on a cruise, and my first inclination was that I had absolutely no idea what I'd be able to eat during the trip. The dietician I had called to make an appointment for counseling told me to simply go on the trip and eat whatever I felt like -- that waiting 2 weeks for us to meet would ahve no impact on me, long term. I ran into someone on the ship who ate at our table, who had been diagnosed within the past year, and he really helped me to calm down about the whole thing. And, thankfully, my situation is pretty mild, so I don't have to count every carb anymore. I've got my eating system down, it works, and my fasting blood sugar number is generally no higher than 102 these days. When I go quarterly for a diabetes consult with my doctor, which I do quarterly, my A1C numbers are always very low, and my doctor tells me she wishes all her diabetic patients could manage as well as I do. So good luck to you, and hopefully you will also sail through this disease with ease, once you get the diet stuff worked out. Of course, Type 2 diabetes is considered almost epidemic right now, and I just read an interesting article that suggests products which contain a substance known as phthalates -- something found in nail polish and body lotions -- may also be causing diabetes. Weird I know, but here's the article.
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#217566 - 07/18/12 01:45 AM
Re: Body image
[Re: Anne Holmes]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Anne, I've been discovering the same sort of thing as you did, re what your dietician told you before the cruise.
I'm very low-end Type 2...my sugar level was 7.1 with 7.0 being the magic line in the sand, so to speak. The first week that I started monitoring my glucose gave me a good idea of what my body was and wasn't handling. Pasta spikes my glucose level like crazy, as does bread to a slightly lesser degree. Walking drops it dramatically. So it would seem that less carbs and more exercise is going to be the best regime for me.
It wasn't a surprise...both my Dad and Mom were Type 2 (Dad had to take insulin shots), and 2 of my brothers as well. So it runs in the family.
That was an interesting article about phthalates...I'm going to read more on the subject. It's very scary to find out how so many of the substances that surround us can be so dangerous to our health!
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#217573 - 07/18/12 11:33 AM
Re: Body image
[Re: Anne Holmes]
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Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
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Hey Anne, maybe think of some simple bicycling (earlier in the morning when not so hot) to help keep the diabetes 2 at bay, plus diet.
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#217577 - 07/18/12 06:52 PM
Re: Body image
[Re: Anne Holmes]
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Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 601
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Oh, dear, I'm sorry Judym went away because she brought up a very important topic. I was out of town for a few days and didn't get to come back with an observation, for what it's worth:
I would never suggest that anyone who has had a lifelong struggle with anything would be able to read a few articles and 'get over it.' But we all have to continue to reassess ourselves in terms of life goals, family, and personal satisfaction. My big point is this: sometimes what we consider to be perfection isn't. Sometimes, it's internalizing a list of 'shoulds' and 'be a good girl' kind of stuff that is very insidious and destructive to the human spirit.
My personal stuff is that, when I see a picture of myself, I wonder who that old bat is. Surely that cannot be me! I'm active and busy and fairly fun; doesn't that mean I should look younger? (Well, no, but it seems unfair.)
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