I don't mean to be a downer right now, but my dad is in the hospital again. He has been doing really well, and all of a sudden the other day he couldn't keep any food (what little of it he eats) down. He has been throwing up ever since. I am afraid the cancer he had in his intestine came back with a vengeance. To top it off, his last test showed his lung tumor is growing again. Needless to say, they are not going to do anymore chemotherapy on him.

He is in alot of pain and he has been in the hospital since last night. They are doing more tests, and he is in Bethesda which is one of the best hospitals. He is in good hands.

I am going to try to get my ducks in a row and then go to him. I haven't told my daughter yet and I am waiting for her to go get Zoey and then her other grandma is going to call me so I can tell Sofia while she is at thier house. I don't want to give her this kind of news while she is alone.

I just do not have a good feeling about this.

Please pray that my dad finds peace and comfort while he is still with us. I want him to enjoy what time he has left. Please pray for my mom, she needs comfort, I am so worried about her. They've been married for 45 years, they were married when she was 16. Please pray for the medical staff and hospice workers. At last, please pray that I am able to hold it together. My mom is going to need me and I want to be strong for her.

I know I am asking alot and I am sorry. But I am at a loss right now and need to get it together.

I'll keep you all posted.

God Bless you dear sisters!

Cathi

Wisdom & Life,
Prayers have been sent to Heaven on behalf of your dad and mom
and you and all family members. Situations such as this are so
difficult to navigate. May God give you peace and strength and
wisdom for the days ahead. Blessings, understanding, and love...

Thank you so much Jabber. I am so glad you are here!

Love and Hugs,
Cathi

Cathi, my heart and prayers are with you and your family. Remember to breathe, and try to stay in the moment with your Dad...when you're with him, just BE and hold him in your loving presence...tomorrow will unfold as it will. Stay in the now as much as you can. My experience, and unfortunately I've had far too much recently, is that you will find the strength and courage you need as you go. Breathe in Life and let it sustain you through whatever the days bring, draw on your faith and lean against the love of your family, friends and your sisters here at BWS. You are not alone.

Dear sweet W&L

Oh goodness honey, I know this must be ever so difficult for you and your family...all of you. Please know that I'm here and holding each of you in Light, knowing that it is there, even when our lives and hearts seem darkest.

Take a deep breath, and another, and another, knowing we are all here and holding you up as you walk this journey.

If you need to talk or need some other support, let me know!

Thank you Eagle and MamaRed,

I have been posting here today and it has calmed me a bit. I didn't plan on it. After all, I have laundry I need to do..., but I am feeling drawn to post here, right now.

I am just waiting for my aunt to get there and she will let me know what is going on. She doesn't over dramatize(SP), nor does she under dramatize(SP). I have already emailed my boss at work, so I am prepared to leave at a moments notice. Fortunately, my parent's only live a 3 hours drive from me in N. VA.

Even though I am actually calm now, I still have a hint of a sinking feeling in my stomach. Not a good sign. I know my dad is headed in a much more beautiful, painfree and comfortable loving place. He is the one I have gone to for any wisdom and advise to this day. I am going to miss him very much!

Okay, deep breath...deep breath...Actually this is good. I can get this out of my system so I can be stronger later.

On the other hand, he is still breathing and there is still hope. I am just one of these people who needs to be prepared or else I lose it...

Thanks and God Bless!

Love,
Cathi

Hi sweet one

Yes, breathe, just breathe. And when the sinking feeling comes, say "thank you for that and, right in this moment, I *choose* to be calm and know I am loved, I am lovable, and I am loving."

Rinse and repeat as many times as needed. It is easy to say that we know they are going to a more peaceful place, isn't it? And yet it is hard to deal with the loss, especially given the relationship you describing.

The laundry will be there...as we all know...so you do exactly what is best for you, the Amazing Cathi with all the wisdom of the world in her heart.

I have just posted in another thread to welcome you back and read an update on your Dad from there, Cathi. I am so sorry to read of the latest on him. Please bear in thought and heart that you and your family are carried in prayer.

Thank you for your prayers, it truly means alot to me. That's the nature of the beast with cancer. One minute it seems like you are in remission and bam...next thing you know, you take a turn for the worse.

I have an update. It has been confirmed now, the cancer in his intestine came back. I didn't realize it could happen that fast. He is still in the hospital and I am going to go there tomorrow night. They are going to try to go from behind and try to remove the tumor. If not, they will do the last resort and operate on him again. I feel so bad, he had just now recovered from the last abdominal surgery where they discovered and removed the other one. However, if it will buy him more time without having to suffer so much, I do not object. My mom told me he is in so much pain though and they have him on morphine.

Thanks again and I love you all alot!

Cathi

Your family's personal intentions will be one of those mentioned at bidding prayers at Sunday Mass today, Cathi.