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#168919 - 12/26/08 01:13 AM Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters
Wisdom&Life Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

I really couldn't wait to post here today and let you all know how much I miss you!

I wanted to give you all an update on our situation...it is good news for a change and I have wanted to share with my sisters this good news so badly. For those who are curious, here is a link explaining our crisis My Daughter Sofia

Well, a couple of months ago I bit the bullet and extended an olive branch to Zoey's family on her dad's side. Things are so much better now and so much had to do with lack of communication. Too many bad assumptions and paranoia.

Even though she still has a way to go, Sofia is doing much better. We all felt it was best for her to move back to Blacksburg. Zoey needs her and they have agreed to equal time with both her and her dad. This way Zoey is able to spend equal time with both of her parents with a short time in between. Plus, Zoey's dad has really stepped up to the plate and I am quite proud of him for his devotion to his daughter. You just cannot say this about too many 19 year old boys. Anyway, we are finding that his mom and I are enjoying our conversations together and getting to know each other better.

This was a rough year, but I believe I am taking into the next year many lessons learned. I had plenty of time to do some reflecting and reaccessing many of my beliefs.

Sometimes I guess God really needs to shake us to get us to stop and take a breather.

Anyway, I really wanted to touch base with my sisters here. This is a bond I do not want to lose under any circumstances. We are a great diverse group of boomer women here, but with one common bond. I believe we are here for fellowship and continual growth and enlightment.

I am doing another thing I never did before and I am actually enjoying this, but this Christmas day, I am all by myself and I've had a very great day! Zoey is with her dad this Christmas, but they included Sofia as well. We didn't want her alone in her apartment and Richard was able to take the time off of work, so he is there with her now. It's funny how things work out, I really needed this day alone with no other responsibilities but to take a deep breath and come here and get re-aquainted with my sisters.

My dad has had some close calls as well and I went to see him last weekend. His sister, who is a boomer woman herself, and in the medical profession came to see him and she was a tremendous help. His spirits are lifted and he is truly looking at his situation on the positive side. I was so happy to see this and I cheered him on and had some good conversations with him.

Well, I am going to do some mingling around here at BWS and see what has been happening!

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi
_________________________
Proud member of National Association Of Baby Boomer Women!
www.nabbw.com

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#168926 - 12/26/08 03:25 AM Re: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters [Re: Wisdom&Life]
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
Merry Christmas Cathi and great to see you here again! I'm glad the situations seems to be working itself out.
_________________________
My handcrafted jewelry:
limited edition designs
more jewelry, plus bead supplies

Poet and essayist

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#168971 - 12/26/08 05:47 PM Re: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters [Re: meredithbead]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Merry Christmas, Cathi. It's so good to hear your voice here again. And wonderful to hear how things are turning around well in your life. Welcome back!
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#169069 - 12/27/08 03:37 AM Re: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters [Re: Eagle Heart]
Wisdom&Life Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
Hey there again, Eagle, I finally listened to your radio interview today. I am so glad you had the courage to share your story! It's helped me get through some situations.

Meredith, I read the post about the gallery. I am so sorry those jerks put you through the agony they did. I would love to hear how they are doing down the road. I would say if this is their standard business practice, they will not be in business much longer. There is nothing artistic about looking at the bottom line. No wonder they are not doing well.

I love you all alot!
_________________________
Proud member of National Association Of Baby Boomer Women!
www.nabbw.com

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#169079 - 12/27/08 12:59 PM Re: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters [Re: Wisdom&Life]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
It's great to hear your voice again, and even better to learn that you are growing with Zoey's situation. God does amazing things to crack our hearts open at times, doesn't he?

I'm sorry to hear your dad is still suffering. Has he had any breaks of wellness?
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#169102 - 12/27/08 05:11 PM Re: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters [Re: Dotsie]
Wisdom&Life Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
Yes He does Dotsie. I started reading Joyce Meyers on the forgiveness issue. Then it seems like I kept running into that subject no matter where I would go. Then Richard piped up one day and mentioned, "Why don't we try to mend some fences with them? This fighting is just not worth it". I was so happy to hear him say that because it was a burden lifted off my shoulder and that was the "permission" or "sign" I needed. Now the rest is history. Communication is the key to everything and it turned out there was so much misunderstanding on both parts. I found out Sofia told them something at that time out of anger and they took it seriously. Now I can see why they were very protective and I only wished they would've said something to me in the beginning and I would've alleviated their fears. She told them we were going to take Zoey and go to Greece. No wonder they were protective, but Sofia has a habit of not thinking before speaking. She didn't literally mean it, but this type of scenario has been known to happen and they saw this as a strong possibility.

I thought this woman wanted Zoey for herself and would do anything at all cost to make that happen. When I finally admitted that to her. She told me she prefers to be a grandma and has had her children. It's amazing when we do not do the simple type of communication how it can lead to misunderstandings and distruction.

My dad has had some close calls since May. My parent's went to Greece for about 3 months, and the doctor gave the okay for the travel. Unfortunately, after he arrived there he got sick. At first they thought it was a stomach virus. Then he seemed to get better, only to turn around and have it come back and get worse. Needless to say, they had to cut their trip short. Upon his return they did an MRI and they couldn't find anything. And he started to feel better again and was able to eat. They suspected parasites. Then in September, he became worse. This time they decided to operate on him and see what he had in there. It turned out he had a tumor in his intestine and it was cancerous, but they were able to remove all of it. Of course, he had to recover from abdominal surgery. I have had two and I know it is not a quick recovery, so imagine in his condition how hard it was to recover from it. Then he seemed to get weaker and his skin was turning yellow. I was afraid the cancer may have spread to his liver. It turned out his blood level was very low and he needed a blood transfusion. This was three weeks ago. He has since been going through chemotherapy again and his spirits seem to have been lifted. He does have to have oxygen, and he cannot walk far, so he needs a wheelchair. They do have a hospice nurse who comes in and helps my mom take care of him.

I went to see him the weekend before Christmas and I was so happy to see him with color on his face and in higher spirits. He told me, he has accepted the fact that he is going to have to use the wheelchair and oxygen. Now he does not stay in bed, he gets up and comes down the stairs and spends his day in the family room. Anyway, he says he will make the best of it because he wants to enjoy what time he has left. Oh and another thing, my mom helps him get ready in the morning and helps him get ready for bed. He told me that was his favorite part of the day because of the closeness with my mom. That was so sweet to hear him say this. I told him to take advantage of the pampering and that is how he is looking at it.

I have always been a firm believer in having the right attitude speeds up anyones recovery.

Thanks for asking Dotsie, you and the rest of my sisters here have been with me during this whole ordeal and I am really blessed.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi
_________________________
Proud member of National Association Of Baby Boomer Women!
www.nabbw.com

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#169251 - 12/29/08 01:09 AM Re: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters [Re: Wisdom&Life]
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
its good to see ya back and thanks for updating us all cathie .
_________________________
"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn

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#169283 - 12/29/08 02:13 AM Re: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters [Re: celtic_flame]
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
Cathi, as far as the gallery -- I did my best, and it's their loss. Sometimes we need to try, and then move on.

While reading your above posts, what stands out is how close and loving your entire family is. I'm sorry your father went through all that, but the love and support he gets from everyone surely is a blessing.
_________________________
My handcrafted jewelry:
limited edition designs
more jewelry, plus bead supplies

Poet and essayist

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#169311 - 12/29/08 01:27 PM Re: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters [Re: meredithbead]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
Cathi, how wonderful to see you again.

Communication is key, you are absolutely correct. I am happy that life is beginning to work out for you again.

Best wishes to your entire family.
_________________________
Follow our story of living, loving and laughing with a debilitating disease:

http://www.multiplesystematrophyandshy-drager.blogspot.com

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#169335 - 12/29/08 03:05 PM Re: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays My Dear Sisters [Re: Anno]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I'm so glad to hear the barriers have been broken and everyone is getting along much better. I'm sure it's been hard because it's your daughter's life, but you needed to step in and help her. Then, as parents, we don't always know boundaries with the amount of help that is actually needed. Sounds like you've found the balance. Good for you.

I'm sure watching your dad suffer has been extremely tough, but you are fortunate your parents get along. I've heard stories of couples bickering their way through illness and that's so sad. I'm grateful your dad still has your mom and all of you to help care for him. At times like this, we have to count our blessings.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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