Of course if the X is someone hatefull, then eeeee....don't let him in! But I know more peacefull divorced couples then the other way around. My brother and his x wife, get along better now, then when they were married. So, it's all about the relationship. An X doesn't have to be a number one enemy.

Princess made some excellent suggestions. Yes, giving him a moving date is good.

Okey,...I'm going to start a list on how to gross your x...to MOVE out!

1. Spread itching powder in his bed...(hee hee hee)
Any other suggestions?

what the heck is going on?

does he like dogs? if not, let them sleep in his room .

can your church assist? i.e., resources for another home? if he collects unemployment, perhaps he could room with another and sign a contract for rent/utilities?

chatty, although your decision, wish you could rid yourself from this person forever.

Chatty,
Is this person gone? I hope so. The curb is where he belongs.

Dancer

Chatty -- how but getting him into the "system" like a temporary homeless shelter? Contact a social work agency?
Just me being my practical self.

i was just thinking the same, i know the benifits systems are diffrent in uk and usa but still their are homless shelters everyweer and since they are so uncomphortable (heer anyway, hay it got that good for me and L twice) that it sure as hell help move him on. Id may have advised someone to get them to move on before as we all know the answeres looking at someone elses circumstanses. Id never have put some one out on street but i would now, or at lest iv finalie learned not to let them in in the first place.

i feel reallie torn for you chattie and what a delema, as he is their now perhapps all round easier not to have let him in but their now. I get suckered just the same way, time and time and time again and still i wondered when i would learn. I also hear ya when you say your trying to do the good loving christion thingie, i make same mistake onlie its the good loving spiritual thingie. either way it can hurt and i know what its like to over worrie for someone just i could't relive some people of their responcibilitie for themselfs anymore but hay looks like i doing it. A couple weeks before christmass i heared of an imposible circumstanses then was approched to solve it and i took all my guts in hand and said said NO! can;t help you heer, end of storie. Otherwise id be in same circumstanse your in now.

i am not sure what talkings left to be done for you and im just chipping in my two pence worth and emphasing with ya as i currentlie skirting around the same delema and it aint prettie. So my harts hurting for you and for me.

I also think i know you enough to imagine how hard it was to wright and show yourself in this way as you always are a coper and a doer, thats why people like this come running to people like us (and the rest of you reading this, weer it applies lol)

I did read in one of your last posts that you was asking for preyers and overand above chatting then thats about all that can be done for you from this far away, so take it as given and preyers are on their way. I hope a solusion presents itself soon, take care and gods love to you.

These are all good thoughts. Maybe the best way to assist him is to help him get assistance. It sounds like he should be able to do so.

chatty, is there any part of you that likes the company? Just wondering because I know you're a people person. Is there anything you can muster up that makes it okay in your mind for him to be there? If so, it might make you feel a little lighter and better to focus on that while he's there.

It's a new year. Maybe you can use that as an excuse for making changes...

Well Dotsie a part of me likes his company and his being here about as much as I would like an eight pound ugly tumor growing in the middle of my forehead. I think I had to do so much understsanding and accepting his excuses for literally every lie he told me and things he did that my acceptance is so all gone it isn't even an option.

I will take all your suggestions to heart and this subject will ot be brought up again by me anyway, until there has been a resolution one way or another. Not now but in the past we've had some women state a problem and get good advice and then state the same problem over and ovewr again until we were sick to death of them and their problems. You long time posters probably remember some of them. I will 'NOT' become one of them and will go with the flow until I can change it. I appreciate all of your suggestions.

One of you, or two, asked me why I ever took him in again to begin with. Well one morning a cab pulled up and he got out, the cab driver helped him to my porch. He had almost his entire face bandaged. He had had a mini stroke behind one eye. It was full of blood to the extent the eyeball couldn't even be seen plus there was a lot of blood in the other eye. He couldn't see, he couldn't drive, couldn't do hardly anything for himself but the VA (their all heart) sent him away because they were space limited. He was very dissoriented and begged me to allow him to stay. He was so pitiful looking, like a dog having been thrown from a moving car so I did.

Then when he went back to work weeks later, he found out he had been downsized along with 14 other people.

And so the saga, "as the stomach turns," continues...

Oh! Well, good luck in whatever you decide to do! We're all with
you, behind you, and praying for you! Blessings,

Chatty...you're not a whiner..and so what if you were? This is the place to unload our troubles, frustrations and vent. So, if you need to come back everyday to vent, then do so. It's easy for us to give advice...we're on the outside looking in...but, when you're in the middle of a dilema, it's different.
You will do what you need to do when you need to do it. I'm sending my angle hugs your way...

Hang in there...