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#159775 - 09/13/08 11:54 PM Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? [Re: dancer9]
Louisa Offline
Member

Registered: 07/11/04
Posts: 2132
Loc: MA
Now I understand better. I didn't know more than one person could be on one trust fund. I don't know much about these things. I know my former father-in-law put his house in a trust for my children after his wife (their grandmother) died. The house was always to go to my children eventually, but her remarried (at 84 years old) so his son made sure he put the house in a trust so it was procected. My son now has the house. I can see that you would need it to care for your mother. I would also think that New Orleans isn't that safe right now. They are probably right. How did you injure your neck? Did you have a specific accident or was it something progressive from repettive motions?

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#159781 - 09/14/08 12:30 AM Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? [Re: orchid]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I have done both, given sanctuary to someone in need and also given money to someone in need, actually many someones. That is in the past, as my financial situation changed when my ex drove me into the ground of financial uncertainty. He maxed out my credit cards, wrecked my car, spent like a drunken sailor until I was in debt. It was during this time I realized how cold and selfish others are. There was no one there for me after the divorce, just lots of smug looks of I told you so, which no one did by the way.

Well, I am far from ther generous person I once was and I do what I can for those I care about but it usually doesn't mean giving cash. I do without much myself now and so take things slow and careful. I so wish I had what I once had and could be as generous as I use to be, it is fun for me to make people happy....
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#159851 - 09/14/08 08:27 PM Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? [Re: chatty lady]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Orchid, Chatty, yes, I must learn to manage my money better when it comes to others. I over spend on my friends and yes, I gave money that was not needed more than once.
I have given money that has helped real people before, but I've been burned more than helped. I have been trying to be better at that with the help of my husband.
My husband makes enough to support us both, by the way, so he would and has not taken from me.
Louisa, I broke my neck dancing both times. I am also a gymnast, I dance ballet, jazz, modern and hip hop. I do not tap, lol.
I was in the air about 4 feet recently and could not decide in that split second whether to flip or to land on my feet and I ended up falling those four feet onto my neck and head.
If I had been one of my dancers, I would have called an ambulance poste haste, but it was me so I asked my son and husband for ice and iced it.
As I moved about the next week or so, the bones shifted and I hurt my cord.
I had stenosis badly in that area and had gone undiagnosed for many years. When I went to the doctors, they thought I could not be the dancer I was will and REAL problems so they called my pain stress.
When this last fall happened, they found severe stenosis and had to operate.
I have a donor bone in my neck that is fused.
It's a long and traumatic story and thanks for asking.

Dancer, who is re-thinking teaching.
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#166540 - 11/26/08 08:47 PM Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? [Re: orchid]
Josie Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1211
Loc: NJ
Hi Dancer. My close friend has a similar trust fund. When her wealthy dad passed on, he made the bank trustees to all his money so even his wife (a working scientist) had to ask permission from the trustees for certain major purchases.

Then when my friend's mother died, the trust passed to my friend and her two siblings with the same restrictions. The principal is never to be touched, and they each get a monthly set amount to live on. (My friend also works full time and lives modestly)

I forget what type of fund it is called, but the bank to this day controls the money. I guess back in the 40s and 50s, men with assets felt that women could not control their finances well.

I told my friend to get a lawyer and break this deal up, but I think she thinks it would be too much of a hassle.
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#167248 - 12/08/08 11:00 PM Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? [Re: Josie]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Josie, bless your heart! Thank you for understanding what type of trust I have and why I might get frustrated!

I have, in the past, have a hard tim explaining it to the forum.

Thanks again,
Dancer
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http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#167299 - 12/09/08 04:57 PM Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? [Re: dancer9]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
dancer, I'm seeing this for the first time. My MIL lived with a trust. She often had the same issues you are experiencing. She received monthly checks, but whenever she needed more than that, she had to approach the trustees. I recall her having doctors write letters for her at times so she could break the trust. It was pretty tricky because it all depended on the hearts of the men (in her case) and what they thought was best for her. Fortunately, they managed it well and she was able to live an a nice retirement community at the end of her life. I do recall her being frustrated becasue it was her money, but she couldn't always get to it, which was a good thing. She had a heart of gold when it came to helping others, and loved to shop.
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#167340 - 12/09/08 10:55 PM Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? [Re: Dotsie]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Thank you for posting, Dotsie. Yes, my trustees are supposed to be there to protect me and that can get on my nerves. They are generous with me for the most part but let a man in my life try to get a loan from it or money out of it and they go nuts!

My sister was kidnapped for money and the trust protected here and my cousin was also kidnapped and it was for money as well. Both times the money in trust helped but in my cousins case, she had to escape because they planned on blackmailing my uncle.

My sister's kidnapper tried to blackmail my father for money and then called me trying to tap the trust to "save," her for money,'
The trustees refused to pay, telling him to "keep her," if he wanted money and sure enough they let her go. They were not violent though.

It has protected me from my own generosity, yes, but I wish often that it would be more open to my husband and others in my life. For example, I may want to take a trip with a friend but it won't pay for that friend, only in the case of friends they approve of will they pick up the check!

THEY decided whom they approve of too!

Thanks for letting me get some off my chest,

Dancer
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"Question your privilege"

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