I was married to "Saint Francis" for about 20 years. Short and round and very attentive to me, he was the kindest man with a heart of gold. Every year he gave 20 turkeys to our church for the poor. While I worked nights as a nurse to put him through college and save for our home, he was working days, first in the Navy, then as a student, then as a programmer. Between us, we raised our son with solid family values.

One night "Saint Francis" came home to tell me he met a young Oriental girl overseas, they fell in love, she was having his baby, and he was leaving me. I took his vital signs and told him he was having a stroke but I'd get help for him right away. lol Only he was not having a stroke. He was having a midlife crisis.

Assuring me he absolutely did not want a divorce, that he would live with her in Hong Kong "only for awhile," and then he would come back to his family, I sent them chocolate chip cookies as a reminder of his family here. Yes I did. Tins of chocolate chip cookies....The kind lady at the post office, who knew my story in our small town, said she felt so sorry for me, trying to keep my family together with tins of cookies when it was obvious his actions did not mesh with his words of continuing love for our family.

After almost 2 years, there came the sudden demand for a divorce, so he could get her immigration paperwork in order and they could be married. I had rugburn from bouts of scream-crying face down into the shag carpet.

Following the divorce, he stopped all financial support and I was on my own and in shock. I had suffered severe stress from all this and did not know if I could ever work a job again without shaking from panic and anxiety.

Every day I went into an empty church and eventually asked God to send me someone who took marriage vows as seriously as I did. Within 2 weeks my prayers were answered.

My son had shown me how to use the Internet at a time when it was in its beginning stages and few women were on there. Guys seemed to be looking for someone with "the right measurements." One fella heard I was a nurse and said I would be the perfect wife to take care of him in his wheelchair. Jeepers! Another met me in a public place and said my ordering a junior ($10) steak from the menu made him realize why I was not skinny, and why I should be eating two prunes a day to get "regular." When I demanded he take me home, he groped me in my driveway and said sex would cure me. Holy sleazebucket!

One day I was in a New Jersey chat room and came across a really nice guy, who told me his personal story. He went through something similar to me, in that his 23 year marriage went kaput after his wife left him to go "find herself." Translation: She moved in with a guy.

After many 6 hour online and phone conversations, he asked me out several times before I accepted. We met on the eve of Valentine's Day in a restaurant near my home. I knew what he looked like from a picture he emailed me, but he had never seen a picture of me, since I had no idea how to send a picture. He was 6.5 yrs younger than me, and cute as a button. I was roundish and wearing glasses. Not exactly Ms. Glitz!

He was late getting there, and while I was waiting for him (He got lost trying to find the place on his 2 hour drive), I helped this elderly lady who had fallen and cracked her head slightly. She was bleeding profusely from this tiny wound, and I was on the floor with her holding an icebag in place. Her 4 elderly female companions with canes asked me why I was alone. I replied that I was waiting to meet a man I had met on the Internet. They all became very concerned about a nice "young lady" (age 46) like me possibly meeting up with "Jack the Ripper" and they asked if I wanted them to wait with me as group chaperones.

I could picture that scenario and graciously declined their offer. After assisting them into a taxi, I looked at myself and shook my head. There was blood on my coat and I was soooo disheveled. My hair was a sight and my Maybelline eyebrows had half melted off. (I lost my Brook Shield eyebrows many years ago due to a pigmentation disorder).

I was about to leave when Guess Who walked in, apologizing profusing for taking a wrong turn and ending up in Pennsylvania, the next state over. Since he had just moved to the Northeast and didn't really know his way around, I forgave him. He said, "You must be Josie." Since he said it with a smile on his face, I figured I must have some redeeming visual appeal apart from my wrinkled clothing.

Once shown to our table, I peeked over the menu and giggled several times. He was sooooooooooooooooooooo cute! And he said I could order the biggest filet mignon they had. The man had passed his first in-person test: no mention of prunes. lol

We closed the place and then went to an all-night restaurant where we talked more over coffee. When it was time for him to make that 2 hour trek home, it was 1:06am Valentine's Day, and was starting to lightly snow. He kissed me lightly on the lips in the parking lot and my feet lifted off the concrete.

I drove home knowing this guy was too special for words. And he later said I had hit him like a ton of bricks from the instant he met me. He was not looking for a wife, yet we were almost never apart after that fateful night.

We just celebrated 11 years of marriage on the same day my son got married recently.

And every year we go back to that same restaurant and have our special anniversary dinner at that same table when possible.

Remind me sometime to tell the story of how he proposed. It's something else!

A thanks to my dear best friend & sister Ellie who made me go to the restaurant on that night long ago when I had an attack of fear and almost did not go. Ellie was the one who actually gave me the courage to meet my honey, and she was my maid of honor at our wedding a few months after we met. She had little money for a fancy dress, but she looked very very pretty in her Sunday best. At the time, I had no idea she would wear that same dress when we buried her 10 months later. She died tragically at age 46 and I will never forget that she was the one who, with God's help, brought me and my "Knight in Shining Armor" together.

Thank you God, for reminding me that no matter how dark life can be, you still have rainbows to make.

Josie, I was totally enveloped in reading your story. It was moving. I am so happy for you.

I skimmed back through this thread to make sure I hadn't already
posted this stuff. I met my first husband in High School typing class. My second husband I met at snowmoble club functions. They're opposites. Guess I've said that before. I know Chatty said, never say never. I like marriage, most of the time. Sometimes that gender thing, where they're always right and
you're always wrong, gets in the way. But generally he's a good
guy. I respect and admire him. And I'd say, 95% of the time, I'm
very, very happy. But nothing in life is 100%; we know that, right!

Josie,
Sorry about Ellie. And glad she brought you together with your knight in shining armor. I know divorce is difficult. Been there.
Done that. But I'm glad God gets us beyond some hurts. We don't forget. But some things, we learn to live with. Prayers and
blessings,

Josie, what a touching story. Sorry to hear about the loss of your sister, one who was so involved with your life, one who knew you too well to let meeting Mr. Wonderful slip by. I'm sure living without her has been a huge adjustment. By how grand that God gave you your hubby prior to taking her home.

What a great story. I hope single women who are interested in meeting someone to spend their lives with will read this post and feel hopeful.

Having experienced the sudden death of a marriage, my parents, one brother and two sisters, I know all too well how fragile life is.

I am so thankful for this blessed time of happiness with my husband and newly married son.

When people ask me about the Internet, I sing its praises, for it is how I got a new lease on life .... new husband, new house, new car, and Lord knows how many eBay bargains! lol

Josie, I just read your story and I must say, it warmed my heart. It sounds like a story one would read in Reader's Digest, or some other periodical that would grab the reader's heart and fill it up!

Thank you for sharing this personal side of your life. I want a man like your hubby.

I don't say that often. I know of four other people who have hubby's that I would love to clone. Ross is one of them, yours, my own dad (who is now deceased), and another friend of mine's.

How blessed you all are!

You are most kind, jawjaw....

I don't know if you are actively seeking a husband, but if you want a good one, there are some really neat ones out there. Of course, you may have to get past a few dorks to get a good one, but such is life...

I lived a quiet life back in the mid-nineties: church, the market, the library, and the gym. No bars for me. And since I enjoyed mostly indoor activities, I figured the computer was a good place to "meet" people.

When I was "looking," I was very up front about what I was looking for. Gone are the days of being coy for fear of scaring men off. If Internet fellas have enough chutzpah to ask for your measurements, I think we can dodge that question and let them know we are looking for a good time ....legally and forever! lol

I kept index cards on guys who intrigued me (so I could remember who was who,) and only spoke long term to those who lived within a few hours driving distance. No sense in contending with long distance relationship issues. I tried it once, and the whole thing blew up in my face.

Those few who passed muster would eventually graduate to a phone relationship (press *67 before dialing and then they can't see your phone number)

Out of several hundred men, I agreed to meet about four of them in a public place. The last one was the charmer.

Neither of us are perfect people (Who is?)....but we are middle-aged teenagers going through life together. I pinch myself at my good fortune.

All you have to do is reach out and make that first keystroke. There are sooooooo many guys in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond out there, looking for a good woman.

Some are womanizers, bunches are married cheaters, some are out to take you for anything you have then dump you. But there are still some lovely men who tell me they cannot seem to find a good woman online. Apparently there are some pretty aggressive women who now fall into the same categories as described above.

What I say to all: If you reach out, eventually the right one will find you. In fact, they are looking for you as we speak....

Oh Josie - your story is so beautiful! God has indeed been directing your life and meeting your needs. Your 'knight in shining armour' is truely your soulmate. Isn't it nice to know that when one door closes, God opens another to help us through this life?

So glad you posted this - fabulous.