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#15331 - 11/08/05 10:30 PM Thank you, Dad!
flipperjo Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
while in the current affairs/rosa parks forum, i wrote about an incident where my dad taught a treasured lesson about racism. we lost Dad a year ago to his long-time battle with post-polio syndrome and other health issues. i wrote the following tribute to him shortly after his funeral. I also had the privilege of co-writing his obituary with Mom and a sister:

Thank You, Dad!

I grieve today for my beautiful daughter, Melissa, as I have for the last ten years. I also grieve today for my Dad, the man who taught me so much about the journey. Dad recently left us to be with Melissa and his Lord.

Dad and Mom have been ever near me, sharing my sorrow and tears since Melissa died. Their prayers have kept me close to Jesus when my own were too angry to say. They have shared their memories of time spent with Melissa, letting me know how precious she was to them, too. Just as they did when I was a child, they have continued to let me know that they love me and accept me, however much my loss has changed me.

As a child, Dad lost his own father, and then was stricken with polio. He grew up during the great depression. In spite of these early challenges, bitterness and self pity never became a part of his life. The youngest child of a loving family, he was encircled by their love and affection, principles and faith.

Dad married his neighbor girl and together they continued the traditions begun so early in their own lives. They provided my siblings and me with stability, faith, humor, fun, and fortitude.

Dad never considered himself handicapped. He never whined or complained about the physical weakness caused by polio that continued to afflict him until he died. And Mom taught us, in her own subtle way, to help and support him without making it an issue. Together, they raised a family, developed and ran two businesses and then retired with a sense of accomplishment and joy in each other. I will forever be filled with gratitude to Dad and Mom for their example of courage and true grit in the face of life’s challenges and for the ability to find joy as they embraced it all.

Melissa’s death has ravaged my soul and torn at the very core of my being. I am forever changed and I am forever the same. How I perceive the elements of my life is different than it was before. How I cope with those differences will never change. I will continue to do my best to live up to the example of faith and courage set by my dad – always the victor, never the victim.

Dad’s arms held me as I stood at Melissa’s grave the day she was buried. On October 11, 2004, his arms held her as I stood at his grave. The spark in his eye, the wisdom in his words and his joy in a life well lived will bless me until I am in his arms again.

Thank you, Dad! I love you and miss you.
jo

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#15332 - 11/09/05 10:51 AM Re: Thank you, Dad!
Vi Offline
Member

Registered: 05/21/05
Posts: 252
Jo,

You are indeed a writer. Having read two of your pieces now, I really am wondering if you are being called to write - to help others this way. Tragedy can lead us to the high road. It did me.

Love and comfort,

Vi

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#15333 - 11/10/05 10:58 AM Re: Thank you, Dad!
flipperjo Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
thank you so much for your encouragement, Vi! I looked in on your web site and saw the art work you do - it is just beautiful. i have always wished i could paint or at least draw a decent likeness of anything, but alas, i have trouble making a stick man look like a stick man. i applaud your talent!

i do put my writing into a newsletter i compile for 'the compassionate friends' which is a support group for bereaved parents. for now, i consider that my ministry and it is about as much as i can handle at this point. we are really struggling to keep our farm afloat right now, so that and doing full time daycare for our 8 mo. old granddaughter is about all i can handle.

i keep hoping things will get a little easier sometime so i have the clear head i need to write. life just keeps happening, doesn't it?

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#15334 - 11/10/05 11:22 PM Re: Thank you, Dad!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Flipper, what a tribute. Liek not other I've read. I appreciate the circle of love and connectedness.

You might not be able to draw a stick figure, but you sure can write. Timing is everything. Just be certain you hang on to everything you've written. That will make it easier for you to compile soemthing bigger in the future!

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#15335 - 11/12/05 09:05 AM Re: Thank you, Dad!
Vi Offline
Member

Registered: 05/21/05
Posts: 252
Flipper jo,

Thank you for your kind words about my painting. You don't have to be able to draw to be able to paint. My drawing skills are limited. Painting is something else again. If you ever want to learn to paint I recommend Jerry Yarnell. He taught me to paint from his shows on Oregon Public Broadcasting. He also has classes on BYU. I'm not sure where all else. But he has a website and has some tapes on getting started. From there you could call and ask them who airs his shows in your area. He paints with acyrlics. With acrylics as long as you don't leave lumps you can go over and over something until you get it right.

Maybe you could start out writing your book by speaking into a small portable tape recorder. Carry it around with you and as ideas come - while you're holding the baby and milking the cows or are in the john - talk to the recorder. Seriously, the best ideas often come when we are in the john. Something out, something in, I guess. Lol.

Vi

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#15336 - 11/17/05 08:05 AM Re: Thank you, Dad!
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
Flipperjo your words tug at the heart strings and are such beautiful writings. Grief causes us to become eloquent doesn't it?
Take comfort in knowing your father is now holding Melissa in his arms and comforting her because I'm sure she misses you too. Life does go on and you will one day have complete emotional strength returned. It's okay and necessary to grieve, these are beloved people who you treasure.
Keep writing and reaching out to others who are grieving because you know they need you.

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