Hi ladies,

HOW ARE YOU?

I don't know HOW I became so absent from the forums....but I'm back to check in.

A quick run down on my life.

God is good, he IS able, and HE is enough!

My life is not perfect - there are still major bumps in the road, but I keep looking up.

Breanna my 19 year is doing well - she is in the process of breaking up with a long term (horrible) boyfriend. It has been a blessing to support her through it. She has a great job taking phone orders for bare-essentials - she is VERY good at it.

Levi - 17 year old boy is doing well in MD. He is going to school, started working out, and is now boxing. His spirit has changed considerably - he is grateful and loving towards me.

My working situation...I continue to LOVE and build my Send Out Card Business - it brings me incredible joy...

I do "Office Depot" outside sales to help me support myself while I build my business... and I took a part time position as an "assistant director" for BNI Colorado. I get to train and mentor chapters. I LOVE THIS POSITION, it was hand made for me.

Mark and I are still dating - 15 months. It is going VERY well. He is a gift. We talk about marriage, and we talk about not getting married. Both of us were very burned in our previous marriage. We are great companions. I've realized that a marriage certificate is not a guarantee in writing.

Situation with my ex - still fighting in the courts to get my court ordered maintenance. He doesn't pay me a dime. He just wants me to "take responsibility for myself". After 21 years of marriage and my being a "sahm", you would think he would get that I need some time to get on my feet.

Anywho, this is the basics of what is going on.

Friday Mark, Austin (his 9 year old son) and I head for yellowstone park to camp. Can't wait.

Hope you all are well, I look forward to catching up!

HUGS!

danita

Yea!! Good news!! Thanks for keeping us up to date, and have a wonderful safe trip to Yellowstone.

K

Welcome back, Danita. It's wonderful to hear your voice here again!

Danita,
Popping in long enough to say it all sounds so wonderful for you and you can bet everyone here is so happy that life is treating you with kindness and grace. You are very deserving.

One of my favorite places in the world is Yellowstone. I know you will have a fab time. Good for you!

JJ

Sounds like even with the stupid ex acting up you have your life in order and are moving on and upward all the time. So good to hear from you. Enjoy Yellowstone, it should be amazing this time of year with everything in bloom.

You sound great Danita. Mark sounds like a great match for you.

At nine years old, Yellowstone will be perfect. Old enough to remember the trip as well as appreciate it. What a wonderful gift to him.

Danita, it is wonderful to hear from you and know that your
life is moving nicely along. Have a great time on your trip!

Uplifting news Danita! Thanks for sharing, and have a wonderful time in Yellowstone. I was there once and thought it was magical.

Danita it's so good to hear from you! It's wonderful news to hear you sounding happy and content in spite of life's circumstances. Check back after your fun trip and let us know how it went!

Hey, it's good to hear from you again, Lady Jane. Hope you have some time to hang out once in a while.

Danita, I'm so happy that your life is going well. I can hear in your attitude -- there was a lot of frustration several months ago, but now you've gotten equilibrium.

Have a wonderful time in Yellowstone!

Your update brought a ditty to mind, Danita. "...pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again." And with your update, you're well on your way. May all continue to be well with you and yours.

Danita, your post lifted my spirits so high!

Danita...how wonderful life is turning around for you...your attitude towards looking upward is so inspirational...dear Danita, take care and keep looking upward.

Oh Danita, where are you? Back from the park yet?

Hi ladies,

I don't mean to be so absent --- but, working one FULL time job, one PART time job, growing my business AND being in love..at the end of the day...there's not much left.

The story about the park - I'll save it for another time. LOL.

I just wanted to drop in to say hello.

I want to purpose to hang out with you all a little more --- I miss you!!!!!

I promise to catch up soon!

hugs,

Danita

Well Danita, we miss you too lady. Glad things are going so well however. Life is good!

So happy to "see" you again, Danita. You're missed here!

Hey Danita. Sorry I didn't call you back after taking my daughter to work. When I got home, my misiter friend popped in. I'll call you tomorrow.

Hi Ladies,

Thought I would check in...

Things are going extremely well -- this working for a living is... time consuming. LOL. I do find I have less energy at the end of the day for "socializing". lol

I go back to court with my ex next tuesday a.m. at 9:30 am. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

I have filed contempt of court charges against my ex who has not paid his court ordered maintenance for the entire year. I am holding his feet to the fire. The only thing I got out of my 21 year marriage was maintenance.

He has been on the run since our divorce -- running from responsiblity......running from his self.

Me, I realize more and more how God liberted me from bondage into the promised land. I find that I am living more "consciously" since I have the freedom to live my life the way that I want to. It's been amazing.

Anywho, just wanted to say hello. I pop in and read frequently, but don't make the time to chat!

hugs,

Danita

Hi Danita, thanks for checking in! My thoughts and prayers will be with you next week for court. So glad you are finding the positive side in all of this; it must be tough to find your footing and move on, but you will do it!

Kathy

Danita, girlfriend, just remember in court to remain cool, calm and collected the ex (blah-phooey) will most probably try to get you all wriled up so you look like a nut to the judge, also usually a MAN! My prayers are with you, especially on Tuesday. Tell 'you know who' I said hi!
'

Danita, good for you for holding him accountable. What makes him think you can do it all on your own? What is he THINKING?

Remain calm and know that God is right there in that court room with you girlfriend.

Thanks for your update. It's alwasy good to hear from you.

I wish the best for you Danita. Be prepared though as it took me 7 years to get anything out of my ex and I had three children. He spent his money on other women instead of his kids.

Karma does bite them in the butt though.

Good luck and be prepared for anything. The judge believed my ex was poor even though his tax return stated he made $100,000 per year. They based child support on $21,000 as he income split saying his girlfriend worked for his company, then he said the remainder went for expenses. I sat there in shock for a while. I decided that day that I could never depend on him for anything, there was freedom in that.

Just remember, the law is not always fair. That said, I do hope it works out for you.

Kate

Oh Danita, where are you, how'd it turn out for you????

Hi ladies,

Well, the court read him his rights, told him he could serve jail time so he might want to consider getting a lawyer, and informed him if he's "indigent" then the court would appoint him a lawyer.

He's going for the "indigent" role - and applying for a lawyer.

So, this won't go to court until Jan of next year.

I am underwhelmed with the unfairness of the court system.

I am extremely shocked at how little regard the court system has for women who are not receiving their court ORDERED maintenance.

I was married for 21 years, was a stay at home, homeschooling mom, and all I got out of the divorce was used furniture.

I gave up relying on him over a year ago, and yes Kate, it is extremely freeing. I am VERY blessed to not be on his financial rollercoaster.

He looks like hell. litterally. My guy went with me to court and saw my ex for the first time. He will attend with me in Jan as well. I'm sure that hacked my ex off a bit.

He was very adgetated that the court couldn't do anything on that day (he had driven 2 plus hours from his house at 9:30 am).
If anything, I can take some satisfaction that I am running him a bit ragged.

Thanks for asking Chatty!

The blessing is....I am healthy, my childen are healthy, I have a wonderful, satisfying life with a new man who adores me. I sleep well at night...and I have incredible abundance and joy!!!!

What more does a gal need???? lol

hugs to ya sisters!

danita

Danita, is that January of 2009? So another month goes by with nothing. What is he thinking?

Glad to hear your new honey went with you for support. I'm sure that felt great.

I've always admired your attitude.

Well ladies,

Miracles DO happen!

Both of my children spent Christmas with myself and my honey honey -- we had a WONDERFUL time. It had been a year and 3 months since I had seen my 17 year old boy.

He and my daughter both love my honey honey -- what a blessing THAT is.

I put my son on the plane back to MD on Monday, spent the day crying....and on Tuesday, I got THE call, that he can't live with the family he's living with anymore...and he wants to come home.

I wouldnt in a million years have thought his coming home was a possiblity.

Then, a day later, my honey honey proposed to me! wahooo. We will celebrate our love on Dec 31st, 2009. LOL, I know, it's a ways off, but we are planning a real wedding and need some time. You ALL are invited!

So, that's what's new with me.

GOing to court with my ex on the 27th -- not looking forward to it...but will continue to pursue justice!

hugs to ya'll,

danita

Wow, Danita, lots of wonderful news!! I'm so happy for you!

You're so funny, calling him "honey honey"

I wish you all the very best!!

kathy

Just LOVE happy endings! Had to think of the Abba song "Honey Honey"…aaahaaaa!

sorry to hear its tough Danita glade to hear your happie.

Yeah, Danita, good for you! I know what you went through so having all this wonderful news is fantastic!!

Danita, wouldn't you say all of this is miraculous? I recall praying for you when you and hubby split, your son left, and your daughter moved on. I remember how torn up you were and how I ached for you. I CELEBRATE all your good news. ANd guess what? I just might come to your wedding. Ross has an uncle in COlorado that we've been talking about visiting for years. Maybe '09 will be the year.

I'm sending up prayers of Thanksgiving for you!

I am beaming with happiness for you right now, Danita. Isn't it wonderful that your honey honey and children enjoy each other? It's probably because they can see how much he adores you and you adore him. It shines through in your posts.

Danita,
This all couldn't happen to a nicer person. Congrats to you! I love your updates.

Danita, this is all so wonderful! You deserve your happiness. Congratulations on everything.

Ladies,

Thanks as always for cheering me on. This forum has been a Godsend through the years.

Dotsie, THAT, would be wonderful (to have you at our wedding!).
It is going to be a very special celebration.

A couple of things that stand out most to me in this situation is:

There is always hope. As long as there is life, there is hope.

I know that many here are currently suffering with health issues, family issues, or relationship....but I would just encourage you to grasp onto a small thread of hope. We just don't know what awaits us in the minutes, hours, or days ahead.

I put my son on the airplane to Maryland on Monday a.m., cried all morning - sat in a meeting all afternoon trying to keep it together...had you told me that he will call me Tuesday evening to say he wants to come home -- I would of said "no way".

The other thing that comes to mind is that how we think and what we think truly impacts how our lives look.

I chose in my divorce right from the begining to "going forward with joy". I don't know where that came from, it just became my mantra. I also believed I would find love again, and that I didn't have to go through a million men to find the ONE.


Anywho. I am blessed. God has been extremely faithful in holding me in the palm of his hand, and taking care of me during some very difficult years.

Again, ladies, thank you for your support. It has been wonderful to have a place to come to share!

Happy hugs,

danita

Whoo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How amazing Danita and what an amazing way to celebrate life. So much good news, so many tears in my eyes! The happy kind of course.

Danita, I remeber you once saying, "As long as there is breath, there is hope." I've hung onto that ever since I read it. DO you recall saying that?

Yup, and I believe that more now then ever!

I wanted to share a testimony of Gods' faithfulness.

My 17 year old son has been home for a month now (after being away for two years), it has been so wonderful. I have readjusted to being a mom much more easily then I expected I would. Our relationship is easy and comfortable.

About 3 years ago when I was in the midst of my divorce, my beloved daughter and I went to see a Christian singer named "Chris Tomlin". We wept through the whole concert. He talked about how there were people in the audience who were hurting -- we were definitely in that group.

about 1.5 years after that, I got to go see Chris Tomlin again with my now fiancee Mark. I thought to myself how different a year can make! When Chris talked about the hurting people in the crowd, I was able to pray for them. It wasn't me at that point.

Last night, I stood beside my son at a Chris Tomlin concert here in Denver.....I wept because of Gods' extreme faithfulness.
NEVER, in a million years, would I expect to have the honor to have my son home. It too is a miracle that he even wanted to go to a Christian concert. In the past, he wouldn't have been interested.

I just want to encourage those who are facing storms and trials..that God is IN them WITH you. You are not alone. And he has a plan to bless you, and make EVERYTHING work together for good. No pain is wasted!

Hugs to ya sisters!

Danita

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXV6HJxUe...=1&index=17

Oh Danita, thank you soooooooooo much for sharing your story. It brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. You are so right, no pain is wasted...it can all be used, turned, reshaped and made so powerful.

Such a blessing you are!

I have a prayer request - I didn't want to cover up the current discussion in that forum.

I just found out that my 20 year old is preganant. This is on top of her getting a DUI 3 weeks ago. She is jobless, and attached to an abusive boyfriend.

Stop the world, I want to get off!

She is EXTREMELY bright and intuitive - but her relationship with her boyfriend has taken her on a downward sprial.

SO, if ya'll would pray for Gods' hand on her life. That he would show her the direction he would have her take, and that he would open doors for her.

She needs a job so she can stay out of jail. I also pray that she is able to keep her drivers license.

I know this is a learning experience for her - it just breaks my heart.

Also, if you would pray that my business explodes in the next month - since I lost my FT, bill paying job.

I have to tell you, in the midst of everything, I am still resting in peace. God is so faithful.

Thank you friends!

Danita

Ummm, I wouldn't have thought to find this latest news under..divorce area.

This is really tough Danita and especially if she's with an abusive guy. My best thoughts for your daughter and the baby's safety and health.

Does she want to stay away from him now or eventually? If yes, she needs to ensure there is a court restraining order (would help if she has visible proof of abuse.)

Can she come home if she gets away from her abusive boyfriend, or does she think she LOOOOOOOVES him? How sad for all concerned.

Danita, one of these legal clinics might be able to point her in the right direction if she needs assistance.

http://www.coloradolegalservices.org/Program/1138/RTF1.cfm?pagename=Clinics%20in%20other%20Colorado%20Counties

Most state and provincial legal aid clinics are part of whole local network of social support services for people with problems, include abuse, etc. I suppose in your area there is also a 411 or 211 information referral phone line to name the best organizations to help her..since Danita she needs to hear objective advice also.

DAnita, I'm seeing this for the first time. Aren't you grateful for your faith during times like this? I will certainly add her to my list and contiue to cover her in prayer.

Being pregnant is of course of concern, but what about the abusive relationship? Has she told you he's abusive?

I'll pray that God gives you His words whne you talk with her so your personal agenda doesnt' get in the way.

Also, you might want to catch up with optimum/Cathy who has been down a similar path with her daughter.

Keep the faith.

Dotsie,

I truly am experiencing supernatural peace.

In the last two months I......

- Have received my son home after him being gone for 2 yrs
- Trying to get my son situated for school/work, etc.
- Am working on blended family issues
- planning a wedding
- Still fighting in court with ex over child support and maint.
- Daugther got a DUI
- Daughter announced pregnancy
- Got layed off of work....

All within 2 months. Wahhooooo! :0)

My DD texted me, "will you support me in leaving boyfriend and having the baby. I have financial assistance and a plan for school?"

God gave me the words to send her back,

"I will support you in taking control of your life".


I am not internalizing the external issues. I have moments of intense grief, but they pass.

The issues my daughter has are between her and God to work out. I will emotionally and spiritually support her decisions!

I just chatted with her briefly, her boyfriend has dumped her. Her spirits sound good all the same.

Thank you for praying.

God truly is faithful.

Danita

Danita, great answer. You're a fantastic mom. Never doubt it.

How's your daughter, and how are you?

oh, and I love how she texted that message. It's such a generational thing. I must share that my daughter and I worked out a hot situation about her coming home one evening totally through texting and it worked beautifully. Had we been on the phone, it could have gotten heated. Interesting, isn't it?

As I saw today via an email sent to me by JJ, texting can be a marvelous thing but then again it can be a horrific thing when done at the wrong time in the wrong place. If interested ask her for the email, it is a graphic lesson learned...

Saw this thread for the first time just now. Will gladly add your daughter to my prayer list. I'm glad you have peace in
the midst of all this turmoil. Prayers and blessings,

I feel like I'm from the dark ages. I never texted anything,
ever. Talk about old fashioned!

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the prayers.

I can't say things are getting better with her.

I've recently received some reports on her that I won't mention specifically here. I'll just say anything she can be doing wrong, well,she is.

She was home last week for a night - she is a camelon. She puts on her "mama's girls" facade, helps me in the kitchen, plays with the kids in the neighborhood....then she leaves and enters another world.

I believe she has an addiction. It is the only thing I can think of that would have her act and react as she has.

So, feel free to keep praying. I guess what I would ask you to pray, is that God would bring her to the end of herself, and that she would realize she has a problem, and that she will accept help.

Things are so bad, my 18 year old sent Dr. Phil an email. WOw, huh.

I continue to trust GOd for the details of my life AND her life. I AM thankful for having faith!

hugs to ya'll!

Danita

P.S. wedding has turned into an elopement. Fiancee and I have decided to elope in August. Wahooooooooooo!

You have certainly been faced with many mishaps in the past several years, one thing on top of another. I feel so bad for you. Of course my prayers will continue and I will be sending you the best vibes via cyberspace I can conjur up.

Hey friend,

Don't be surprised if your phone rings one day soon - I've been thinking about you, and thinking it's been forever since we've chatted.

Thanks so much for they sympathy, I'm doing o.k., it's my daughter who needs the prayers BIG time.

She goes to court on the 30th -- feel free to pray that Gods will be done concerning her in the court.

You know the old saying, "if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger!" (I'm a beast!!!!) lol

hugs friend!

danita

Am thinking of you today. Praying for God's will in court.

Danita, congrats on eloping. I'm a bit disappointed though because Ross and I were seriously considering coming to the wedding. His uncle lives in Colorado. He turns 60 this year and we were going to tie the two visits together.

Goodness Danita...what a handful and what an amazing prayer warrior and testament to faith you are.

I've added your entire family to my prayer list and will hold each in love and light as you walk this path.

Blessings to you...and please let me know if there is something besides prayer I can do!

Mama Red - thank you so much for your prayers. I treasure them!

Dots, I am soooo sorry to disappoint you - a part of me is disappointed as well, but we have sooo much going on it would make your head spin. LOL

My daughter went to court...she basically got a slap on the hand.

1 yr probation, 40 hours of community service, $1,000 fine.

(this is what she's told me, at least).

Honestly, I don't think this is the end of it for her. I don't believe she has learned anything. She is just so casual about it.

So, we'll have to keep praying for her - that somehow she will have a revelation of what she is doing to her life!

Thanks for the support ladies!

Danita, she may act calmly about it around you, but could be shaking in her boots. One can only hope. Thanks for the update. I think of you often.

You know you can call me anytime especially at night Danita. I too miss you, guess I got spoiled seeing you when you were spending more time here in Vegas. I owe you and hubby a wedding dinner next time you're here in town. If my ex has moved out by then, I'll cook something wonderful, if not then we'll go out.
HUGS!

Or daughter just finds hanging out with her mom, just calming and "normal" like old times during a very turbulent point of her life. This would be ideal..and nice to think that any good parent's presence, provides that sense of calm or peace during a visit.

Or daughter just doesn't want to worry mother too much by appearing normal/calm.

Let us know Danita of the next development. Hope she is safe.

Orchid,

Thanks for your brainstorming!

I think it's more of her being in denial of her situation.
I'm not the mom that freaks out - she can tell me anything.

The friends she hangs out with have all gone through simular things, so to her, these are normal life events.

By the grace of God, she will get through this!

Danita

Danita, your daughter had such a good nurturing beginning having you as her mom and advisor, I think she has just fallen momentarily from her path but all the good instilled inside her by you will eventually come through. Your son rallied and she will too. Sometimes it just takes time and constant reasurrance that she is loved.

chatty, you said it beautifully. Your comment of the constant reassuurance that she is loved is so importnat. Sometimes when kids stray, parents give up on them. I know Danita woun't do that. She'll be the constant pillar her daughter needs.

Danita, praying you through these times. Keep the faith.

And be happy with your fiance'.

Thanks ladies for your input, and for reminding me who I am to her in her life. I've been a bit disconnected from her because of everything going on in her life ---- you reminded me I just need to keep loving her and supporting her.

Danita

Good for you. I'm sure it's hard because of the pregnancy, but she needs love more now, than ever.