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#14774 - 01/11/05 09:51 PM Letting go takes many forms
Kathryn Offline

Registered: 11/20/02
Posts: 317
Loc: Towson
Tomorrow I will take my son to the MEPS center where he'll be processed and loaded on to a plane to basic training. He's "in the army now"! One of the hardest parts of this leave taking is that he will be gone, really gone, for a long time. And during that time someone else, something else, an institution, will be molding and shaping him as he becomes a man. I will have no part in that and no control over anything. My mothering in any direct way, ends here.

I am mourning for the "loss" of my child. That seems so wrong when I think of the many parents who really have lost a child to illness or accident. But it is a loss, and a letting go just the same. As our children reach the milestones of their lives, I guess there are these watershed moments where you realize that something precious has ended. I'm trying to believe that this is a beginning as well....but really it is a beginning for him, just an ending for me. I'm sad.

I guess this just reminds us of how we must cherish every day with those that we love.

#14775 - 01/12/05 03:19 AM Re: Letting go takes many forms
mrsmuzz Offline

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 113
Loc: Orange, Texas
My prayers are with you and your son. I was in your position in October of 2002 with my son. I took him to the recruiting office where he boarded a bus to San Antonio and then on to Navy Boot Camp in Chicago. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. However, when I went to his graduation from the program in December, you have no idea how proud of him I was. They took a young (immature) man and sent home a confident, self-assured person that I always knew he could be. He is happy, healthy and now a Petty Officer. I pray for him all the time and all of our military, but I also know that he has the training and background to take him far in his quest. My prayers and thoughts are with you!

#14776 - 01/12/05 11:03 PM Re: Letting go takes many forms
Dotsie Offline

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
mrsmuzz, thanks so much for your post. It truly shares hope. My father still says that boys become men by serving their country.

Kath, it is an end for us and a beginning for our children, but remember that with everything that ends for us, something new and exciting can take it's place. I'm living that as my son has also left for college. I'm trying to fill my time that he took as a child and do something for myself with it. Why not? I know you still have others at home, as I do, but now it time for us to step out and carry on.

I don't want to make lite of your situation, but try to focus on the fact that he is in good hands... and you have a little more freedom! [Wink]

#14777 - 01/13/05 06:18 AM Re: Letting go takes many forms
lionspaaw Offline

Registered: 11/28/02
Posts: 887
Loc: SW Florida
Kathryn -

My son Travis has a wife and baby and has had his own life for several years -- yet everytime I hear a siren I reach for the phone to see if he's okay. I miss him being here with me everyday but I remind myself that its his time to experience the wonders of living and all I can do is trust he'll be okay and that his triumphs outweigh the pitfalls along the way.

So I can relate to your sadness -- and I appreciate your extra worry of your son going into the military in such troubled times.

Its still hard to think of Travis as a MAN and not the sweet little boy I used to kiss on the forehead as he lay there sleeping, but I try to think of it as a new chapter in both of our lives. And I try to remember that my mother went thru this over me, my brother and sister and every mother out there has gone/ will go thru the same thing.

So I guess this doesnt make you feel any better -- but at least you know you're not alone [Smile]

#14778 - 01/14/05 07:22 PM Re: Letting go takes many forms
Dotsie Offline

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Kath, have you had a chance to look at Bee Pedersen's book yet, Women Write the War? I gave it to you so you might see that you are not alone. I hope it helps and doesn't upset you.

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