Meredith, and anyone else who is living in a large house at this time...I have a question for you.

If your spouse should die before you do, would you sell your house asap and look for a condominium? I think JJ once said that she lives in a very large house. How do you cope with it JJ? Do you ever wish you had something smaller? Louisa you downsized. Do you ever wish you were still in your home?

I know I would sell our house in a flash. I would never be able to do the garden and the house alone. Hubby would like to stay here forever. I am wondering if it isn't more sensible to move while we still have the strength to do so. Also the thought of moving alone is frightening to me. We have too much stuff. I think I would just want to light it up.

But on the other hand, for now, the house is wonderful for us. What to do, what to do.....

This topic sounds familiar... or is it a forum posting deja vu?
We moved from a 2500 sqft home into a little over 1000 sqft home after our girls went away to college.

Some of the following wouldn't apply, but I'm going to put all of my likes and dislikes I can think of...

What I like:
1. We have acreage vs. home size... the neighbors aren't on top of us.
2. Less space to clean... in particular, bathrooms - uuuck!
3. Taxes, maintenance costs and such are less.
4. We were able to clean and dispose of things, even though we brought two attics full with us.
5. People are less likely to stay with us - lack of room.
6. If it were just me, this place would be perfect, other than maintenance (old house) and mowing (a little over an acre to mow, DH's two horses keep the other acres clear).
7. I wouldn't have wanted to downsize after DH passed. It was hard enough with him around.
8. Much less likely to want more "stuff" once accustomed to the downsize.
9. Can make it from one end of house to another in no time, and we no longer need an intercom system.
10. No more stairs to climb.


What I don't like:
1. Less places to hide, not enough rooms.
2. No place to call my space.
3. Have most keepsakes in boxes. Even some of our furniture is in pieces and in the attic (including a pool table), probably ruining from humidity and changes in temperature.
4. Can't have social gatherings comfortably. There are times I wish I could. To throw a party I'd have to rent a facility.
5. When people do come over to visit, I usually have to move things around to make room... i.e. books
4. When I want to talk on the phone in private (rare, but it happens), it's impossible.
5. Sometimes, I can hear my DH breathing - literally.
6. I don't have as many arrangement options. One thing I enjoy is trying new furniture arrangements.
7. No place to hide things if someone is at the door and I'm not prepared.
8. Even with storage boxes marked, I have a hard time finding some things when I need them.
9. Have to be very organized and have a good memory.
10. Sometimes I feel claustrophobic.

It might help if you listed all the pros and cons of the house you are currently living in. Think about the financial issues, too. Then all the pros and cons of a new home.

Dennis and I are thinking about moving too, but for different reasons. We have decided to start looking at homes that are more accessible, but we won't buy anything unless we absolutely love it. But the housing market is down and while that means we may be able to buy cheaper, it also means we won't get as much for our home.

It is a conundrum.

Hannelore, I downsized for a different reason. I don't wish I was still in my old house because it was a two family, but I often wish we were in a house vs a condo. The things I dislike the most about condo living are the rules, not enough closets, no attic or basement, most of my stuff is in boxes too and I can never find anything, and assessments.

I do like: (We have a little under 1,000 sq feet, plus the huge deck we have which is considered common area but no one else can use.)

1. It's snowing today and we don't have to shovel a driveway to go out, the stairs, the sidewalk.

2. The mailbox is right outside my door next to the lobby area (we're the first unit) If I have something to mail, I can go out there in my slippers and drop it in the box, and I can go get the mail the same way.

3. No dragging out barrels for trash day or forgetting that it is trash day and having to keep it for another week.

4. No stairs
5. Easier to clean
6. Not a lot of windows to wash and have to buy curtains for and curtains to wash.

7. Knowing I could handle this place alone if I had to. Or at least we think I can.

Downsizing is not easy. Whether it's to a smaller home or a condo. We have friends who are looking to sell their big house and buy a townhouse. The townhouse is as much square footage as their house. It's on two floors (or maybe three), has way more space than they need, etc. To me that is not easier.

If I was in a big house that I loved and we had been in it for years and years, I don't know how I would feel about giving it up. I didn't consciously choose to downsize and buy a condo. It just happened that way. If we had to move from here, I don't know what we would do. It would be hard to go back to a house now and other condos don't have this deck, plus we are on the water. We couldn't afford another one on the water. We've had this one for a long time now.

It's a difficult decision, but you are in real estate, Hannelore so you can look around and compare. do your homework as far as condo living. Here, you need to make sure you know all about the condo docs, the condo association that runs it, the reserve fund it has, look at how they spend the money, the condo fees. I'm asuming a lot of it is the same there, but don't know.

We do still have parties here. Best when we can use the deck. Just having our kids and grandkids is a crowd, but we've done family things having my family over or all of our kids and their families and had well over twenty people here. That's enough of a crowd for me.

I owned and lived in my own condo..by myself. for 14 yrs..and he came over to spend alot of time with me. And vice versa.

We currently live in such too but different province. It is near parks, walking/cycling paths, stores, services, public transit etc.

I wouldn't want any other way. I don't drive so a condo forces me to think through what I really want to accumulate.

It would be helpful to be in a 2 bedroom so that 1 rm. I could be used for guests or workroom.

The buildings that I live/have lived in provide lockable bike storage facilities, have 24-hr. security guard. I did live in a building where there was a rm. for guests to pay a fee, book in advance and stay as guests. Problem with that was if other guests smoked in the rm.

Previous and current building have party rm. facilities with sink, etc.

No, I was never a garden person nor into retrofitting home.

Hannelore, for certain if you want to play more golf, do more painting, you will be able to..if you lived in a townhouse or condo. It may be a good thing for you and hubby to seriously think and transition. Having an extra rm. would be good for family visitors. Since you are a real estate agent, you are your own best resource!

I know several single women who own 2-storied houses, including 2 sisters (before 1 sister got married). It's alot of work..for these women. 1 woman, a dear friend my age, owns and looks after 2 homes --a 3 bedroom that she inherited from her parents and her cottage about 100 kms. away. I don't know how she does this. Both homes have sizable backyards with flower gardens. She does alot of driving between the 2 homes. Yes, both homes are well-kept. Is there a man in life? No.

If you can believe this, she had a management job for 18 months where she had to rent a room, in a totally different city that was 150 kms. away from her 2 homes that she owned.It was a job worth this temporary living situation.

And she doesn't rent either home to anyone. No, she is childless.

As you can tell, I have carefully suggested once or twice, she has to sell a home... What is probably making it difficult is trying to figure out from a career perspective, the best region to live for optimal job market opportunities and work travel.

right now, she is looking for a job after her contract job ended. So ladies, if you think you would be exhausted looking after 1 house ...solo.

I heard of strange situation where a single woman (no children), well respected in her profession, retired. I heard this story from another good friend who was buddies with this unusual woman. Usual woman inherited her parents' huge 4 bedroom house. I think it was over 3,500 sq ft. in wealthy part of a major city. Well, guess what..after her parents died, she continued to occupy the same small bedroom as she did when she was a child. the ouse is worth over $1 million. She became a bit reclusive Clearly, IMO she has some issues.... she needs...a life instead of looking after that huge empty house.

Having less possessions is more freeing. Right now, I think I've reaccumulated what I threw out when I had to relocate to a different province a few years ago. Feels like abit too much stuff I have .... and we don't live in a house.

I truly love my house. I've put a lot of work into it and intend to do more. Hubbo honestly doesn't do much house-type work anyhow -- it's mostly me. He has his nose in spread sheets all day.

I chose this house for the vaulted ceilings and lots of closets. I've invested a lot of time, money, and heart into decorating.

I don't feel a need to downsize. I like my open space. We have a small xeriscaped garden, so not much work there. This house has been paid for since 1990 and I ain't moving if I don't have to!

Hannelore, angel, just gotta remind you not to plan too far ahead..things will take care of themselves..when they should..at the right time for you and everyone around you. Don´t force anything..step back..and let life..

If you have to move alone ( and that you never can know now)..then I am sure you´ll manage..and that you won´t be alone..don´t you have wonderful adult children and grandchildren?? I am sure you have many friends and you work in real estate..with all sorts of connections, I am guessing. I´ll bet anything that life will take unexpected twists and turns and before you are done..you´ll be surprised where you ended up and what you and your family did.

You say the house is just perfect for you right now..then why spoil a good thing??? Let the house be perfect for you now and enjoy it! Who knows, the day you decide to sell..maybe someone will buy it and offer to help you move everything..that actually happened to us once way back when.. There I was looking at all I had to take care of on my own and pack and move because my husband was away on a job..and I had 4 little kids then..one of which was Susan. And then came a phone call from the buyers..hey, we´ll help you pack and move! (they saw my situation and were eager to move themselves ) and soooo life and love goes on...you just never know ANYTHING, love!!!

And the crone..she´s a cacklin´ again!!!

Anno, I hear you..about prices that are going down on housing..but that means that one´s own house is also not going to bring in as much... or visa versa..for that matter! And you have to know you way around in the jungle..which Hannelore,you DO, of course..I don´t. And then you have to have the energy and the time to look around at new housing and go thru all the motions, Anno. But again..this is your job, Hannelore..so you have a big jump start here, don´t you???

Thanks so much for your views on this. Of course being a real-estate realtor helps in that I am able to find bargain offers easier. Still the question on whether to move now or later is an individual thing.
I have to agree with Humlun. I have to live more in the here and now…and not worry so much about the future. I tend to do that, and sometimes miss out on the present.
Still it was interesting to read how those of you who have downsized see the pro’s and cons; … great insights, that made me think.
I won’t have much time lately, so can’t post as much. Just wanted to thank my Boomer friends for helping me out by sharing your personal experiences.

I'd love to sell my home and buy an existing home on acerage or build. Yet, the selling is the difficult part as it may take at least a year!