Dancer, we have photos of Anaiya with her parents everywhere. There is a real lovey dovey photo of the three of them in her room, and we pray every night blessing Mommy and Daddy too.

MA, I think you may have something there about Anaiya sensing the tragic atmosphere at the training camp last week. Since the daughter is Nye’s roommate, she most likely witnessed some deep sorrow first hand.

Gims, this means we all have to hang around here till Anaiya becomes an athlete or not… I’m all for that.

I feel like I’m repeating myself here, hmmm, and I am.…But I got to thank you all for your very kind words. It isn’t hard being a good grandmother to Anaiya, or to any child. To rediscover the world through a child’s eyes is truly a blessing, which I never thought I would have the privilege of experiencing again. Like today, Hubby picked Anaiya up from kindergarten. She ran across the room, calling “Opa Opa” and hugged his legs with such joy. He was ready for the melting pot. If any of you should get a chance to do this, it’s true you do give up a lot, but you gain so much more.
(I mean that literally;…got to stop finishing off her deserts. )

I remember those left overs/extras when my children were little. fish fingers...blamange rice pudding sponge cakes..
MA

Hannelore, I didn't say anything earlier because everyone else was giving such great heartfelt advice and I don't have any experience to add.

However, I'm soooo happy that a solution has been found Anaiya is lucky to have such a loving Grandma

Hannelore, we can do it... what, that'd only be 20-25 years... I'll start eating more fruits and veggies tomorrow. Truthfully, my diet isn't so bad... it's my ability to deal with stressful situations that is wanting.

exilentb resolution seems like a win win situasion for parents and child and all the others involved.
Outta the big arraw of advice on offer a way forward was found and its sounds exilent, maybee even feels right if their is such a thingie or is that just my concinses lol.
i am so happie for you all and happie your son had suck a good insight and bringing stuff together.
Quite a familie their, that work at things wen its less than ideal or tough, that make comprimises, sacrifices but above all else gett to find a way forwared weer all needs are considered and accounted for....thats almost ideal in my book. Nuthings naturalie easie or ideal in this life (i think) so if evers theirs a stratigie or attitude to have or make the best srta choices i think your lot are managing that reallie well.
text book
delightfull.

god din't you do a good job with your owen son and you all gotta have a good solid foundasion between all your relashionships and between the others relashionships with each other for this to work, to be pulled off so far
And great communicasion

now im gonna have a good day, knowing the bit of good resolusion and way forwardes been found.


cheers made my day so far.

cathie id also agree that the mums needs are important (outside what are her mother duties)and what a short window of oppertunitie she has. If she was made to stop doing what she is doing thats one big bit of oppertunitie for so much future oppertunitie and resentments. One would have to be nearly an angel not to feel this in a negative way.

It be great if more real life situasion were resolved with all adults feelings (mums and dads) being taken into account and held as important in relation to child care.
even if mums do it better (thats just my biase)

Hannelore, my last living grandparent died when I was three-years old. So I pretty much grew up without grandparents. It wasn't until I met my husband and learned about his relationship with his paternal grandmother that I found out what I was missing.

Ross grew up with the love of both parents, he never doubted that, but their relationships were rather rocky. Parents divorced when he was young which meant he spent his childhood bouncing from parent to parent, and step-parent to step-parent with step-sisters and step-brothers, etc. Mom remarried and divorced. Dad did the same, then had several live-in girlfriends. There were many moves, he had many childhood homes, but all the while he had one constant, and that was his grandmother.

The two of them must have been soul buddies. She meant the world to him and Ross was her world. It was an extremely powerful relationship due to the all the comings and goings of his parents. I will not slight his parents because they were being the best parents they knew how to be. But Nana is the one who gave him stability.

I see that as your role (and your husband's) with Anaiya. It is a blessed role and one that no others can play for her. Embrace it. I know you do.

Hl your also right theirs similarities but it aint identical between the situasions.

bottom line is i am the mum, we both are parents however and my wee one can still be cared for wen the other parent dose the right type of stuff.

It would be wrong of me to say they aint important, but that means with their importances comes a bit of responcibilitie thats got to be upheld for the sake of l. L's advantige is the stabilitie in relashionship he's had with me which is still present, so its a bit easier on him.Like your situasion, stuff heer can be worked out to support this current circumstances that decress the likeliehood of any harm comming to l with the other parent being absent at this time. This way we both get to do what we want with our lives and l is still gonna be ok. Main point of my concerne.

Hannelore,
Without my grandfather, and I hardly ever talk about this, I would not have survived! I loved him like my parent and he was like my parents even though I had parents. My grandfather lived on the estate next door to ours and I spent so much time there that is was like my home. He was my parent in my heart and mind.

My parents, due to their choices in life, were not there for me. I was a "gifted child," and doing television at the age of 5. My parents did not watch me perform ONCE. They dropped me off and took off. My grandfather bought me my first pair of tights, my first microphone and would wear earphones and listen to his "shows," while I held and wailed into that microphone while dancing around his living room.

I learned most of what I knew from him and he was in his 70's so I was a "wise," little girl. He was everything to me and still is.

NEVER underestimate what a grandparent can do. Both my parents are alive and I STILL think, in times of stress of in case of decision, "What would Grandfather say?" I do it almost on every puzzlement in my life and he has been dead about 30 years!

I deeply loved/love him. I needed him and he was there at the ages you are there for your grandchild, and yes, I had parents. He was there through out my young life.

In the end, he left me a trust fund and cut out other grandchildren we were so close. ( I ended up making this my mothers as she needed care.)

Every day, almost, I 'talk," to him and feel his presense around me. He believed in some sort of afterlife and taught me this.

You are such a blessing to A. You are special, and you will see how special you are as you fret over her life my grandfather would fret over me. You will probably help her fulfil a great destiny. Older people around us and raising us, older than our parents, I mean, =) make a BIG difference in our view.

Again, Hannelore, I NEVER talk about this, but I wanted to share it with you.

Keep being yourself in this. You are doing, as my grandfather was doing as he fretted, Perfectly right!

Dancer

I’m so touched how you all still come to this thread and comment.

MA, today Anaiya ate everything up…no extras’s for me…geez. I’m hungry. LOL

Meredith, I never expected everyone to comment. Like you said…just about everything has been said and more. But thanks my friend and hugs.

Gims, you are so on top of it all here. It’s hard for me to imagine you not being able to deal with stressful situations. You know that saying about cobbler mend your own shoes? That applies for me as well. Whatever, I just bought myself multi-vitamins to take daily…so I’ll be able to see what comes of Anaiya. At this point, I would lay bets that she’ll have something to do with music. Dancer, would probably know.

Celtic, yes my son’s suggestion is one step in the right direction. You said such sweet things about our family. You know that saying, if there is harmony, someone has to be a saint? Well, we aren’t any exception to that rule. But not taking Anaiya away from her environment at every little whim, will help a lot. I just hope that when her parents leave Sundays, that the tears will soon dry.

In my real-estate business I’ve noticed an increasing interest of multiple generation families looking for two to three family homes or small living units in a private community. Most Russian immigrants know of no other way to live. Actually it is an ideal situation if everyone gets along. The elderly are taken care of as well as the children. Maybe this is the only real answer to being able to support working mothers. The whole family chips in a little bit. No more lonely grandparents, and no more neglected children. It really does sound ideal, don’t you think?

Dotsie, I hope we will always be present in Anaiya’s life. I think it was gim’s who suggested we do some support page for my DIL. That has been going through my head, and I’ll speak to my sons this weekend about it. It might be a huge boost for their marriage.

Dancer, how wonderful that you had such a loving caring grandfather.
Sounds like you described my husband. He’s that way with Anaiya. Between the six of us ( her parents, her uncle and aunt and us), she’s floating on a pink cloud of love.

Don’t want to always have such a long post, but I feel a need to “talk” to all of you.