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#140882 - 02/07/08 03:45 AM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Dee]
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Jeez, bunch of ingrates. Daughter lives 15 minutes away and was a no show, no call? What's up with that?

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#140883 - 02/07/08 04:03 AM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Dee]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Hey I'll take a shot, Maybe when they hear that others know how shameful they are behaving, it might shake them up...Maybe there should be no gifts or dinner next year, the two of you spend the time somewhere nice together. Whats good for the goose, is good for the ganders.
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#140884 - 02/07/08 05:46 AM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: chatty lady]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
PL...I believe the word is selfish.

Chatty...I wish.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#140885 - 02/07/08 03:21 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Dee]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
Dee, I SO get this! It is very much along the lines of my two so-called step-daughters. They are two of the most selfish, hateful young women I've ever known. They're ages 27 and 25. For the past 7 years since my husband's divorce, they stayed around, taking everything they could get from their Dad. Even when I came into the picture, we had Christmas Eves together which now we believe only happened for what they could get. Example: Two years ago, he bought the oldest daughter (a single, working mother) a new computer, loaded to the max with all the bells and whistles. When she finally got it hooked up 3 months later, she gave him her email address on the same day as the hook up. He excitedly emailed her and she never returned it, even though she later admitted to receiving it. They've never "had the time" to call, never responded to his calls to just say hi, forgotten his birthday, groaned loudly about Father's Day where it was never convenient or was "no big deal" as they would say. And thank you's??? Forget that...never happened. This has gone on forever. Finally Frank came to his breaking point when the oldest daughter threw a dramatic fit at him on her birthday when he wanted to treat she and the granddaughter to a day at the fair. That was 1 year and 4 months ago. Everyone stopped talking at that point. We went through the holidays with no word even though he sent cards and gift certificates...never a thanks...nothing. Last year he went to each daughter privately and tried to get to the bottom of this. The meetings were sweet and full of tears and he never heard from either one again. Later we found out there had been lies to make him feel bad, etc. We also found out that the younger daughter was ripped at him because he didn't offer "enough" money toward her $30,000.00 "princess wedding." She threw us out of the wedding plans and UNinvited us to the wedding which was last August and probably one of the worst days Frank has ever endured. The older daughter banned us from her life because her grandfather had only left money to Frank almost three years ago and NOT her!!!! These two have stomped on his heart like I've never seen before. After the wedding, I've watched him become more hardened than ever toward his kids. He took them off his life insurance, out of his will and has pretty much written them off from everything. They feel they're entitled to everything and the only thing that speaks to them is MONEY, plain and simple. It's sad to see him have to go cold toward them just to protect his feelings and he's a very sensitive man. And this same man has been the one that has driven miles in snowstorms to fill their cupboards, create a birthday or Christmas for his granddaughter when times were tough, get the younger one out of scrapes she's gotten into, fix cars in the freezing cold so they'd have wheels...arrrrrrrghhhhhhh! Okay, I'll stop but I realize the intense feelings that selfish children can make happen. I'm so angry at them...you wouldn't believe it. But their sole allegiance is to their mother who has effectively taught them to lie, cheat and steal...whatever will benefit their entitled little pointed heads. She can have them!
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#140886 - 02/07/08 03:28 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: ladyjane]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
P.S. SO THERE !!!!!! Now I have to go take my blood pressure medicine.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#140887 - 02/07/08 04:27 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: ladyjane]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
Don't ask me why I'm doing this. I don't know. Beautiful daughters, gorgeous granddaughter...all people that we should have some kind of relationship with. We've never been anything other than loving, inviting and giving to these girls and yet we feel so trashed and I hurt for my husband so much. This was taken at our wedding in Oct. 2004 when things were better. Younger daughter on left, Frank, older daughter and granddaughter. It's just so sad and hard for me to imagine. My daughter is a doll and loves us both and remains close. Weird.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#140888 - 02/07/08 05:50 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: ladyjane]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
LadyJane, were the daughters jealous of you? You all look so happy in the picture. It is sad that they aren't trying from their side at all.

Maybe there are families who never have issues...but I don't know of any. Believe me, I have them with my own sons off and on too. Funny, I actually get along better with my DIL's. I think sons are more difficult because they need to be independent and show their independence by being sarcastic or nasty while they think they are funny. I don't know. I have learned though, to allow it to go in one ear and out the other. It doesn't always work,...and sometimes the stuff between the ears gets messed up,...but the things we do for harmony; sad to say is sometimes degrading.

Most importantly you are on your husband’s side. That’s all that counts, because in the end it’s all about us and our partners if we have one. Children move away, lead their own lives, and don’t think half as much about us as we think of them.

I know when I’m old and needy, that I have to see how I can be helped, because I know that my sons would never do for me what I do for my mother. Sad, but it’s better to face the truth now and be prepared.

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#140889 - 02/07/08 06:02 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Edelweiss]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
So true, Hannelore. That's how my husband has come to feel...that we have to live OUR lives. If they come back someday, they'll have to prove themselves before we could ever trust them. But either way, we have to move forward. The ball's in their court now. It's just such a heartbreak. They're so unbelievable. I feel so much for him because I can't imagine just being thrown away by my own children. They definitely have issues and will have to learn the hard way. Of course, what's particularly hard is to have no contact with Alexis, the granddaughter. That is what's really sad. She's 6 now. We got married on her third birthday and she was our little flower girl. By the way, the photo is of hubby and his daughters and granddaughter. I wasn't in it. In fact, I still don't know why I posted it. I really got wound up talking about this!
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#140890 - 02/07/08 06:15 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: ladyjane]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Ladyjane, get yourself some good chocolate, put your feet up and listen to Benny Goodman. I wish I could walk with you over those cliffs on the ocean shore, and we would just breathe in that salty air.
You watch that heart of yours, you hear.

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#140891 - 02/07/08 11:41 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Edelweiss]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
LJ, my youngest son and his wife were living in my home and enjoying all the advantages of living in a resort and paying no rent can bring. They were here a couple of years and he suddenly changed, became moody and mean, long story short, he was hooked on drugs. He bacame abusive to his wife and one night during a fight between them I stepped in and let him know I didn't raise my sons to abuse women or drugs. He said then we're moving out! I said okay, after offering to pay for himto go get help, whatever it took. He said, He said he didn't have a problem, I did and that they were moving out. Okay then, BYE!!! LJ, that was 1n 1994 and I haven't seen or heard from them since. Sometimes no matter what, we as parents have to put our foot down and accept the consequences, its that or allow the to run over top of us, disrespecting us and what we stand for...
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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