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#140872 - 02/04/08 03:14 PM Guess What!!!
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
I posted this at the end of "I need your advice" but it's been so long since I'd posted there I wasn't sure if anyone would notice...I just wanted ya'll to know that it's over (as far as we're concerned)...wooooooooooooo hooooooooooo!!!

UPDATE!!!!
The truck is gone. I did it. I stuck to my guns and Larry and I drove it over to LW's brother's house yesterday. To make a long story short...I gave LW until this past weekend with no more time and no options. He kept stalling for more time and I sat down one night and wrote him a heart-to-heart email and talked to him as if he were my own son...I talked to him about what it means to be a responsible adult, to clean up ones messes instead of leaving it for ones parents to do, especially at the age of 26, and I talked to him about some other things that I felt needed to be addressed concerning his dad. I knew I was taking a risk of him more or less telling me to MYOB, but he didn't. Two days before I sent the email to LW, his dad sent him an email asking him when he'd be moving the truck...Larry's always let his kids call the shots and it's been a learning experience for Larry to step up and maintain control of this situation, but in the end, he did and I'm so proud of him. Yesterday, LW met us at his brother's house and we spent a few minutes with him. He was fine and now the truck is his brother's problem. Hopefully, it won't sit another year before it's finally dealt with. It's between LW and his brother now.
It was difficult for me to keep having to push my husband to do the right thing and it was hard for me to step in and finally explain to LW my views on responsibility and being a man about one's bills. He's still obsessed in the old truck he bought and despite all the money he's poured into it, it still will not run. And I also explained (gently) to him his dads and my views about when he leaves the military and if he hasn't saved his money in order to secure an apartment. My husband says from what he's been able to see that it's going to be a long time before LW gets his act together concerning spending money he doesn't have and the bankruptcy didn't teach him anything. JJ, like you, I'm a believer of tough love when it's called for and it was necessary in this situation because had we not insisted, nothing would have been done and the truck would still be sitting outside rusting and LW not caring.
If nothing else comes from this I know that LW understands that at least when it comes to me and his dad that we'll be fair with him but we're not afraid to press him to do the right thing when necessary.
Thanks for everyone's advice...it was greatly appreciated. I can always count on support when I come here...and I'm sure, as a step-mom, that I'll be back.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#140873 - 02/05/08 03:27 AM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Dee]
Happy Birthday Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Dr. Phil had a line today, it was "What do you REQUIRE of him?" in terms of the good for all concerned. that's what this sounds like, right?

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#140874 - 02/05/08 05:01 AM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Princess Lenora]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Right...all the way around good.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#140875 - 02/05/08 06:27 AM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Dee]
gims Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/07
Posts: 3404
Loc: USA
... and now we wait for Chapter Two, where you tell us how proud you are of him and what he has done with the truck.
Two thumbs UP, dee.

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#140876 - 02/05/08 09:14 AM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: gims]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Gee, Dee...now you can plant a flower bed in form of a truck. Just so it won't look soooo empty.

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#140877 - 02/05/08 12:33 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Edelweiss]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
Dee, I'm so glad you've found some resolve in this situation! You and Larry must be breathing easier....good for you!!
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#140878 - 02/05/08 07:18 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: ladyjane]
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
Dee, thank goodness this problem is resolved! And for for you, sticking to your guns.
_________________________
My handcrafted jewelry:
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more jewelry, plus bead supplies

Poet and essayist

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#140879 - 02/05/08 09:56 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: meredithbead]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Yep...THAT problem is resolved, thank goodness.

This happened yesterday. Yesterday, was my husband's birthday and I had a surprise get-together at his mom's house...nothing big because everyone was working and it just happened that Larry was going to be home for a few hours so I quickly put together a cake and his presents and ran them over to his mom's the night before. I didn't invite Larry's kids because LW's in another state and his other son and daughter could not take off work. It ended up being me, Larry, his mom and his sister...which was nice.
During the day Larry's brother from Virginia called and my son, (Larry's step-son) Ray, called to wish him a happy birthday. As the evening wore on there was no phone call from LW and no phone call from his daughter, Danielle. Finally, around 9 p.m. Larry went to lie down in bed and watch TV. I got on the internet and emailed LW and Danielle (she was online) and gently reminded them that it was their dad's birthday. Ten minutes later Danielle at least sent him an e-card, and despite the fact that she only lives 15 minutes away, did not pick up the phone and call her dad. And LW, instead of sending his dad an email or calling him, emailed me and made excuses that he never remembers anyone's birthday and to tell his dad happy birthday. So, why didn't he just send his father an email?
I'm just of the opinion that these two are selfish, self-centered brats who only think of themselves. It's not been a week ago that I had the heart-felt talk with LW about stepping up to the plate and being there more for his dad and he knew it was his Father's birthday because I'd told him about the new chainsaw I'd given him a week early. It obviously went in one ear and out the other...Larry, of course was hurt and told me today that his kids are selfish and they take after their mom...it was always about her and no one else. It's obvious who they took after.
This past Christmas Larry and I put so much time and money and effort into his children's gifts and having a good time with them here...they came in with NOTHING for their dad, got their gifts, ate, and left. It just stuns me that there are kids who can do this and be okay about it. Their Father is a sweet, considerate man who would go to the ends of the earth for his kids...but, will they take two minutes and say 'happy birthday, dad'? Too much trouble for them. I do not understand grown adult children who do this.
I've gotta stop or I could go on and on...UGH!!!
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#140880 - 02/06/08 10:17 PM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: Dee]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Are Larry's children adults Dee? If they are I would take them aside maybe to lunch together or separately and ask why they feel it ias okay to "INSULT" their father? Yes, I said "INSULT," because thats what they are doing. I had a similar problem with my step grandkids, adults doing the same thing. Then not even saeing a thank you for the gifts they themselves received. Until I used the word "INSULT" they hadn't a clue...
Now, problem solved with no hard feelings and my son will never know because I swore them to secrecy, and they know better then to mess with grandma...LOL!


Edited by chatty lady (02/06/08 10:19 PM)
_________________________
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http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#140881 - 02/07/08 03:37 AM Re: Guess What!!! [Re: chatty lady]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Chatty...Larry's children don't care what I have to say...well, they do if it's what they want to hear. Believe me, if I thought it would do any good I would, but I've known them for over 4 years and they just don't care. His daughter is 30, middle son 27, youngest 26. I'm glad your talk got results...you were lucky. Maybe I should have you talk to them.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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