New Drugs For Women


D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.


ST. M O M M A'S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.


E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you
of
how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they
moved
out.


P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before
an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.


D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.


F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
urge to flip off other drivers.


B U Y A G R A

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
duration,
and credit limit of spending spree.


J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to drop the toilet seat.


A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.


N A G A M E N T

When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation
level as nagging him.

I had just gotten this in email and wuz gonna post it, but you beat me to it

Too funny! Let's see. I dropped my son off at the airport this morning after being with us for a week. I think I'll have some emptynestrogen.

What do you want?

Nagament

I'll take some Damnitol, please.

Felt like a good laugh was in order here and ths fills the bill. What are your feelings about having a glass of wine with a meal or afterwards? I've read it is extremely healthy and good for the blood too, so long as you don't over-do it and become some middle aged wine-O!

I'll take some of the F L I P I T O R.
Try I-95 at rush hour.

chatty, I'll have an occasional glass of wine. or lite beer, but that's about it. And when I do, it feels so good. I can feel my body relax, my tense shoulders droop and I lighten up a litte which is great.

I will never drink more than two drinks. I think the more you drink, the more you have to drink to get the initial relaxation component and that scares me. That's why I don't do it often.