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#14030 - 03/01/05 10:50 PM "Smashed"
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Twice in the past few days I've read about a new book written by a gal who drank her way through high school and college. Koren Zailckas is 24 and apparently she's lucky to have lived to tell her story. I'm happy to see her book making headlines.

Her past lifestyle is a similar one lived by many young gals. Drinking is the norm on college campuses. Heck, it's the norm for high school kids. I've sat through panel discussions listening to kids spill their guts about what goes on each and every weekend and it ain't pretty.

All this drinking and drugging disgusts me. Everything is so over the top. Kids don't just drink, they get drunk over and over again. Parents know and accept it. How can that be? Especially if they live at home?

I intend to read this book. I never stop talking to my kids. They're gonna love me for reading another one of these books that reveals teens actions. But you know what? I love being informed. I won't stick my head in the sand...and I will always continue to plant the seeds in my kid's brains.

I'll post about it after I read it.

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#14031 - 03/02/05 12:34 AM Re: "Smashed"
Songbird Offline
Member

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
Dotsie: I applaud you for reading and keeping informed, and most of all, for talking to your kids. [Cool] They need that reminder and they need to know we, as parents, care.

[Frown] I just learned about a 22 year old guy that got so drunk... He was found in a jaccuzzi, passed out... He had a heart attack and is still unconscious since last friday night.

They still don't know if there will be any permanent damages [Eek!] .

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#14032 - 03/02/05 04:20 AM Re: "Smashed"
Vicki M. Taylor Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 2196
Loc: Tampa, FL
Dotsie, you keep reading those books and talking to your kids. Spread the word to other parents and maybe they'll talk to their kids as well.

These kids do it to act out and get attention. Well, I think parents should put their work down and pay a little more attention to their kids.

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#14033 - 03/03/05 09:22 PM Re: "Smashed"
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Vicki, your book was a winner for parents to keep informed about teens! Thanks for doing your part to educate parents.

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#14034 - 03/04/05 02:15 AM Re: "Smashed"
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
The Jane Pauley show is discussing grade school children and their cocaine use! Yikes! LLL

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#14035 - 03/04/05 10:40 PM Re: "Smashed"
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
NOo that's really over the top.

I haven't read this book yet, but I was thinking how great it would be if it was a required text for all college freshman. After reading they could sit and discuss it. It could be life changing. So often their behavior is governed by what everyone else is doing and what they think they need to do to fit in. If they could all realize they could love one another without the alcohol and be accepted for who they are, not thei fake selves...maybe the behavior would change.

Polyanna will sign off now.

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#14036 - 03/18/05 01:00 PM Re: "Smashed"
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Vicki, my daughter will be at one of two choices of Florida state colleges this year. While I don't fear that she is 'the type' do try to fit in here at home where her STRONG stance on these issues prevail, I'm scared. I fear that she's spoiled to being popular here, in her home town. I would never flat out tell her this because she's made it clear that I offend her when I even think that she'd do the typical/normal teen things.

But, aren't those the targets? The ones that don't or haven't lived on the edge? I saw this Jane Pauly show and just thanked God. I wasn't thankiing Him because my daughter or son had never tried drugs. My daughter admitted that in her freshie year, some friends had some and she tried it. She explained the experience and decided from there that it wasn't for he. I thanked Him for that.

I especially thanked Him after this JP show. I recalled my country raised self being tossed into a city world where 'weed' was the 'in' thing. I tried it too and thought it would never ever go away. Once it did, I shared with anyone that would listen that it was not for everyone. LOL! What a trip. I like control toooo much for that.

However, this could have been much worse cause see, I'd let my 'freshie' daughter drive to school that day she admitted trying it. She casually spoke of her experience, along with another friend/unauthorized passenger, of that trial drug day. She said that after they'd finished, everyone in the car (also unauthorized by me) told her that she was driving too slow.

I wasn't critical of her/their experience since they are seniors now divulging the truth. I just listened as a parent that had thanked God that 'mine' had NEVER done that.

When she told me how many other passengers had been in the car, despite the ONE I'd authorized, my insides flipped at what could've happened, like so many other stories we hear about. Bless their little souls too. Many were just experimenting, like my own child. Many never got the opp to tell me that they understood 'why' not to do drugs.

Now that high school peer pressure is over, I really fear what's out there; GROWN UP PEER PRESSURE. While I'd like to believe that her experience, however mild it was, was a lesson, it may well be a curse since she didn't experience what really could have happened.

Just for the record, those very students that experimented with drugs that 'freshie' influential day, have gone on to have a baby, one jailed, and one dropped out because they continued. One was safe at home telling her story long side my daughter.

This epidemic is sooo sad! I recall trying to 'fit in' and understood where she was coming from in the 'circulation' of pressure.

What do we do when we've said, shown and prayed? I guess we just keep praying and thanking Him when we find out without a tragic story behind it.

Sugaree

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#14037 - 03/18/05 06:27 PM Re: "Smashed"
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Amen to your last sentence! Beautifully stated.

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#14038 - 03/18/05 10:34 PM Re: "Smashed"
Kathryn Offline
Member

Registered: 11/20/02
Posts: 317
Loc: Towson
My doctor suggested that part of the problem with American children and drinking is that from the moment they first go to school the just say no campaign begins. By the time high school rolls around, they've heard the talk for years and years and are desensitized to it. In addition, because we've made alcohol this big, big deal, they are determined to try it. He said European culture has much less of a problem because if the family tradition is to share a glass of wine or a beer or a brandy at the dinner table, even the youngest children are included. Thus alcohol is not glamorous or taboo or any of that, it is simply another beverage. What do you think?

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#14039 - 03/18/05 11:23 PM Re: "Smashed"
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
I am confused and don't know what to think. Recently a young man in his twenties drank himself to death at a fraternity party at our state university so the university leaders banned alcohol from the entire campus.
Students now say drinking has escalated. It seems the restriction has given alcohol a mystique it didn't previously have and even the under age students are using all kinds of schemes to get it. Once they have it in their posession, they have to drink it all before returning to campus so they are drinking more and often they are drinking it in cars.

Maybe it's like prohibition when they say there was more drinking than after it was repealed. Maybe it's an Amereican thing. We just want whatever anyone tells us we can't have.

smile

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#14040 - 03/18/05 11:51 PM Re: "Smashed"
Kathryn Offline
Member

Registered: 11/20/02
Posts: 317
Loc: Towson
That's exactly the point my doctor makes...the mystique makes it intriguing for kids!

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#14041 - 03/19/05 12:53 AM Re: "Smashed"
Danita Offline
Member

Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
I don't know if this will interest anyone or not - but I figured I would throw it out there.

My daughter smoked pot for the first time this summer - she actually screwed things up pretty good for herself (lost our trust, etc).

I found a place online that sells home drug testing kits - and they are affordable.

We discussed this with our daughter, and let her know that when she goes out with her friends or overnight - that we have the right to test her. If she doesn't allow us to - she is already guilty.

She knows if she is guilty of using - then she will be roped in tight. She doesn't want that!

This gives her a REALLY good excuse to not use.

If anyone is interested, I would be happy to post the website.

danita

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#14042 - 03/23/05 08:16 AM Re: "Smashed"
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
One of the best pieces of advice I learned was at a drug/alcohol seminar when our oldest was a freshman in high school. The football coach said to put an end to sleep overs and last minute plans via phone. He also advised parents to welcome thier children home at the end of the night.

We can make a difference by making them sleep in their own beds and by waiting up for them when they arrive home in the evening. I'm not saying we can put an end to everything, but we can create some control if they know they have to see Mom or Dad when they walk through the door.

The drug testing is a great idea. I think by the time they're juniors and seniors they can use the excuse that they're parents test them and won't allow certain behaviors. By that time they have a circle of friends. I think it's harder for the 8th, 9th, and 10th graders because they are more caught up with the peer pressure. Any thoughts?

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#14043 - 03/23/05 06:46 AM Re: "Smashed"
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Only to say these measures work...really work. I was strict and am still glad I was. My parents met me at the door if I were out and were strict and I was and am a better person for it. I still thank my mom.... [Big Grin]

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#14044 - 03/23/05 09:40 AM Re: "Smashed"
Jersey Girl Offline
Member

Registered: 03/14/05
Posts: 247
Loc: New Jersey
I'm fortunate that my children never bought into the peer pressure. (I guess my crossed fingers and nail biting paid off)I know they have had occassional drinks but they were too driven to let something like that get in the way of their goals. A friend of mine does have a problem with her 24 year-old daughter. She quit college in her third year began working and she never has any money for her credit card bills and she needs a car to get to work but can't afford one, anyway she always has money to go out drinking on the weekends. My friend is tired of finding her daughter and unfamiliar friends passed out on the couch. The irony of all this. I was what some would consider a leniant parent. I gave the kids enough room to come into their own yet always stayed involved and threw down a heavy hand when needed and my friend was the strict parent. All I can say is do your best to guide children and be consistent.

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#14045 - 03/24/05 04:10 AM Re: "Smashed"
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
At least her daughter is passed out on her sofa and not somewhere strange. If there can be any upside to this that would be the only one. This too shall pass, the question here is can we parents live through it while we wait? [Confused]

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